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Whoa...the post settings from the admin accounts are really different than the normal accounts.

I'm sure you're expecting Jo or Maury or one of the others but those are all people who are way smarter and way more qualified than me, and those people are working overtime to trace down a signal we keep picking up on. Not sure what it means yet, but I'm hoping for the best. We thought we were able to isolate the problem when the other regions appeared on the current layer but it's something deeper.

But hey, isn't that what we're all trying to do here? Hope for the best.

Call me curious, but what's your favorite color? I've been teaching myself color theory lately. Bonus points if you say "why", too.

Zee Carlisle
Hiring Manager
Retr

spec Incorporated

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[Lillian couldn't help but smile at that, finally looking over at Anna again.]

Had an inklin', yeah.

[Another squeeze of her hand.]

It does suck. I'm just...tryin' not to dwell on it. Angela was and it almost broke her. You gotta...

[She hesitated, then her smile turned a bit rueful.]

If I start spoutin' advice, you ain't gonna get all insulted right?

[she smirked, but only barely. Anna always was more transparent than she let herself believe.]

Not now that you warned me. Go for it.

[she made a mental note to keep an eye out for the name Angela Aust, while they were at it. maybe when she was in a better mood.]

Hah. So it's like...

[Lillian trailed off, gathering her thoughts.]

I've spent half my life knowing I was dyin'. That makin' it to twenty would be a struggle and twenty-five would be impossible. At first it was...so much. I was just this useless angry teenager furious at the whole world for doin' this to me.

[She pursed her lips, frustrated at the memory of herself.]

I wasted a lotta time like that. But finally...I realized that you have to...to find what you can. Right now. Let's say I'll be dead next week, right? That means I gotta live every day from now till then getting all the joy and excitement and happiness and sadness and heartbreak and love...all of it. Every bit of it I can.

[She knew it sounded ridiculous, sappy and ridiculous, but it ahd gotten her through.]

'Cause if I ain't, I might as well just be dead right now.

[it was sappy, but it sure as hell wasn't ridiculous. it made sense with everything she'd heard over the course of this conversation. and with what she'd heard someone else tell her recently. a lot of people in her life seemed to have that kind of philosophy, and that was... troubling. but she listened, and she nodded along, and once again she bit her tongue about the idea that robots don't have diseases and if she really was going to turn into one then her entire life philosophy was moot.]

A lot of people are saying that. Just to enjoy the stuff I can do as a human before I turn into a robot and can't do it anymore. Just 'cause it's a different kind of timer doesn't make it less of a timer.

Makes a lot of sense. It's probably easier for you, though. No offense or anything, but you've known about your whole situation for a while. You've had time to change your life and make sure that you don't have any regrets chasing you. [she's not proud of herself for what she's saying, really, but she's saying it anyway.]

I've known about the robot thing for a week at best, and I've got eight years of regrets that aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

[Lillian nodded at that.]

Yeah, it takes time. It took me years, but I'm thinkin' you ain't got that much. [A little sigh.]

Just...I'm here for you, as you figure it out, alright? Assumin' you're here for me too. [This last bit was said with some teasing, a little smile back on her face.]

And I'd like to think we ain't really able to offend each other this far into a conversation like this.

[that'd be nice, not worrying about offending Lillian. but even with as brash and confident as Anna was with her words, she doubted a fair amount that anyone would take kindly to the kind of thing that she wanted to say right now. and she liked Lillian's company, so she'd just. keep that one inside her for the moment, until time bore her out.]

I ain't going anywhere. Can't promise I'll be half as much as help as your sister or whoever else, but I'm not gonna get so depressed that I cut myself off from everyone. [hell of a promise, but she felt like keeping it more and more lately.]

Might go radio silent for a bit depending on what hits me when, but it's not gonna be a permanent thing. Fuckin' wild thinking I have a support network here that would get worried about me if I did.

[Lillian laughed again.]

Oh how insane, people care about you. So unbelievable.

[A bit of dry sarcasm, even as her attention flicked away.]

But yeah, take your time. You disappear too long and I'll come knockin' though, just to check on you.

[Hm.]

[yeah. that was how things like this tended to work, she noticed. and she appreciated it, but she also felt something change in Lillian's tone and tried shifting the conversation back to her.]

Yeah, same. I'm not gonna ignore you. Especially now that you told me all that stuff, and I'm kind of getting the idea you keep that a secret.

[it would be massively shitty of her to learn something that personal about Lillian and just ignore her, after all. that wasn't the kind of person she was.]

It ain't a secret. But it ain't really...out there either, ya know?

[Lillian couldn't predict her coughing fits enough to keep being sick a genuine secret. She just...didn't talk about it unless she felt someone should know, or it came up.]

So thanks. [Hm. This conversation had gotten awfully dark, hadn't it. Even if Anna seemed a little...brighter? But not really.]

Hey, you ever been skydiving?

[Why yes that did seem to be a really random question.]

[uh, okay. weird segue, and she got the "n—" out before taking the time to actually think about it. and her actual, truthful answer took her by surprise.]

Yeah, kind of. Last month, with the wings. A friend of mine chased a bull statue off the side of Respatrum and she... couldn't fly. So I had to catch up with her.

[she thought about Freya and how absolutely batshit that entire endeavor had been, and even with the mixed feelings about the fire spirits, a weird sort of prideful grin made its way to her face.]

Of course, she didn't tell me she could summon a dragon until we were already in its talons.

[Lillian's eyes got a bit wide at that story, and she couldn't help but chuckle at the end.]

People do like to spring their powers on others, don't they?

[She'd had that happen a couple times now.]

Good for you though, divin' after somebody. Even with wings not everyone would've done that.

[Hm.]

But that's not really skydiving.

I know it's not really the same. You about to suggest we should go skydiving together?

[she gave Lillian another knowing smirk, quietly pleased with herself for being able to tell an engaging story. she thought she understood this other woman at least a little well by now, which was why she followed that with another question instead of something smart.]

Have you done it before?

I am. [Lillian grinned, seemingly not minding being obvious at all.]

And yeah, I've gone twice. It's...it's honestly absolutely amazing. [A beat.] And terrifying the first time. But amazin'..

Of course it's terrifying the first time.

[but really, she felt like she had a good idea of the experience. that whole thing with Freya could have broken very badly because there was absolutely no way she'd had enough strength to lift two of them. she felt the fear of death a few times last month and only thought it was exhilarating.]

I might be willing to do it without wings holding me up. We'll see.

[Lillian grinned.] Good. Cause I'll definitely go again pretty much whenever anyone wants to, so.

[She shifted a bit, turning them down another path, gently tugging Anna by the hand she was still holding.]

I guess it's 'cause of the whole, you know, sick thing...but I've always been lookin' for stuff like that to do. Thrill stuff, I mean. Guess I'm kinda a junky for it now.

[Lillian would've had very few problems leading Anna where she wanted to take her right now, wherever it was. even if this was just a walk in the park that had gotten a little serious.]

Makes sense to me. Adrenaline's way healthier for you than cigarettes. [and as she thought about that, she crossed another person off her mental list of "people it's okay to smoke near". getting smaller by the day.]

Someone from my high school was from Boston and she did all kinds of crazy shit. That city must do stuff to people. [yeah, she'd let herself smirk at that.] Can't imagine what it's like.

[Best Lillian wasn't the sort to take advantage of it.]

Well, until it catches up to you. [Lillian smirked.] Smoking will kill you eventually, but parachute doesn't open and that's all she wrote.

[She laughed at that, a little bounce in her step, their arms swinging between them.]

It can be pretty dull there, so that's probably it. Gotta find somethin' fun to do.

[well, that was a... bright reaction to what she'd just said. then again, for someone like Lillian, maybe it made morbid jokes a little easier to swallow. Anna wasn't exactly into the arm-swinging, but she wasn't going to stop it from happening.]

Sure. And now we live here and we never have to worry about a dull moment ever again. [god, she wished she believed that, even if it was steeped in as much sarcasm as she could manage.]

Christ. Sorry, I think it just hit me again how fast I got used to all this. Even just us being friends and talking like this about a ton of serious shit.

Nah, don't worry about it. I mean, everything is different now. I've always been a fast friend maker but...everything goin' on, the monsters and layers and who knows what else...

[The arm swinging stopped as she shrugged.]

It makes us more desperate for connections, I think. Kinda like how quickly people make friends in hospitals. Shared suffering.

Ha, yeah. That sure as hell is what we're going through.

[she'd never been hospitalized, fortunately, but it made sense. people who knew they had limited time, one way or another. of course they'd get closer faster.]

Hope your sister takes to it the same way. I'm gonna DM her when I have the energy for it. Not to take the focus off you or anything. [said, of course, in the driest tone imaginable.]

Nah, that's a good idea. [Lillian smiled.] Angela needs more friends, ya know? She's very...Mm.

Reserved.

[Lillian laughed.]

Hey! I don't always gotta be the center of attention, ya know.

[Yes she did.]

[OOC: I am sorry for how late this is, life has been very uncooperative the last two weeks. If this is too late to respond to, that's fine!]

Must not run in the family. [she gave Lil a reserved grin. sisters could be so different from one another. not that she'd know herself.]

Sure you don't. That why you wanted me to come out here and talk to you in person? [come on, Anna, you know that's not it. her expression faltered and her tone slipped back towards something softer, away from the sarcasm that tinged most words she spoke.]

I appreciate it. Thanks. [the weight of her slowly drying hair reminded her what she'd forced herself to do before she'd come out here.] I needed a reason to feel like a person again.

((no worries, you're good!!))

Maybe I just wanted you to come out here and talk to me in person because I needed some eye candy on my walk, huh? Ever think of that?

[Lillian laughed, then nodded.]

Hey, sure. Glad it helped. Also, glad you don't smell.

Then get a mirror, you nerd.

[but she laughed, too, glad for the tension to have been shattered over the course of this conversation. she really appreciated Lillian.]

Dude, I live in glorified dorms. Someone's gotta be the showering role model for the building. I show my face in public without showering and it's chaos.

But I don't need a mirror if I convince you to come out here.

[Lillian wrinkled her nose at that.]

Ugh, yeah, I remember the dorms...not my favorite thing. Glad I have an apartment now. [Hm. Don't be too flirty, don't be too flirty...]

Bet a lot of people want to wash your back though, huh?

[Damn it.]