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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[counteracts]

[Forwarded from a user by the name of Morgnyan Isaacs...]

So I heard about this from a friend of mine, actually about someone else that she'd met through the network. She said that she'd randomly received an erroneous message from him and, after getting over the shock and embarrassment of it, got to know him a little better. He was a shy kid in high school, sort of alienated from classmates and who had never really found his niche, and his parents weren't really the type to give too much help. She thought he seemed nice enough, though a little lonely, so she talked to him a little every day, about things they liked or funny things that happened or that they noticed. As time went on, he seemed to talk a bit better, and he seemed far more open also.

[...This creepypasta got a little long to post in its entirety, so please feel free to read the rest of it here! (:

And after all that...]

yeah, so it wouldn't let me sign in unless I shared it
so watch out for stuff like that

[hjack69]

wow laaaaaaaame
wheres the axe murder or the spooky computer ghosts
i give this 1 out of 5 skeletons

[counteracts]

everyone's a critic

I don't know, trying to avoid some of the more hamfisted horror elements
and maybe be a little more topical
but, hey, if it makes me do another one, I'll just copy and paste Ben Drowned

[Though he really just hopes the app doesn't make him draft another one, especially if it forces him to forward it again. (Which it probably would.)]

[hjack69]

wait
this thing MADE you write creepypasta?

[counteracts]

kind of
this story was on my app when I opened it up and it wouldn't let me log on until I shared it
but, well, believe it or not but it was even shippier in its original form, so I reworded it a bit and changed some things
*shippier
what the heck

[a perfect storm]

[hjack69]

wait
it was shippy?
wtf who was the ship

[ creepypasta shipfic?? incredible. ]

[counteracts]

*s h i p
duck!
I'm trying to say it was crap

[Though, honestly, it probably could've been improved more if it was actually shippy.]

[hjack69]

wait the original had SHIPPING with DUCKS?
thats sick

[ no he's totally just dicking around at this point, sorry bro. ]

[antagonize]

I give that one 0/10. Not enough badly written murders or poltergeists.

$10 says we're going to have to put up with this poop for the rest of the month, though.

[... And a second later:]

Poop*

Poop**

POOP*****

I hecking hate this.

[counteracts]

right. great
I'm hoping this stupid thing'll give me pac-man next time, because at least then I'll be in my element

[...except he actually does occasionally likes to write, but... well, at least he said it wasn't (a) badly-written (murder)?? He's trying to find his silver linings through the dull pressure of embarrassment.]

maybe you just gotta trick it, like
c r u d
d*uck

[...pause...]

darn. smarter than I thought

[antagonize]

Good to know they can program a parental lock filter worth its salt, but not an app that doesn't vomit silly coding on us every five seconds. Where in the world are their priorities?

[counteracts]

can't say I'm surprised. nothing I've learned about this company or the people that work there makes any sense

who knows?
personally, I'm not convinced it's not intentional
can't say I'm an expert at app development or anything but these don't really seem like glitches that would just crop up apropos of nothing

[Especially not when some seem... Easter-themed? He's noticed the people with rabbits and eggs for user avatars, and others complaining about the color for the app theme changing.]

[glacian]

Such a tale would make a decent story if it had something remotely intriguing about it. Just seems like a waste of words at best.

[She's a very honest critic but a tad rude.]

[counteracts]

[SEE, HE REALLY DOESN'T REMEMBER ASKING FOR CRITIQUE, but okay...]

you ever heard of constructive criticism?

[glacian]

Of course I have. I teach at the university.

[TOO BAD!]

[counteracts]

[...well, duck.]

then I'd expect you'd be a little better at it, then

[He was forced into this and he's grumpy and, as far as he's concerned, it was not very constructive!!!]

[glacian]

Don't pout. I'm merely teasing.

[Thankfully, she means no harm. If anything, Gentiana is quite amused with this fussy grump.]

Surely you have a better story to tell. Something with a bit more intrigue.

[counteracts]

well, I'd hate to be on the receiving end when you were serious

[HE'S SENSITIVE...]

maybe. the base story of it was already on the app, but it wouldn't let me log in without sharing it, so I did what I could to improve it
I guess if it makes me share another one I'll try to find some intrigue for you

[Horror is just not his genre, unfortunately.]

[glacian]

Then do well avoiding my intensive course about poetry and literature.

[She can somewhat tell. Somewhat.]

How odd. It seems that Retrospec is misbehaving worse than usual. I blame the date upon the calendar for that.

I'm still quite vexed about this app. I would prefer to delete it.

1/2

[sparsity]

[ HE'D SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGENT ("intelligent") BUT HE'S DISTRACTED ]

[sparsity]

...nyan

[counteracts]

what

[sparsity]

nyan
in your name

[counteracts]

yeah
so?

[sparsity]

you don't know what it means

[ DO YOU ]