text | with regards to the lie of yuri's angels (dated morning march 10th)

[catsudon]

Two questions for Beta Squad.

1. Have you had Retrospec deliver anything to you that didn't feel like it was yours?
   
   
2. Has anyone tried returning things to Retrospec?

For the record, if you received anything that had a tag of Yuri's Angels attached, no, I didn't send it, no, I don't want it, no, I'm not a spy, no, I don't have a fanclub, no, it isn't a freaking religious affiliation and no, I don't have a secret admirer at Retrospec anymore than I have an explanation for why this happened.

Anyone who feels like trying a return lmk.

Edit: Anyone else named Yuri please contact me ASAP, tyvm.

Comments

[parodeity]

correction anya and i are definitely starting a chapter of yuris angels
co presidents

[catsudon]

dave no

[furtherforward]

Yuri's Angels??? this sounds PRETTY suspicious. only somebody with something to hide would try so hard to deflect suspicion.......

what kind of "anything" are we talking, here?

[catsudon]

the small, stuffed, and feline themed kind afaik. think plushies.

[redarm]

if its not a fanclub or a religious thing, then what the fuck is it?

[catsudon]

confusing as hell? idk, it's not like the plushies are saying anything. this is all on whatever retrospec was thinking.

[complementing]

I got a dog in the mail from Retrospec

he definitely wasn't/isn't mine but my roommates and I adopted him anyway

[catsudon]

wait, explain. did retrospec send you a live animal through the mail?

[true_noir]

Wait, you have a fan-club? I wish to join these Yuri's Angels, immediately. [Because she was in the mood to torture someone mildly just to feel better.]

And yes, I did receive something in the mail. I did not think it was mine, but there may be a connection. I am not sure. It depends on if this vision is real or not.

[catsudon]

Ha-ha, really funny. Denied.

( there is no yuri's angels in recolle; he doesn't even remember there's ever been one, though at this rate... )

Okay, but you're saying whatever it was, it might relate to one of the hallucinomemories people have been having? Not a dream or anything.

[darkinferno]

beta squad







actually you know what no

i like it

so what's the name for everyone as a whole? the "secret horse conspiracy club?"

[He's laughing. But hey, it is a good way to separate those of them that were here last month from the newcomers!]

[catsudon]

( first things first HE'S REALLY IRRITATED DANTE AGREES THAT IT WORKS AND WANTS TO SAY NO FUCK IT, NOT BETA SQUAD but he also has no other idea how to illustrate what he means so

aside from glaring at his phone he gets to typing. )

beta squad grows everytime we get new app users ig, its a rolling system

and sure why not it's as ridiculous as this whole thing

[constellates]

i cannot wait for the first meeting of yuri's angels

i do not want to give back my cat doll
it is very cute and matches with dave
yuratchka you need one

[catsudon]

i can wait
i can wait forever

nastenka i dont want your cat doll its yours
and no i dont need one
miwa and sorey already have theirs to me its too many

[5kotai]

i don't know if was pure coincidence, but i love tigers a lot and it's a cute plush tiger.

can i keep it?

[catsudon]

huh
yeah keep it i dont want it but you make a good point
i wonder if anyone else felt like theirs was themed to appeal to them

[frostythehitman]

Wait, they're delivering stuff to us now? Like, physical stuff to our real-life addresses?

That's not concerning at all.

[catsudon]

Yeah. Real life deliveries, to our real life addresses, which I really know I never put on this app. Though I don't know what that matters since I haven't been sent anything, but that's at least what. Ten people who got freaking cat toys and then the other people talking about jewelry or dancing fruit or w/e else they were sent from Retrospec to their homes.

Like the whole app hopping across platforms wasn't concerning enough? Yeah, now the company's getting more obvious that they're screwing around with our lives.

[loudmouths]

all that denial doesn't look suspicious at all

[catsudon]

oh for fucks sake

yes you're right. i am actually a spy sent by Retrospec who was installed here over a year before we rolled live. my cover as a dancer is flawless. that i'm fucking fantastic is incidental i'm just a natural talent that's not years of practice and devotion. i sent out plushies with the coordinated assistance of my in-house fan-club, who believe my amazing spy talents and also spontaneous dancing ability is pretty cool. you can find the shrine to me at the corner of market and 3rd, all donations are appreciated, addressed to "our lord and saviour Yura." you can even be third tier follower if you sign up now for the starting rate of shut-the-hell-up and be-serious-for-five-minutes-goddammit.

[tarotcards]

And I was going to thank you for the cute cat I got in the mail.





I'm still going to call you my guardian angel.

[catsudon]

I'm still trying to figure out if you secretly hate your cousin or something.

Wait, what the hell, you got one of these things too? How many of these freaking cats did Retrospec send out?!

( 20, but they're not all accounted for, so the mystery persists. )

[wordcarvings]

I was wondering about this Yuri's Angels thing I got. I couldn't find anything when I searched for it on the internet. Have you heard a lot about it?

[catsudon]

Until people started asking me about it I'd never heard a word about "Yuri's Angels" before. I wouldn't have guessed it had anything to do with me, but apparently, either there's a joke where I'm the punchline or a bunch of people I do and don't know got shafted with a random cat plushie claiming to be from this group no one's heard of in the first place!

[strongestheart]

Just memories that freak both me and the people around me out.

Sadly can't mail those back, but I think I might burn my mailbox in advance just to be safe.

[catsudon]

The memories are a whole different weird thing, yeah.

You still have an address. People don't need a mailbox for packages, do they?

[rednerd]

Well, nothing was inside of them, at least.
Why would someone send something with your name attached?

[catsudon]

Okay, what do you mean "nothing was inside of them, at least?"
No idea. My leading theory is Retrospec is finding new ways to mess around with us. I mean, I did use their freaking app because of this, but where else was I going to ask?

[fancisco]

this explains SO much.

[catsudon]

oh come on, you too?