002 - Octopus's Garden In the Shade

[thebeastwithout]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins

[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.

The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.

The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.

It's kinda gross.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Comments

[thebeastwithout]

i mean
i can barely make it through a week without feeling my soul draining from my body so
i don't like, skip but i might like, leave early sometimes.......

don't tell my parents...

[maidofmistakes]

No way would I tell your parents! I'm not like that! I just... uh, sorry. At least you didn't turn into a whole octopus.

[thebeastwithout]

uhhhhh
yeah sure
i guess it could be worse
at least i'm not turning into a giant bug like that guy in that one b

[gar's message concerningly cuts off there]

[maidofmistakes]

Gar? Speak to me! Please tell me you didn't turn into a whole octopus!

[thebeastwithout]

[the concerning silence continues for a few minutes longer]

ok just to reiterate
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IT's a bUg lEG NoW FUCK sorry well kinda sorry FUUUUUUUUDGE what's happening!!!! as soon as i said that it turned into a COKCROACH LEG

[maidofmistakes]

What? So it turns into whatever animal you're thinking of? Oh, man, that's terrifying! Okay, think human, think human!

[thebeastwithout]

i'm trying!! i forgot what my arm looked like! what does an arm look like??? what if it sticks like this?!

[maidofmistakes]

It can't stay that way forever. I mean, it already changed once, right? So maybe you can turn it into whatever you want! Like a robot arm or something?

[thebeastwithout]

oh hey that'd be kinda sweet

...

i mean no wait i want my own arm!
why don't i have pictures of my arms arou --
oh hold on i still have another arm

ok i can do this

[maidofmistakes]

Okay! Just... tell me how it goes. And try not to put it on backwards, maybe.

[thebeastwithout]

arm arm arm arm arm arm arm arm arm

...ok that might not actually be helping

i'm gonna get back to you ok

think about arms for me

[maidofmistakes]

Sure! You think it'll help? Arm arm arm arm arm arm arm arm. Right arm. Or left arm? Correct arm. I know I would make it the wrong arm. But you don't screw up as much as I do, so maybe that's not really needed. Sorry. Arm?

[thebeastwithout]

left arm

[is all gar has to say for a little while as kara continues to text him the word 'arm'
this is
definitely gonna work!!
probably?]

ok i think it's getting less... brown?

[maidofmistakes]

Great! Keep going! Just think about arms and having an arm and all that arm stuff.

[thebeastwithout]

...wait no the sunlight was just reflecting weirdly off my um

insect leg hairs?

ok no this is too freaky every time i look at it i wanna gag

maybe i can turn it into something else first

[maidofmistakes]

Like a non-gross animal? What's a non-gross animal? Dog? Try dog.

[thebeastwithout]

awwwww puppy
ok i can do puppies
i can do this!
i have... super arm changing super powers and i have total control over whatever this is and i'm not doomed to be an octopus-cockroach!!!

[maidofmistakes]

Yeah! I hope so. I mean, past me apparently knew a guy who turned into a dinosaur, turning your arm into stuff should be easy. Hey, maybe that was how you flew that one time!

[thebeastwithout]

oh man turning into a dinosaur would be rad
is that like a real superpower
can i actually do that

ditch the puppies i'm going pterodactyl i know exactly what those look like!

[it is a testament to how much gar cares about dinosaurs that he can spell pterodactyl correctly
a second testament is made evident shortly after]

oh craaaaaaaaaaaaaap

[maidofmistakes]

Oh, no
Did I break it?

[thebeastwithout]

no THIS IS GREAT WAIT

[in a few moments, Kara gets a picture of Beast Boy holding up a glorious pterodactyl wing]

LOOK IT SWITCHED AGAIN

[maidofmistakes]

Nice! Maybe you can turn it into just about anything you want! I'm glad you're getting more control. I think.

[thebeastwithout]

iT'S WORKINg

hold on i'm gonna call you typing is taking too long!!

[the phone rings about zero seconds later]

Kara?!

[maidofmistakes]

Huh? Oh, hey, did you fix your arm?

[thebeastwithout]

No it's still a wing. But that's great!

...I mean, it doesn't fix any of my problems, but this is way better! I've got a giant wing! ...Maybe I can jump off a building and actually fly now!