retrospec | (no subject)

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(no subject)

So here's the thing…

We have a lot of work left to do. Those of you who ventured down below got a taste of what we're looking at and hopefully that means we can make better preparations. I'm working on opening a new portal based on your energy readings and getting it to stabilize itself so you aren't stuck down there longer than you have to be. May take a few days, but I'm hoping to get a map drawn up, too.

How many of you have been out to Magatus? You might wanna compare notes…the influence started spreading even further. It's better to bring everything and everyone out there back to the city where we can put up forcefields and I can monitor from here.

So what am I saying? I need two teams, a rescue team and an exploration team. Take some time to decide, figure out your skills, organize and arm yourselves. Assignments will go out when you're ready, and when I'm ready.

Oh yeah…and if you're interested in working for me directly? Send me your résumé.

Zee Carlisle
Hiring Manager
Retr

spec Incorporated

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If anything, it may prove valuable. I'm not taking a side in this, myself, but there certainly are a large number on the side of "complain loudly but do as we're told anyway."

Sometimes we need those who are going to be able to say "I told you so" later.

See? Is that so hard to admit? I've been saying the same thing but no one believes me. No one has any right to complain when they so willingly do as they're told.

I do admit that it seems counterproductive to do otherwise at this point, but that's more because I'm not sure how much I can rely on everyone else to come through if something goes unexpectedly.

But it isn't as though abstaining is without merit, either.

You don't need to rely on others, just on yourself! It all goes unexpectedly at some point, and the only one who is going to consistently be there is you. People leave. People don't help. More experience just makes you more prepared, anyway.

There's a difference between being self-sufficient and able to acknowledge when you can't take a threat on your own. Whether I can consistently rely on the same people isn't really the question here.

I'm not a combatant, nor am I going to be of particular use to others. The most I can do is offer what I can to the individuals - not Retrospec, but the others - and rely on them to defend me if needs be.

Alright then, what would consider to be your valuable skills? Seems pretty important to advertise them if you want to help.

If you expect much outside of "talking to people who don't have anyone else on the network and are just wanting to vent at the first person willing to listen" and "living alone and having admittedly low standards for who is permitted to stay with me for a while in a crisis", then you're going to be terribly disappointed.

I do whatever is asked or required of me. Alleviating suffering in the only ways I can. It's nothing "valuable" in that it isn't exclusive to me. Anyone can, and I'm sure several do. I'm simply willing.

I don't expect anything, I simply wanted to know.

Although I disagree with your overall sentiment of compliance. If what you say is true, and you are a neutral, but willing party, that is already different than other who try to help to keep up the appearance of being a good person to make themselves feel better. I've encountered a lot of that behavior, and while you may be... painfully ordinary, you still have a sound mind and can admit your true nature more easily than others. So that's something that other people don't have. They're so deluded, chasing their ideal self to the point of denial, because they so badly want to be accepted into 'the norm.'

If other people want to do so to make themselves feel better, or to be accepted, then that's their choice. I'd argue that the reason why doesn't matter. Kind acts will be perceived as kind until we tell people otherwise. In my case, it's an obligation - if my goal is to alleviate suffering, and my actions can lessen the amount of suffering in the world by any amount, then I'm obligated to do so.

My true nature may not be nice, or particularly altruistic. But "neutral and willing" is enough for me. That's all.

I appreciate the compliment, however. I imagine they don't come lightly from you.

I'd give out more compliments if people weren't such idiots. But you get the idea! You don't have to be nice to get ahead, and forcing yourself into the status quo is ultimately meaningless.

In any case, good to know where you stand on things. Now it's just a matter of seeing if you stick to it!

I'm curious about whether you find anything to not be ultimately meaningness. As a legitimate question, not an attempted insult.

That said, I see no reason to change where I stand on things, simply because I act based on what I believe I'm here to do. There's a difference in doing what you want and doing what's in your nature, as little as people seem to grasp that at times.

Not for me, doing what I want IS in my nature...

To answer your question, no. I haven't found anything yet to make me feel otherwise.

With regards to the meaninglessness of things, then - through a sense of nihilism, or a sense of bleakness?

The latter. The world is a cruel place, you know.

I'm aware. Kindness isn't something the world guarantees, nor is it something the world offers.

I don't think I can dry all the tears the world has to shed, you know; I simply like knowing how others see things.

I am long past seeking comfort for such things. I am well aware that things aren't fair, and have accepted my poor lot. I am not happy with it, but it's just how things are. That is how I see it.

And no one can force comfort upon you. Surely you know that as well. As it is, I don't offer anyone more than sympathy, which you've already told me is a wasted sentiment.

But even if it's a wasted sentiment, the fact remains that it's mine to waste if I so choose. Consider it part of that whole "holding firm to where I stand on things" that you seem to find so vital.

Sympathy wouldn't feel so unproductive if people kept those feelings to themselves. A lot of times, I get a lot of unsolicited and unrelatable advice, or people try to make me feel a certain way as if it'll solve my situation or make me feel better. However, by trying to force me to feel differently on someone else's terms, they just make me mad. It's unhelpful and unwanted. So you can offer as many sympathies as you want, just so long as you keep everything else to yourself. I don't care and it truly is a waste of both yours and my own time.

If all of that really is completely unwarranted and unasked for, it's not being offered to make you feel better, it's being offered to make others feel good about themselves for "helping." Or perhaps to try to force you to feel better so they don't have to deal with you feeling otherwise.

There's a definite self-centeredness to it, either way.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME...You are the first person to fully understand and not lecture me for it!

Am I...? That's frustrating, but not surprising; people don't like being told things like that, after all.

But you'll hear no lectures from me about it, either way.

For what it is worth, I appreciate it. That is not something I tell just anyone. So cherish it.

Well, then. Consider it cherished.

I'm aware that you'll do what you will, simply because that's how things are going to be. But again, seeing as I don't have anything of particular use to anyone besides a willingness to have words thrown at me, should you want to yell into a void at any point the offer is there..

I'll take that into consideration, should I need to take you up on that offer.

Although, if you are a willing to help just about anyone who asks, I have another question, unrelated to what we are discussing...

Go ahead.