retrospec | (no subject)

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(no subject)

So here's the thing…

We have a lot of work left to do. Those of you who ventured down below got a taste of what we're looking at and hopefully that means we can make better preparations. I'm working on opening a new portal based on your energy readings and getting it to stabilize itself so you aren't stuck down there longer than you have to be. May take a few days, but I'm hoping to get a map drawn up, too.

How many of you have been out to Magatus? You might wanna compare notes…the influence started spreading even further. It's better to bring everything and everyone out there back to the city where we can put up forcefields and I can monitor from here.

So what am I saying? I need two teams, a rescue team and an exploration team. Take some time to decide, figure out your skills, organize and arm yourselves. Assignments will go out when you're ready, and when I'm ready.

Oh yeah…and if you're interested in working for me directly? Send me your résumé.

Zee Carlisle
Hiring Manager
Retr

spec Incorporated

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Takes more than that to bring me down, too, but people still worry about me.

Whatever happened, it's just... more of that place messing with your head, you know? It made me forget who I was and lose myself, too. It wants to take away who we are and replace us with whatever it thinks belongs there instead. Or whatever it thinks would be fun to see us do.

I think you know this already, but's not your fault.

touche

[From this point on, though, she's going to directly text Anna to keep from potentially airing other people's dirty laundry publicly.]

sure i know that. it just that trust isn't always logical especially from someone who's already got a truck of issues with it. you know those people i mentioned that said i make them feel safe? she's one of em.

guess i just worry how she's taking it all

[Anna probably knows her well enough to guess how seriously Freya takes this safe feeling thing.]

[probably the smart idea.]

When I came back with my eye missing, she was one of the people who reached out. Gave her as much of a warning as I could about going down there, but I guess we didn't really have a choice this time.

You talk to her about it yet or are you just trying to give it some time first?

time. lucy isn't exactly the huggy-feely sort. i talk more in a given day than she does in a bloody week. lot of the time it's like having a third cat instead of a roommate

[Freya means that affectionately. She honestly, really does.]

I know the type. It's a hell of a lot to take in all at once.

God knows I still haven't finished dealing with everything from my last trip down there yet, but we're never gonna get time to unpack this shit until the war's over.

with how much we've packed up over the last two years, i'm not sure normal life'll wait for us to finish that chore

i take it you feel ready to do this eyepatch swordsmanship thing?

Fuck no I'm not ready, but I'm tired of staying out of things and letting other people get hurt instead.

have you talked to your doctor about big damn hero syndrome?

[Says the one that made herself the main course of an other-reality zombie buffet.]

[oh, bold words, Frey.]

Ha. Talked to A2 about survivor's guilt. That's the same thing, right?

sure, except survivor's guilt wants to be a death wish when it grows up big and strong. you be careful with that

Yeah. I will be. Promise.

Hope you're being careful with it, too.

ha. pretty sure if i picked one up, my last life would materialize to kick my ass if pen didn't first. fang was fighting with everything she had to pry someone out the jaws of a death wish

Good to know(?). I'm just saying, right now only one of us is actually a survivor like that.

People keep falling off the app like this and we might end up needing to expand the definition a little, though.

of what, survivor or death wish?

I mean, both. But you can't tell me that sitting around wondering why you're still allowed to be on the app when everyone you care about has to lose sight of what the world around them really is isn't some kind of survivor's guilt.

Not that it's hitting me like that yet, but, like.

or i could be glad they aren't being tortured by memories of dying young while the rest of us take care of the heavy lifting. when this is all over with we can focus on bringing them round again

not like that stuff hasn't occurred to me before, but letting it run through my head all the time isn't going to get me anywhere. hell it probably will make focusing on what we have to do harder

Yeah, I've got both of those running through my head at once. Real damn party up here.

Sorry, I'm getting in my own head way more than usual lately. I'm not about to go get myself killed trying to keep everyone else safe. Much as I fucking hate agreeing with the genocidal asshole we're all trying to kill before he gets us first, the people who still have the app are strong. We don't all need to be protected.

damn right we're strong. you too.

guess i'll see you out there in that frozen hellhole, yeah?

Oh, you couldn't pay me to keep my ass out of there. I'll bring my jacket with the fur collar just in case.

That's a joke but I'd look fucking sick as hell with one of those and we both know it.

yeah you'd look great

those things are also like style in a can if you've got an ounce of brooding in your body

Oh, I can brood like a motherfucker. Actually, I think I know someone who might have one of those I can at least try on. Maybe I'll head over to my ex(?)'s place and do a fashion show or something.

soooo does the question mark mean you talked to her about it?

It could mean that. It could mean that she said, with her voice, that she's down with trying again if I am.

What that ends up meaning, I have no fucking clue. But I don't think I even would've tried bringing the subject up without your friendly encouragement.

[Oh for the love of—woman, stop making a mess out of things.]

oh i don't know maybe you'll figure out what it means after it sinks through the first three layers of that thick skull of yours

it doesn't have to ~mean~ anything. just let it be what BE what it is. really where's all this ambiguity coming from? if that's what the girl said then sounds like you're good as set to me. unless what you're getting at is that you're hung up on trying again

[She can and will start throwing memes, Anna. Fondly, of course.]

Oh my god? Frey, I'm a dumbass, but I'm not THAT thick. I'm not gonna sit here freaking out about "oh, my ex-gf and I are gonna try getting back together and see what happens but what does that REALLY mean". Means we're both deciding to try a thing again, and if it works then that's awesome and if not then we already know we're still gonna be friends.

Guess losing my eye shaved off a few layers of bone. ')

That was supposed to be a wink.

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