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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[true_noir]

BlakKat Be Careful, Emilie.
BlakKat They make take our swearing away from us at this rate.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate How many people could understand all that here anyway?

[true_noir]

BlakKat I do not know, Emilie.
BlakKat But I am not one to take too many chances.
BlakKat What would we do if we could not say Canard?

[...shit.]

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate You mean canard.
Émilie Écarlate Oh for... They work quickly.

[true_noir]

BlakKat It would appear so.
BlakKat Should I get my claws upon them, I will tan their collective hides.
BlakKat still, this is comparably harmless.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate A minor annoyance, but and annoyance all the same.

[true_noir]

BlakKat Admittedly, I will take this over that song playing every time I receive a notification.
BlakKat If I ever meet the author of that song, I will definitely punch him.
BlakKat Hard.

[Someone disliked rick rolling, a lot.]

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate I will bail you out, but it's hardly his fault. Blame chan boards.

[true_noir]

BlakKat Yet another in a long list of things I do not know well.
BlakKat But I suppose this has been a learning experience.
BlakKat People can be quite stupid on the internet.
BlakKat Though it is occasionally fun to participate.

BlakKat The knife, though, I could do without.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate What's all this about a knife?

[true_noir]

BlakKat Someone...
BlakKat Put a Ducking knife
BlakKat Among my unmentionables.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate That's just... not the normal thing to do.

[true_noir]

BlakKat Even by the standards of what is not normal, this is impressive.
BlakKat It is also clearly the weaponized variety, not cutlery.
BlakKat It is quite obviously so in fact.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate You're not the sort that would need one like that...

[true_noir]

BlakKat It is terribly inefficient for trimming roses, I will say.
BlakKat And worse for cutting meat, so I have to concur.
BlakKat The fact that it feels, as the cloak did, familiar, is not exactly cheering me up.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate That is... very strange.

[true_noir]

BlakKat A phrase I find that we say more and more with each passing day.
BlakKat Next, there will be a gun in my oven, or a grenade under my coffee table.
BlakKat What am I? Some spy in a terrible novel?

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Perhaps you will get stronger too.

[true_noir]

BlakKat If I start displaying strange powers, I will inform you
BlakKat I suppose I already have the cape for the look.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Who wears capes these days?

[true_noir]

BlakKat Oh this is right, you were on vacation.
BlakKat I apparently wear a hunter green cloak now, as my coat is missing and it was there.
BlakKat It is the same as in the visions, and they have a knack for invading my home.
BlakKat I am definitely changing the locks, and adding a new one.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Strange that it's from your visions...

[true_noir]

BlakKat so was the fork that they mailed me, it would seem.
BlakKat I believe everything I get from them factors into those somehow.
BlakKat Which means this knife will too.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate I suppose I've been lucky.
No new visions or strange, alluring maids with silver hair turning up.

[true_noir]

BlakKat If I should ever see this maid, I will at least have the chance to understand what fascinated you so.
BlakKat You were quite taken by them, as I recall.