text | with regards to the lie of yuri's angels (dated morning march 10th)

[catsudon]

Two questions for Beta Squad.

1. Have you had Retrospec deliver anything to you that didn't feel like it was yours?
   
   
2. Has anyone tried returning things to Retrospec?

For the record, if you received anything that had a tag of Yuri's Angels attached, no, I didn't send it, no, I don't want it, no, I'm not a spy, no, I don't have a fanclub, no, it isn't a freaking religious affiliation and no, I don't have a secret admirer at Retrospec anymore than I have an explanation for why this happened.

Anyone who feels like trying a return lmk.

Edit: Anyone else named Yuri please contact me ASAP, tyvm.

Comments

[redarm]

about a week and a half.
why?

[catsudon]

'cause ive been on this since the end of January
not that it went live until the first of Feb but its just weird
did you just get pinged one day by a new download?

can you switch your profile photo

[redarm]

yeah. i just got this phone and the next day this fucking app had downloaded onto my phone.
but no. i cant.

[catsudon]

huh
i mean i can now but i couldn't all of Feb so maybe that'll change for you too, i'll ask in april
on the 2nd or so

( b/c screw april fools )

did you remember about horses right away ooorrrrr

[redarm]

you can after a month?
thats rubbish. like oh, you havent smashed your phone yet thanks to our app.
have the ability to switch to a not shitty picture of yourself.

i think it was right away.
maybe.
someone had to ask me to make me think about it
i dont exactly spend all my time thinking about horses or chocobos.

[catsudon]

won't matter, the app stalks you across everything
just in case you haven't noticed that yet
even public computers, you'll find it on any computer you touch
any tablet
any device
with or without power
with or without connectivity
Retrospec
The Only App You'll Never Get To Choose To Leave

yeah well that only got weird on Founders Day but
most people probably dont think a lot on those things
i never would have if i hadnt you know
been expecting a pony ride to exist and got giant chicken-emus instead

[redarm]

ive noticed that.
and it makes creepy videos about your past.
posts it all over the internet.
really hate this thing.

right i get you.
weird thing is i totally remember thinking chocobos were normal
like i didnt question them on tv or anything.
then I got the app and suddenly it as like oh right
this is fucking weird.

[catsudon]

i'm trying to forget about that part
it was almost working

that's... i didn't know that. so you remember thinking it was normal and then now, knowing it isn't.
i mean i guess that shows things weren't changed for you until recently?
or else you'd have realised then always gone "oh right horses are normal not chocobos."
so however this is working it has a starting point, i guess?
it doesn't rewrite everything you know

[redarm]

sorry.

yeah i mean looking back now
i remember seeing horses when I was a kid and all that shit.
but then for like a month i also remember thinking
no those were chocobos i saw as a kid
and the chocobos on tv and shit have always been there.
but now i know theyre werent always there.
somethings changed.
i mean, unless chocobos have always been here
and were the ones losing it.

[catsudon]

w/e, it's nbd.

( because his secrets weren't playing now, and that's what matters. he sighs, looking at his phone as class starts. )

what you're saying actually seems more like we're the ones who're remembering what everyone else lost.
not that it makes more sense that way.
but the whole "are we the craziest ones" doesn't matter either way.
this is still our reality, right?
we all agree that this shit has happened and is happening.
we're in the same boat for that if nothing else.

[redarm]

yeah guess so.
same boat of making us question reality.
that's comforting maybe.

hey have you have had those weird visions yet?

[catsudon]

the hallucinomemories or w/e?

yeah, though... more like really vivid dreams
i think that's what they are
the memory/visions
they dont make sense as dreams they're too real
i remember them too well

[redarm]

the hallucin- what?
thats the stupidiest fucking term ive ever heard.
who came up with that?

but yeah.
that sounds like what i had.
fucking great.

meanwhile me: looking this up to answer

[catsudon]

Dirk Strider.

yeah, well.
can't say they get better or worse, but they'll keep happening.
if you're real lucky, there might be physical changes too, like i've said, but idk.
did you see yourself in your HM?

sdflkjds sorry bro

[redarm]

hm. dont know him.

[Still stupid]

like hair colour changing?
i saw that happen to anya.
and...i dunno.
i saw from someones point of view.
and i heard a voice that sounded like mine
but it their hands were different from mine.

laughs it's all good, yuri would just Care

[catsudon]

yeah well
you might hear him around idk

mm, yeah, like with nas-- anya
eyes have changed too
i... dont know if that means you might want to be prepared just in case
i dont know if itd do a whole arm or two hands but
at this rate i wouldnt say its impossible

[redarm]

[There's a pause on Noah's end. Since uh yeah, that really didn't cross his mind as a possibility.]

thats
shit.
if they start adding limbs to people.
thatd be really fucked up.

[catsudon]

( we're all sorry that Yuri is apparently on a body horror kick )

ikr?
anyway not saying itll happen just
things are weird and i wonder how weird theyll get
some guy has flower petals poofing around him for some reason
who knows why but thats definitely new with retrospec

[redarm]

[It's okay Yuri you'll get to see lots of body horror if you hang around Noah. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ]

....flower petals?
the fuck?

[Yuri can't see it, but good job you actually made the guy choke some laughs]

[catsudon]

( OH JOYOUS DAY

though Yuri contemplates mentioning how the petals tasted but that, he figures, will sound weird out of context, and so Noah doesn't get to hear about the magical poprock flower petals that fizzle-pop-melt-disappear in your mouth. Look. Actual discretion. For once. )

ikr?
talk about hilariously dramatic
at least its pretty?

[redarm]

[ good call because my god yuri why are you eating another man's flower petals YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY'VE BEEN ]

shit man.
thats hilarious
i know a guy who got super strength suddenly but shit
flower petals?
move over we found the new lamest z-guy.*

[*x-men, of course]

[catsudon]

( oddly enough that was the same complain Kiyomitsu had and they were his cherry petals

(insert joke here)

(or don't)

(OR DON'T DEAR STARS) )

he'll be great for weddings and parties tbh

[redarm]

good point.
hope he likes wedding planning.

[catsudon]

he's the new top candidate for permanent flowergirl ig

[redarm]

wow. what a destiny.