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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[standalonehuman]

To Whom It May Concern:

Greetings. My name is Hitori Togusa, I am one of the users on the Retrospec Network, and I thank you for putting up a method of contact for your organization. There have been a number of concerns about the Retrospec application to date, and we users haven't seen an effective way to bring them to your attention.

1: Since the launch of the application, the program's Terms of Service have not been made public to the user base. We are still unclear on the limits to the information that Retrospec has access to, and the possible liability incurred by some glitches in the application's functioning so far. We would like the opportunity to read through the conditions, ourselves.

2: As of yet, there is no method of age filtering of posts, nor does there appear to be a content control team on your end. If, going forwards, this email address is the method to report inappropriate postings, that would be fine, but we have seen no way to flag posts so far.

3: Related to the Terms of Service, the application seems to have access to the phones cameras and microphones and has been posting data from those sources to the network without any user control. If that is the intent of the application, the user base needs to be made aware of that, and if it isn't, then that is a major malfunction on your end that needs to be fixed immediately.

I would love the opportunity to discuss these issues with someone at the company, but your physical office never seems to be open. If you could also post office hours, or the contact of someone that we could make an in-person appointment with, that would also be very helpful.

Thank you for your time,
Hitori Togusa

[Two minutes later.]

Hitori Togusa I'll take "Things I should have seen coming" for 1000, Alex.

[notyourutopian]

Eleanor Lamb Oh my god did you really try messaging that email address?
Eleanor Lamb What were you expecting to happen?

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Black bag over my head and disappearing into a van, obviously.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford it was certainly worth a shot?
Cindy Clawford but yeah wasted effort. next time send a test complaint.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Yeah, it figures. I'm still sure someone is reading this. Why do they want content out of us so often otherwise?

[true_noir]

BlakKat I am afraid that I do not know the joke you are referring to.
BlakKat But, if I may be a little vulgar, I am reasonably certain that they do not give a ducking fart what happens on this network.

[Pause. Ducking Fart?!?]

BlakKat What the duck?
BlakKat Did they actually listen to you?

[standalonehuman]

[Togusa is almost falling over in his desk chair from laughing at the top of his lungs and throwing his arms up in victory.]

Hitori Togusa Apparently they did!
Hitori Togusa Hey, Retrospec! I'll take it!

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Of course it rebounded.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa It was worth a shot.
Hitori Togusa I'm probably going to try every time they update, just in case they get it working.

[obscultator]

Krowl Birdfried I take it I shouldn't even bother to send the very similar email I just composed?

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Nah, don't waste your time.
Hitori Togusa Or maybe, you know what? Do. It'll still get out there, and I hate the idea of just giving up.

[megabond]

Augustine Sauveterrier Looks like Retrospec's glitches unable you to send that e-mail, huh?

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa I guess so.

[daemonized]

Nyardyn Mewzunia One must at least applaud you for your stubbornness.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa I didn't think they could even get sending an e-mail wrong.
Hitori Togusa Although, I was most confused about why they would want us to send it to HR instead of a specific customer relations team, or the development team?
Hitori Togusa I suddenly have the feeling that they are not working with very many people on their end.

[counteracts]

Morgnyan Isaacs Man, I gotta applaud you for how above-board all of that was.
Morgnyan Isaacs I feel like I would've drafted it a little sterner than that.

[He might've had a few choice words, but then the network would've auto-corrected them to the PG version regardless.]

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa If it actually had gotten to someone in the Human Resources department, I can't bring myself to go off on them for problems that universally seem to be the programmers' faults.
Hitori Togusa Even the fact that it didn't get to them? It's a problem with the application. IT department or programming.
Hitori Togusa Some poor salaryman in HR doesn't deserve that vitriol. I'm saving it for the right target.

[judicatus]

Noah Barkbranth Did I not advise you to keep your head down

[ wait. wait, what ]

Noah Barkbranth "Barkbranth"?
Noah Barkbranth I don't think they even tried.

[standalonehuman]

[Sorry, boss, Togusa is trying to hold in his laughter at his desk.]

Hitori Togusa Just one tiny user complaint. Come on, I'm not the only one who tried it.
Hitori Togusa But I am getting really good at Pac-Man thanks to this.

[rygdea]

Fynn Ibizania ...AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
Fynn Ibizania Noah Barkbranth?!! Oh man---!

[manolia]

Chibi Meowhein On one hand, I do agree that some form of content filtering would be appreciated. Sometimes, you want to post something on social media that's not kid-friendly. I feel like I'm on eggshells sometimes.
Chibi Meowhein On the other hand, hahahahhahahahahahha, that went well

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa I won't apologize for the spam, I'm going to keep trying as they update.
Hitori Togusa I still wish they would institute something, but maybe I didn't need to be as worried about it. People have been fairly good about censoring themselves.
Hitori Togusa We just have to keep reminding people that they're sharing this space with kids as young as 7 or 10.

[rosettareflected]

Alicnya Clover This clue is surely the daily double.
Alicnya Clover At this rate the building will turn out to be a solid mirage.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa "This application has made quite a splash in Recolle City while never working properly for its users."

[There is a real life frown on Togusa's face as he flips back and forth through his impromptu user list. Okay, this one he can't figure out.]

Hitori Togusa Forgive me for asking this, but what is your name? I don't believe we've spoken before?

[darkinferno]

Nyante Cattailen you really should've
Nyante Cattailen not to mention you should've sent them something more fitting as a test run
Nyante Cattailen like this for instance