plurk told me I should shitpost

[thesettingsun]

Did everybody else get pictures of themselves in the mail today? Mine said Alpha, did anyone get Beta or Omega?

Please tell me no one got Omega.

Comments

[clothes]

Mine said Omega With Alpha Ambitions. I don't understand.

[thesettingsun]

...That's more information than I really wanted about you, but I can see it.

[clothes]

What is that supposed to mean? I'm the type who would overthrow the Alpha and claim his place in the pack?

[thesettingsun]

That is really, definitely not the trope I'm thinking of, but I don't want you to Google it in case you end up finding it in RPF of yourself.

[clothes]

What. Explain this immediately. I have read many explicit things about myself, but nothing ever involving wolves. If you don't tell me, I will research it myself and hold you accountable for the results.

[thesettingsun]

OKAY DON'T GOOGLE IT I'M WRITING SOMETHING UP

[thesettingsun]

[About five minutes later:]

Alpha/beta/omega, often shortened to ABO, is a trope most frequently found in fanfiction involving humans having a sexual hierarchy, with alphas at the top and omegas at the bottom. The exact traits involved vary by author, but most often include omegas going into heat and needing to be 'claimed' by an alpha, breeding (including male omegas being able to get pregnant), knotting, self-lubricating, and other features that are useful for a porn fic but definitely not something I want to see in real life.

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[clothes]

[ huh, okay... fanfiction-- not surprising, since he doesn't really have time to dabble in fandom things besides twitter--- having a se





]

2/7

[clothes]

[ bottom........claiming........breeding.........pregnant................... ]

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[clothes]

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[clothes]

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[clothes]

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[clothes]

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[clothes]

 


 

 


 

So, what about me seems even remotely omega-like? I am someone impossible to claim. If anything, *I* should be an alpha. I would never allow myself to remain in the bottommost rung of society.

[ he's so fucking stupid ]

[thesettingsun]

[what even was that in the middle]

I don't know?? The entire concept of the hierarchy is stupid.

If I had to I'd say you seem like someone who stresses himself out too much and might enjoy giving someone the reins for a bit? Keyword being let.

1/2

[clothes]

[ the universe making its way through his mind ]

That makes no sense. Aside from the fact I would never do such a thing, that would also involve me becoming pregnant. There is nothing relaxing about being pregnant. I hate this.

2/2

[clothes]

[ he's about to lose his fucking mind when he comes back a few minutes later. ]

I received another picture. This one has basic information about my stay here, and says 'beta'. Is this some sort of joke?

[thesettingsun]

Do your fans ever send you weird stuff? With exceptionally bad timing?

[clothes]

Yes, but it's more common online.

[ oh......... akutagawa understands now....... fuck his life. ]

I hate today.

[thesettingsun]

Do you want me to walk over with some wine? At this point I think no one would judge you for it.

[clothes]

Oh? You don't mind I'm still a few months underage?

[ 8 months is totally a few months, ok... ]

[thesettingsun]

If you drive while intoxicated I will hit you with the flat of my scythe. As long as you don't do something stupid like that, I don't mind.

[clothes]

Of course I would never do anything so idiotic. I intend only to stay indoors and play Alphabears.

[thesettingsun]

I figured. PM me your address and I'll bring you some wine.