retrospec | (no subject)

Posting from this network, you'd probably assume I got my job back. Hey users. For those of you who're new, my name is Zee. Sorry to say it, but you've been pulled into the Retrospec project now. Not sure what that is? Get someone else to explain it to you, there're plenty of people who've been around for way longer than deserved.

So…you'd probably assume I got my job back, and I kind of did. I kind of did, but there's a funny little thing about Retrospec and memories. Let me tell you a brief story.

Once upon a time, there were the four founders who came to this planet, founded the city of Recollé and started the Retrospec project. Yeah. Another planet. They're technically aliens, I might technically be an alien, some of YOU might be aliens, it's hard to say. So anyway you have the four founders: Spinnato, Cavendish, Mahoney and Vanderweele. These four created an ideal project to protect life on other planets, offer inhabitants a safe haven to recover from tragic events of their world that were being destroyed (as planets are wont to do) and "regrow" the place you once called home. The problem is that the four of them weren't entirely in agreement on what sort of people should be "worthy" of being saved, or who should be able to become part of the Retrospec project to preserve their souls and recreate what was lost. Souls are a tricky thing. I should know, given I think mine was floating around in the endless abyss for a few months while my body regenerated.

There was such a controversy amongst the founders that one of them, Vanderweele, ended up wiping out an entire family line. There are relatives left from the Spinnato family. Cavendish and Mahoney decided to spearhead the project themselves and sentenced Vanderweele to life in solitary confinement. Once that happened, they began changing how the project was one. They hired some of their own family members. They changed and became the "new" Retrospec.

Vanderweele's not dead though. And as a master of illusion, you can guess where this story is going. I'm not going to do this vague and hiding bullshit that the company's fond of: Vanderweele is out there and meddling with the affairs of this city to overthrow and regain control of the project. All of these weird storms that are happening, the things that mess with your soul? That's Vanderweele's work.

So why am I telling you this?

…Vanderweele got to Retrospec. A lot of you asked if Retrospec knew I was alive again and at the time I didn't know if they did or not, so when I got back to this layer (thank you, by the way. All of you.), I went to headquarters. Everyone inside doesn't even seem to remember that they were working on the project. I don't know WHAT he did, but their memories…everything's scrambled. The entire tech department resigned and I'm not sure if Maurice thinks he's working in a normal mailroom or what. They're almost on the same layer that you guys are before you wake up. Or that's how it seems anyway.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like it's just you and me.

We need to start moving and putting a stop to this to fix everything. I'm not saying you have to. If you want to sit this one out, fine, but I have a feeling most of you want to do something about this. Bring people back to themselves. That kind of thing. You're all pretty stubborn from what I've noticed and that's the good thing.

There are some things I need to check. I'm learning how everything works here and I'm trying to understand all of their notes, not to mention I need to retrieve a few things and wait for a field agent but you'll hear from me soon. I have an idea, but these things take time.

Stick together. Talk to each other. Keep focused.

Oh. I guess also I should mention I moved offices? I'll be staying at headquarters for a while but my remote office is easier to access. Head to the public library, you should be set to get past the scanners on the back of the building and the door will appear for you. I'll be reachable by text, too.

Good luck. Be in touch soon.

Zee Carlisle
Hiring Manager
Retr

spec Incorporated

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Looking back at what I've done, anyone could objectively say that I am a bad person. That's just a fact, and not one I disagree with... but if I am to get upset, then other people get afraid of me or tell me it's wrong for me to feel that way, possibly because they are afraid I will do more bad things. They're more concerned about making themselves feel better about doing the right thing and suppressing any negativity from others, because it might threaten their stupid, boring, goodie two shoes life. There always has to be a bad guy, and most will go at lengths to make sure they aren't the ones... but I don't care. I've accepted that nobody likes what I do or how I do it, but to be "upset" is a hassle when I'll have half a dozen people telling to stop or how it's wrong. I'm not upset anyway. It's everyone else that gets upset when they're around me because I'm not like them.

You bring up a valid point Malik, and I can’t tell you, you are wrong, and I will tell you why.

I do not believe in telling someone they are bad, when we all have potential. We are all human. It is hypocritical to do so, because all I need is a trigger to become “bad” myself. Therefore, you may have done bad things, but I do not think you are a bad person.

It is very easy to tell someone to stop, hm? There is still one thing I don’t understand. You say that this is simply who you are. You skipped my question on having friends, so I assume you don’t feel like you have any. Or you have very little and consider the pool too small to mention. I consider you a friend, though? So always count with me.

You still did not make it clear if you are happy in your skin.

I’m going to get a lecture either way, so you might as well say what you want.

Will you? I wasn't aware you could predict the future.

It is a special skill of mine. I am very good at it!

You should speak in riddles if you know what is to come. It'll make things seem less dull, won't it not?

Possibly, but most people are too stupid. So it would stop being fun after the first or second person.

I had a friend who could see the future. He was a sparkling blond man who gave me quite a few prophetic riddles. What did they mean! I hadn’t the slightest clue until it happened, and it helped. Yes, all those clues helped when I needed them the most.

His name was Ushiwaka, and he had tremendous fun with his riddles. Perhaps it is you who must have your own fun, and not others?

I’ll paint him for you.

I’m only interested in one sparkling blond man, and that is me.

I do agree that making my own fun is more important, however. I’m not about to keep compromising myself for the sake of another. They never return the favor. So what I want is more important!

What do you want, by the way?

To live life by my own rules, without anyone interfering to tell me no, or that it’s wrong, simply because they do not agree with me. I am the one in control now! I want to do what I please, when I please.

[ also acceptance and validation but he’ll never say it ]

Then I have a plan that could work marvelously for you.

Oh? Do tell... I will be the judge of that.

Release yourself of all material and social valuables, and begin your life of freedom from society deep in the wilderness.

I see... You would rather suggest homelessness than give an honest answer. I didn’t think you could be so deceptively cruel.

Don’t be silly, boy. I was being honest.

One who is truly free does not have a home, Malik. The world around him is the only home he needs. I regret to say you are not ready to do as you please, if a material roof above your head is what keeps you. There are men who make those with their own hands.

If you do not see that yet, then you are no man. You are a boy.

Then how about you go live outside instead, since you're so wise? I've already done so, for a period, and at the end of it all I still like having somewhere secure that is mine... Not to mention hot showers. You still want me to live by your vision of freedom, and that doesn't sound very "free" to me either! Doing as I please means exactly that. If I want to live in comfort and stability and have as many baths as I want, then that is what I want. I do not want to ascribe to anyone else's ideals, and that includes yours.

I have, for the record, and they were ten of the most magnificent years I’ve lived. But to fufill my vocation now, I cannot. I must become part of society, and that is the decision I’ve made.

The difference between my ideals and yours is that yours will kill you. You will never be free, you will never have a home, you will never earn validation and you will never feel love if you are not willing to unfold for it.

That is why nothing comes easy to us. And when it does, it drips from our fingers just as easily.

You sound just like everyone else! The same people who could justify their reasoning that I was a bad kid, that I deserved to be moved around every couple of months, and nothing would change and I was a lost cause. Expecting something as basic as stability and control over my own life hardly seems like that much to ask for after all of that! Other kids had it, but me? Oh no, asking for that is too much. Too unrealistic. And you're just like them, dictating how I need to live my life when you know nothing about me, but you don't even care, because you've gotten up on your high horse about how you're right and you know everything so clearly I can't possibly know what I want! Not after 13 years of hearing this exact thing over, and over, and over again. I don't want your unsolicited life advice. I don't want your lectures, or your help, or anything since you're incapable of doing anything else other than trying to control how I feel about anything!!!!

I believe it is you who is saying that about yourself, Malik. I never typed any of that, now did I? But I have said enough for today. Your mind is already tremoring like a storm, I can feel it from here.

We do not unfold overnight, but we do so with the right amount of care, flexibility and patience. We will speak again soon. It is getting late.

Edited 2019-02-24 18:29 (UTC)

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