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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ need. You are one of the few ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ We encourage you to explore our many options. Our HR staff ̡̨̨̨̡̧̹͉̹͉̞̪̮͙͉̟͔͉͎͎̤̹͙͉̟̱̠̻͚͎͔͉̤͚͇̳̘̭̩͇͕͔͜ͅị̷̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̛̛̹͈̙̹̼̼̱̱͓͓̱͎͚̝͚̥͕̻͇͎̖̘̪̭̼̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙̾̄̃̒̾̎͆͆̈́̑͊̋͌̀̑̌̆̽͌͑͆̽͛̀̀͋̔͊̃̾̾̃̂͆̀̍̽̏̀̃̚͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅç̶̨̨̨̛̛̼͈͖͔̼̖̙͕͍̟͇̤̩̳͇̳̰̤͓̳̱͍̻̖̼̩͉̜͎̹͖̺̯̣͔̗̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀́̋̽̿͑̽͑̋͗͋͌͗͗̅̒̐͒͆̒̎͒͋̀͋̾͛͌̽̒̉̽̌̈̉̀͋͐̆̽̅̉̐͆͑̓̑͛͋̀̓͋̒͌͒͌͒̈́̔̽͒̚͘͘̚̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝e̷̒͑̄͒͂̑̆̂̈́̕new features. If ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ one new feature for Retrospec™, ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅe winning ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅprize. ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝remember? ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ Users, for your continued patronage! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. Upon opening this entry at all, characters will find themselves spammed with notifications and strange glitched texts until they make some sort of suggestion for a new application feature on the Retrospec app. This can range from a personalized friends list to a watermelon image gallery to a watergun charging station. It doesn't have to make sense or be useful - it just has to be a suggestion, at which point the application will return to normal.

Comments

[true_noir]

[totally stupid, but Retrospec deserved no better. It did take her a second to get all that. Her vocabulary was good after two years, but not outstanding, so she had to look twice at a couple words.]

You believe that you are the hero of this little story? Perhaps this is one of those famous british dark comedies where nobody ever wins? I doubt you would fare nearly so well against my terrible coding skills in those. Of course, if it was one of those, there would be considerably more vulgarities than you have managed yet.

[alienates]

Ok how's this.
I am going to shove your coding so far down your throat that your excrement is going come out in the form of CSS.
That's heroic, right?

[ karkat that sounds like something a villain would say??? ]

[true_noir]

[Totally calling him on that, yep.]

Monsieur Karkat, do I have to send you to school to teach you the proper dialogue of heroics? You sound far more like a villain there than you do a hero. And would you truly do such a thing to a perfectly defenseless little florist like me, where others could see?

[alienates]

Oh please.
Who are they going to believe?
You, a seemingly respectable member of society or
Wait fuck. No I see your point.

[true_noir]

And now you are back to being caught in a web, this time of your own fashioning. Better luck next time, I should think, though this has been rather enjoyable.

[And a second or two later, having had her filly of goofy sarcasm for the day.]

So, other than clearly annoyed at this horrendous thing, and living in a world of horses turned into oversized poultry, how have you been since we last spoke?

[alienates]

The same?
I saw that people were suddenly remembering weird shit but it hasn't happened to me yet.
So maybe I'm completely normal and everyone else is a weirdo.

[true_noir]

Yes, I seem to have been afflicted with that odd little curse, twice now. If the figments are to be believed, I am apparently a world traveler of some sort, and have visited both Corsica and the Alps, instead of living alone in my mother's vineyard as I remember.

But, perhaps you are right, and you are lucky? There are worse alternatives.

[alienates]

Or it'll turn out that I just jinxed myself and tomorrow I'm going to message you, "Hey, guess what, I suddenly remember actually being a tyrannical villain who tormented florists! Fucking wild, right?"

[true_noir]

You would be forgiven for doing so, so long as you changed your wicked ways. In fact, I realize that we are not close, but if you need someone to talk to, should those visions hit you too, I am available. A few of the others have been helpful in calming my nerves as wel.

It is not that the visions are terrifying, per se. It is, however, very jarring to experience one.

[alienates]

Do you think it's real?
The vision you got. Do you actually think it's a thing or just some bullshit hallucination that's occurring for some reason?

[true_noir]

I do not know. I have reason to suspect they're memories, and reason to believe it's a hallucination. I have never seen a picture of Corsica before, and yet looking at images, my vision was so very close to the reality it was eerie. And, yet, my mother remembers nothing of such trips, and I have lived with her since I was adopted as a small child.

It could be either, but I want to believe a hallucination. It is simpler that way, is it not?

[alienates]

I guess?
No one wants to believe that there's things about their own lives they apparently have zero control over besides the more typical crap.
Although I can't really say for sure since, again, I have not had to go through an identity crisis. Yet?

[true_noir]

Yes, that is it really. I have worked hard to keep my life under my own control, and I rather like my life. An app virus interfering is not such a big deal, but the visions are worrisome. I don't like the idea that I might not remember such large things.

I hope you can avoid them, but I am a little concerned of what I think is obvious by now. Most of us with this app seem to suffer similar things, do we not?

[alienates]

Besides suffering general annoyance at how this poor excuse of an app has invaded our lives and

[ he sends that, and then there's at least a minute where he doesn't finish the thought. eventually he comes back ]

And is apparently being even more fucking obnoxious with the notifs.
I just got like fifty pings for no goddamn reason at all. I am ready for death.

[true_noir]

I am trying to pay very little attention to it, and shutting it off if I must. You sound as if you could use something to help you relax. Something to forget all this nonsense, as if any of us truly could.

[alienates]

Ha ha. No I always sound like I need to relax.
I wouldn't be surprised if the thing just turns your phone back on if you keep it turned off for too long tbh.

[true_noir]

Which naturally leads to the question of "Do you actually need to relax?" And I would not be surprised if it did. I rarely remember when I actually turn my phone off, after all. It is not as if we think of it that often, not until recently anyway, is it?

[alienates]

That would depend on your opinion on why someone would need to relax.
I mean, in theory, I perhaps might need to "chill" but also who has time for that.
And right. The only times mine was ever off was when the battery died and usually I'd just charge it as soon as I could after so it was never really an issue.

[true_noir]

I suggest tea. It's very relaxing, and I am sure there is a Starbucks around somewhere, if you can forgive their prices.

Perhaps an experiment? Remove the battery and see if it comes back on one day?

[alienates]

I cannot forgive their prices, no.
I'm on a budget.

Maybe I'll try that on a day where I don't want to be contacted by anyone.
Since otherwise it'd be inconvenient maybe.
You could test it out too.

[true_noir]

Perhaps a day off in that case. I would think it best to do it on a day when I am not expecting to be called at all. I can think of a few that might work for that purpose.

Just wait, it will spite us to pretend like nothing is wrong and catch us by surprise later.

[alienates]

If something like that actually happens then that'd be like twenty times more suspicious than if it happens right away.
Since that might mean they were actually aware of what we were doing?
Unless I'm just being overly paranoid here.

[true_noir]

They found your name and a way to make every phone you ever buy install their app, no matter the carrier, and their offices have a fake elevator that does not open and doors that only work if you use their app.

I think, if we are being honest, there is no such thing as 'too much' paranoia, no matter how much I wish it were not the case.

[alienates]

It's not even just the phones.
Whenever I use one of my school's computers, the app is there?
And then when someone else used the same computer it wasn't there anymore.

[true_noir]

Wait. Computer programs do not delete themselves. Did they switch user accounts before this happened?