002 - Octopus's Garden In the Shade

[thebeastwithout]

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[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins

[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.

The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.

The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.

It's kinda gross.]

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Comments

[invocate]

Gar! Are you okay?

How did that happen?

[thebeastwithout]

definitely super not ok!!!

i dunno! i just woke up! i was... i dunno i think i had some weird dreams?

[invocate]

what kind of weird dream? what was it about?

[maybe if she can get him talking about something other than the creepy tentacle attached to his shoulder...]

[thebeastwithout]

uh i mean

[there is a long pause here]

since... things started changing

[if Li-Na has seen him around lately, she may or may not have commented on his new hair and... fangs]

i guess i've just been having nightmares about other stuff happening
'cept they weren't nightmares 'cause they turned out to be true!!
unless
this is a nightmare

wait is this a nightmare
say yes

[invocate]

I am sorry, but you are awake.

[she can't exactly comment on anyone's hair since her own turned dark green and more than tripled in length on Christmas]

Gar, did you dream about being a octopus?

[thebeastwithout]

uhhhhhhhh not exactly

since this started i dream a lot about like

turning into some kinda monster alien thing

[invocate]

i can understand how that would be disturbing</ br>

is your arm still a ... you know?

[thebeastwithout]

yeah
it pretty much looks like what i had imagined


...it's kinda droopy though

hey octopuses can grow back their limbs right

maybe if i chop it off it will grow back as an arm

[invocate]

What? NO!

No chopping anything off!

Gar, maybe this is a transformation power. A friend of mine can turn his arm into a giant metal claw.

If it is, you can change your arm back to normal.

[thebeastwithout]

i've got pretty sharp scissors though

[gar should probably not be allowed
to have any sharp objects]

that would great i think?? but i definitely don't have any memories of something like that! and like, if wanting something makes it happen, i've definitely been trying!

[invocate]

Retrospec sent me some shoes a couple months ago. They are actually a weapon, armored boots. When I put them on, I could not get take them off at first. I was scared and panicked.

[if Gar cares to look back on the network, he can even find a video of this incident :'D]

I finally got them off after a friend calmed me and I was able to connect to the weapon properly. In my mind.

[she really hopes this is helpful??? and works??? because she doesn't like the idea of Gar just... turning into a green alien monster thing permanently, and she's sure he doesn't either.]

[thebeastwithout]

ok so
lesson one
never put on or use anything retrospec sends to you

lesson two
if i calm down enough i can take off my tentacle?

[this might not be exactly what li-na was trying to say, but gar seems to consider it]

[invocate]

um
yes
sort of?

[close enough]

[thebeastwithout]

i usually calm down by playing video games though
i guess that's not an option anymore

oh my god if this doesn't change back i can't ever play a game again

oh noooooooooooooooo

[invocate]

[that... probably didn't help...]

is there anything else you find relaxing?

i like to listen to music or meditate.

[thebeastwithout]

meditate??

i thought that was for like 80 year old ladies who couldn't move much

[invocate]

everyone can meditate. i learned it for ballet. it calms the mind and helps you focus.

[thebeastwithout]

uh ok

how do you do that

you close your eyes and hum really loud, right?

[invocate]

Haha, no. Here, there is a meditation app I use that helps me.

[insert link to some spiffy app]

Just follow the instructions.

[thebeastwithout]

ok

it says to focus on my breathing

...is it ok if i'm still hyperventilating while i do this or is that like, gonna mess up the meditation

[invocate]

it is okay. the exercise should help you breath normally after a while.

[thebeastwithout]

...ok i'm supposed to clear my mind of 'external distractions' or something

i guess i'll get back to you in a little while

if you don't hear from me again it's cause i went full octopus and i'm living my new life in the sewers

[invocate]

let me know if it helps any

really. if it does not help in ten or fifteen minutes we will figure something else out.

[thebeastwithout]

don't worry
i've got the internet open and i can get a one way ticket to the pacific ocean for only...

Fourteen hundred bucks.

[invocate]

that seems a bit high. a non-stop ticket to san diego does not cost that much. unless you want to go to hawaii. then it might cost 1400 for nonstop.