Humblebragging intensifies

[momentaryspring]

[ Imagine a dramatic sigh right here. ]

It's finally happened. I've become TOO STRONG.

For all those of you that I might have beaten into a blubbering pulp before, I apologize. It was my every intention to give you a second chance at redeeming yourself for your prior SHAMEFUL SHOWING. But I can no longer do this in good conscience.

I'd just end up wiping the floor with you too hard.

Comments

[alienates]

Whatever. Try to control your raging hard-on when you beat defenseless people into blubbering pulps.

[momentaryspring]

I just got done saying that I could no longer do so, you illiterate.

[ God why couldn't these people read ]

[alienates]

That still implies you did it, asshole. By my count, you've picked on more defenseless people than I have, so you can judge me all you want but you're still the bigger fucker here.

[momentaryspring]

You can't read and you can't count? Astonishing.

[alienates]

>For all those of you that I might have beaten into a blubbering pulp before

Are you stupid? You literally say RIGHT THERE that you've beaten people who are weaker than you up and are only now feeling guilty about it.

[momentaryspring]

I shall explain this with simple language, so that even a child could understand.

I am a martial artist. Martial artists fight each other often. I have beaten my share of them in the past, but none that I would count weaklings.

With my new power, I can no longer fight any of them, as it would now be picking on the weak.

Does that suffice, simpleton? Should I explain hyperbole to you as well, or do you actually believe there are pulpy people piles lying around?

[alienates]

It's finally happened. I've become TOO STRONG.

For all those of you that I might have beaten into a blubbering pulp before, I apologize. It was my every intention to give you a second chance at redeeming yourself for your prior SHAMEFUL SHOWING. But I can no longer do this in good conscience.

I'd just end up wiping the floor with you too hard.

Hmmmm.
Let's look at this thing you posted here.
Now, as you have so kindly pointed out, my reading comprehension seems to be unimpressive, so I hope I can do this right!
But looking through this... I see no mention of martial arts at all?
Is "SHAMEFUL SHOWING" a synonym for it that my tiny, pea-sized brain is unaware of?
I wonder how I, someone who knows literally nothing about you outside of what you posted in this network, am supposed to just automatically fucking know what you do in your free time when you aren't sucking off your own ego?
Or are martial artists the only people who ever fight?? Is this a thing that has suddenly become true without me looking?
Oh, it just must be my overwhelming stupidity at work again I guess!!
Shame on me for not being psychic?

[momentaryspring]

I'm not even going to bother to read your crazy talk any more. Try not to kill any cats on your way home.

[alienates]

Whatever helps you believe you're not a scumbag, dick!