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hey. looks like you're all busy right now and joanne is down with a cold, so this probably doesn't have to be fancy. r&d doesn't report anything major for the next month so don't be dumbasses and make a problem of your own. don't fuck with the liaison, we're not replacing him.

looks like there's some weird fucking stone at city hall now. enjoy that, i guess.

pretty sure zee warned you about the stones, but if you broke it, that sucks and we don't know how to fucking fix it yet so good job, idiot. you might need to be a little proactive. r&d probably has something in mind, but good fucking luck getting a straight answer out of any of them but the kid. maybe they'll at least tell zee what they need, though. or if you're chill with the loss, whatever.

that's about it.

wait, right. joanne wanted to thank two of you for letting her help with holiday shit last month. thanks for not being assholes. the kid likes having stuff to do, i guess.

and that's really it. later.

Wendy Guo
Security/Archivist
Retr

spec Incorporated

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think she cared for me. Haha.
But that's fine.
You don't need a person to be grateful or happy to do anything, right?

That’s true.

It’s nice, but not necessary.

What did you save her from?

Good, good.
I am glad to teach you to learn to live outside of other's feelings of gratitude.

It would seem like two high-magical beings.
One which stood before me... or rather within the shadows of the forest yet I could see it.
And another that was charging and breaking through the forest as it was chasing after us.
The one that was before me was the one attempting to halt us from running.
It wanted the one that was destroying the forest to catch us.

That sounds terrifying,..

It’s so hard to believe that magic and monsters exists, but I had a memory recently that is making me question things...

Indeed.
Yet my other self was not afraid.

But you had more unpleasant memories come to you?

That’s good.

My other self was trying so hard to be brave, I could feel it, but

He

I

Lost my leg

To a beast

A beast?
That must have been very frightening.
Are you all right?

Oh.
Hm.

I see.
That's why you're seeking out happy memories that others experience.
You're looking for hope for yourself.

It was terrifying

Black, with red eyes

Kind of like a dragon

Or a demon

And yes, maybe that’s why I posted here...

It's not here anymore.
You're here with us.
You may never experience any happy memories.
But does that matter?
Are you not experiencing happiness in the waking world?

[Atsushi has barely been sleeping due to nightmares, but worrying people won’t help any...]

Thank you

You’re right

I should do what I can to be happy now

I have to

You're welcome.
But don't force happiness.
And accept the fear that you feel.
It's only normal.
In a case like that, I don't know if anyone could save you.
But I believe someone would willingly sacrifice themselves for you to live.
That alone should make you feel relieved, yes?

I’ll do my best...

That’s actually kind of comforting to think about, even if I wouldn’t want anyone to put themselves in danger for me.

The weird thing is that the beast or demon or whatever had no body. It was kind of just a head...

I know you will.

Indeed. Even if you wouldn't want it, people have grown close to you and would wish for you to live. You are not that forgotten orphan in your memories but someone that is cared for.

... How odd. And it was able to tear off your leg? I wonder how...

[Here come the tears.]

I’m so glad...all I ever wanted was people to be close to...

Yes.

Some part of me, deep down, feels like there’s more to it, but I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

For now I just want to try and live a good life.

And you have that now.
People have come to feel close to you, because you allowed yourself to be honest with them.
You needn't worry anymore about annoying others, or being a nuisance.

I would also like you to focus on living a good life.
Chasing after terrifying and unsettling feelings -- I don't think that will lead to any place you wish to go, Atsushi.

Thank you, again.

I agree.

Let’s do our best to live in the here and now.

Edited 2018-03-02 22:38 (UTC)

You're welcome, Atsushi.

Indeed.
I may not be able to offer any comfort about what memories you will receive.
But I can give some about what you will have now in this city.
And there is much more you can experience.
Such is what life is, right?
Doing one's best in the now.

Definitely. I think we all need to be reminded of that sometimes.

Oh, um

I’ve been saving the money you gave me

I’m not sure what to spend it on

Yourself.
Obviously.

Well yes but

I meant clothes, or food, or whatever

I’d feel kind of bad if I blew it all on books or video games or something

Can I ask why?

Well

Isn’t that kind of irresponsible?

Of course, it is.
But who cares?
I gave it to you to use as you please.
If you wish to use it irresponsibly, do so.
I won't be upset however you use it.
So what reason is there to worry?

I guess you’re right...

Everyone should treat themselves sometime, right?

Maybe I’ll buy some new clothes with it.

That's right.
You've also been working very hard in all things.
I think a little irresponsibility would be good for you.

(no subject)

beneathmoonlight - 2018-03-05 01:58 (UTC) - Expand

livingimpaired - 2018-03-05 01:58 (UTC) - Expand