TEXT (posted by Kazuki Oogami)

[roughplayer]

Thanks Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, for suggesting Retrospec wouldn't do something as stupid as switching people's bodies, and on their useless monthly post no less. They did the stupid thing.



For reference, here's a dumb photo our uncle took to justify mixing us up. I'm the one on the left (Kazuki), but I woke up in the fancy apartment and body of the guy on the right (Mizuki).

⬅ Selfie I took way too early in the morning.

This app also knows who I am despite this, and that's really creepy, more than Mizuki's modelling agency not noticing a thing. Is he always in a bad mood going into work?

Comments

[thesettingsun]

A better question is 'is he ever not in a bad mood'?

[unlightmusic]

oh fuck i was wondering why i thought i saw u before

but yeah from what ive seen
senabu~'s always in a shit ass diva mood
so i wouldnt be surprised if hes like that at work too

at least you dont have to get used to having different equipment
so count ur fucking blessings i guess

[clothes]

[ FUCK YOU KAZUKI!!!!!!!! putting him on blast like this?! the audacity........ this... this isn't his fault...!!! (right?) ] It's not like I did it deliberately. How was I supposed to know this was their plan? I refuse to believe they were combing the post, looking for cursed suggestions. This is merely a coincidence. And there are far worse people to trade bodies with. At least you aren't an animal, or a literal child. If only we were all so blessed as to be models, or singers, or athletes. I can hardly stand the sound of my own voice.

[roughplayer]

I don't think I can answer that, we're half-brothers. If anything, he's nicer to me out of obligation or guilt.

[roughplayer]

Yeah, we look really alike for not even sharing a mom, just a shitty dad.

DON'T SAY THAT. I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP IN A GIRL'S BODY.

[roughplayer]

Coincidence or not, you're the one who said it and really didn't want it. Even if I didn't make this post, you'd feel kinda screwed, wouldn't you?

I want to say they're uncreative for switching zucchinis, but I guess I should be okay with it until Mizuki starts bitching. I learned that if I try and sound nice as Mizuki, his already nasally voice gets higher and creepy. Maybe this is why he keeps up a tone of condescension.

[akatatai]

Mizuki's had a not-twin all this time... you really do look alike!

Honestly though
If you weren't related, I'd be scared for your life
He seems like he'd skin anyone who ruined his image (or diet)

You have to give us an inside look into the secret life of Mizuki Sena!

[compendiem]

Is it really that bad...? You could just do your own thing, instead of doing Mizuki's modeling thing.

[fiddlestick]

Wow... I don't know whether to be relieved or worried that this happened to more people than just me.

[clothes]

[ ...goddamnit, he's not wrong. akutagawa does feel like a total boner for saying what he said. but still!!! it's not!! his fault!!!! ] Even so, not everyone needs to know I was the one who mentioned it on their post. People are foolish, especially here on Retrospec. I won't be surprised if someone genuinely thinks I had a hand in this. I have always found his tone and attitude fine. Are you sure you aren't just oversensitive?

[roughplayer]

[ It ain't, Kazuki's not that dumb. But also, fuck you too, Akutagawa. He is sensitive... ] Those kind of people will forget in a day or two, I'm just keeping to my word. Are you sure you're just not on a matching wavelength with him? That's fortunate for you both.

[roughplayer]

If we had more mutuals who cared or found it crazy, I bet we'd get it a lot. It would be get annoying as fuck real fast. Do I have to share? It's lonely and kind of dull so far. The most fun I had today was trying to follow these recipes he has for meals because I don't want his body to rebel on me. Just yet.

[roughplayer]

It wasn't that bad. I just wanted to try, 'cause curiosity is a bitch sometimes.

[roughplayer]

I think we found our monthly dose of Retrospec bullshit.

[fiddlestick]

Yeah.... I don't like the idea of this going on all month though. I'd like to have my body back.

[compendiem]

Can you try... smiling? For the camera?

[ please, he's curious to see what a smiling Mizuki face looks like ]

[akatatai]

No, uh... Sorry, I was mostly kidding about that part

Mizuki seems really strict on himself, so it sounds like he'd be a difficult person to switch with
Not that any of us really planned any of these switches in the first place, but you know what I mean

[windeity]

look on the bright side. at least you guys kind of look alike instead of some of the other bullshit swaps going around.

[unlightmusic]

dude you better fuckin ANTICIPATE do u even know what the fuck i have to deal with check it [She uploads a selfie... except that selfie is one (1) Makoto Yuuki giving the middle finger to the camera. What a terrifying and cursed image. Somewhere out there, at least two men are clenching their chests and crying.] and this is the second goddamn time i gotta deal with this shit

[idolworship]

i think micchan is always in a bad mood
work or no
or, at least,
he pretends to be
on that note
can you send a selfie of him smiling?
i'm curious if his muscles work that way
or if his face might like
shatter
like porcelain

[idolworship]

akkun
are you an animal or literal child right now
please
turn on your location
you've got to let me pick you up

[roughplayer]

They've really kicked it up a notch on how to be real fucking inconvenient for sure. I didn't know that about him. but it makes sense... I should clean up his walk-in closet, actually. That was way too many clothes to go through, but I guess I'm like a guest... Borrowing a lot of shit.

[roughplayer]

You're in luck, there was a cat on the set for a shoot.

[clothes]

Yes, I am a literal child right now. No, I will not turn my location on. I may have the form of a little girl, but I am still an adult man. I don't need you of all people trying to take care of me. [ yeah the fuck right, he can't reach anything and no one listens to him, he needs an adult. ]

[idolworship]

it's fine i won't treat you like a child
i'll treat you to big boy food and reassure you of your elderly age
just also while i'm carrying you

( HE LOVES SMALL THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!! )