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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking you don't think a t-rex burger would probably be delicious? think about it
Steven Squawking hmm...could go with Eleanyan, Purranor, any other combination of stupidity they could think of
Steven Squawking at least they kind of got your name right

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I was never that into dinosaurs, but probably?
Elliecat I'd think they were mostly muscle though and muscle is all chewy.
Elliecat Small blessings. At least Steven Squawking is cute?

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking how could you not be into dinosaurs?
Steven Squawking chewy burgers aren't exactly appetizing when you say it that way, so point taken
Steven Squawking I'm not sure "cute" is what I'm aiming for here. I never wanted to be a bird

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I was into robots.
Elliecat Maybe this will reveal an unexpected bird-oriented path for your future.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking but you can't eat a robot...they're pretty okay I guess
Steven Squawking if my future's filled with birds I'm quitting. what kind of future involves birds anyway?

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat You can teach a robot to get you food though.

Elliecat Besides, no one chooses to be a bird.
Elliecat That is something fate decides for you.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking I've never met a robot who'll get pizza for me, so jury's still out
Steven Squawking if fate was going to choose something for me I'd like a little bit of a heads up? none of this bird shot
Steven Squawking besides, that's all dependent if I chose to believe in fate or someone else deciding my fate for me

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I could proably build something that can place an online order, answer the door and hand over a tip.
Elliecat I mean it would be ugly and, you know, utilitarian but I bet I could do it.

Elliecat I was being silly anyway.
Elliecat About the fate business.
Elliecat You probably aren't destined for birdhood.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking if you ever actually did it, I'd like to see that. could always use another hand at the bar, why not a robot?
Steven Squawking "probably" is the thing I worry about given what else is going on, but I think I like the idea of birds and I being two separate things. then again, if anybody ever really knew how my fate would go I gotta wonder if I'd want to know. sounds a little dangerous don't you think?
Steven Squawking if we're pretending fate was real for a sec

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I'll let you know. I'm still figuring out a lot of the basic programming stuff for motion.
Elliecat I don't actually believe in fate.
Elliecat But yeah, if it were a thing, I wouldn't want to know.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking shit's going to keep being weird around here, so I'd say you have time
Steven Squawking lemme ask you something. what DO you believe in? anything?

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I'd make robots even if it wasn't weird.
Elliecat That's a pretty vague question.
Elliecat You mean like, religion?

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking religion, science, anything. it doesn't have to be something bound like that, it's just whatever

[notyourutopian]

[There's a long delay as she thinks this over.]

Elliecat I don't really know?
Elliecat My parents have never been big on church. I think we used to be catholic?
Elliecat I guess I don't think about it much. I mean, if there is a god, they can...do their god thing.
Elliecat And I'll do my thing.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking if I had to say it, I'd say that's the right answer
Steven Squawking thinking for yourself? that's the only way to live, I think/font>
Steven Squawking anyway if there is a god...or gods or whatever, makes you wonder what they'd think about all of this

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Given everything that's happening?
Elliecat The changes to chocobos and fruits?
Elliecat If there's a god, they're probably messing with us.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking a god is supposed to be smiting us for our sins or whatever right? what's next, turning US into giant chickens or dancing fruit as punishment?
Steven Squawking maybe you're onto something though. about retrospec maybe playing god and messing with us

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat There are gods that are less 'smite' and more 'fuck with' though.
Elliecat At least, from what I remember of mythology.
Elliecat So maybe we're the playthings of some kind of loki-god.

[ooc: Sorry for the delay, I was on vacation.]

no worries!

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking loki's norse right? if a loki-god actually exists we're in even bigger trouble than I thought
Steven Squawking then again, makes you wonder why gods would be interested in us in the first place

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat I think we're just going to have to start readjusting our scale of 'trouble.'
Elliecat But as for interest, who knows?
Elliecat Gods could be just as random as people are.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking guess I could buy it. for all we know gods could have hobbies and live in apartments and do all sorts of weird stuff
NAME not that all people are random either, but I can see your point

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Or they're living a sitcom life watching us on their magic god tvs.
Elliecat I meant more like. People are all different. And unpredictable.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking I mean if I were a god that's exactly what I would do. better to watch other people be miserable than be miserable
Steven Squawking also true.
different personalities, different types...but you really don't think people could be easily predictable someday?

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Not really.
Elliecat I mean, in the short term, sure, you can kind of predict someone.
Elliecat But I don't even know what I'm going to be doing say, next week.
Elliecat Let alone anyone else.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking sometimes I get the feeling that whoever's behind this app knows exactly what our next moves will be
Steven Squawking maybe that's paranoid, but it's also not something I can ignore. that weird feeling of being watched and people knowing what my life's going to do next? not big on the "easy to predict" thing
Steven Squawking stay as unpredictable as possible, elliecat. it'll be better for everybody

[Yes he knows her real name by now, but that nickname is unfortunately going to stick.]