Retrospec, 4/7 | The images stuck in your head

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki 4/7 near Birch Hills, Recollé

okay, I wanted to ask people about something (⊃д⊂) what if one of the things you "remember" is something really bad??? I mean like... criminal bad? …φ(。。*) how do you get that out of your head? honestly I get queasy when someone draws my blood, and these memories are way worse. in relates news I guess I'd like to talk to anyone who has been getting memories of like... fighting and stuff, you know? or I guess memories of old-timey stuff too (ㆆᴗㆆ)

Comments

[okitactless]

[Yamato's really, really not in the mood to talk to anybody right now, truth be told. But Ryusei's already bothered him today, so he figures he might as well check Retrospec, since scrolling mindlessly is a good way to fill the hours when you're a millennial.

But Soujirou is Soujirou, and if this is about what Yamato thinks it's about, then he knows how awful those haunting thoughts must be. He would feel terrible for ignoring this, and the last thing he needs right now is to be even more of a terrible friend.]

Pomesada Yamato the kids aren't helping?

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki they are a bit...
Soujackapoo Catsuki but it's also like... it feels a bit inappropriate, you know? (︶︹︺)
Soujackapoo Catsuki it's really not the place to keep thinking about violence

[rhapsodeity]

umm nothing really helped me
eventually i talked to the person in my halluncinomemory and that kind of was nice and i think i needed that though!

i remember fighting but im not sure on old timey stuff!!!!!!!

[spes_phthisica]

hmm
i've never even seen the people in my halluncinomemories though ●︿●
they looked japanese and they were wearing old fashioned clothes thats about it

were you fighting with some kind of weapon?

[rhapsodeity]

oh!
im sorry then :(
that sounds pretty interesting though

yes!
do you want to know lol

[starfruitfrog]

Inuki Kyatto Sometimes it helps to just talk about it with someone you trust. I'm not sure there are ways to get memories out of your head, but talking about it can help you come to terms with it.

Or maybe you could start a journal and write about it. And know that you're not alone and there will always be someone willing to listen.

[vendettastool]

You don't. You just have to look for something to remind yourself that it isn't you. At least not really.

Why do you want to talk to people about memories of fighting?

[spes_phthisica]

well, you couldn't have known that (*´∀｀）
but yes since I've never been super into history it's pretty weird

please tell! i mean we're the only people who will believe us right now (;^_^A so it makes sense to share stories.

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki you're absolutely right, but it's just so hard to get the words out, you know?
I wish I could talk to my mom honestly, but she doesn't have the app so (´・ω・｀)
Soujackapoo Catsuki a journal might not be a bad idea though
if nothing else just to try to summarize it because it's all a jumble

[rhapsodeity]

hmmm that is pretty interesting
i made a joke once about being rapunzel and then all of a sudden i remember living in a tower.....
and ive always been around guns :o

ohhh well thats true, isnt it?
in that case, it was a rifle!
which i have never used or been allowed to use either

[spes_phthisica]

I mean... the worst part is that in the memory, it doesn't even feel like it's a bad thing, you know?
like I'm not doing it because I'm evil it's just like any other job...

so I guess I wanted to compare to other people's memories of fighting, if they have them. see if it's similar, I guess?

[spes_phthisica]

my two first ones didn't seem to have anything to do with anything, they were really random!! （・□・；） in one I was a tiny child beating up a grown man, in the other I made my pet pig knock a kid into a river.
weird, right?
but the scary one definitely had something to do with what I was doing.

huh... that would definitely make it less old-timey than mine, because I had a sword.
were you holding some kind of gun at the time?

[starfruitfrog]

Inuki Kyatto Yeah. It can be really hard. It's hard to even ask for help sometimes, but I'm glad you were able to do it. Have you tried calling her about it?
Inuki Kyatto You could make it like a mindmap, right? And that way you don't have to worry about people reading it,
since journals can be private.

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki well, I mean I visit her all the time, but... since she doesn't have the app, she doesn't remember that there used to be horses or normal fruit, she doesn't know anything weird is happening, you know?
if I told her that I was dreaming about stabbing people, she'd probably want me to go back to my therapist :/
Soujackapoo Catsuki yeah... there are some details I don't want to remember. but maybe getting a clear picture will answer some questions.

[rhapsodeity]

ok but that one is cool!!!!!
kicking butt as a little kid sounds kind of awesome!
my first one was me yelling at a stuffed dead body and my second was
not so good :(

yeah the rifle was related to mine....
i didnt want to do it
it was an accident
but it still
well

[spes_phthisica]

haha i guess. the guy called me "little girl" (but I look pretty feminine so) and said if I beat him I could have his sword. as a joke, I guess? but I beat him and took the sword whoops ^-^;
a stuffed dead body doesn't sound very nice either...

I'm so sorry :c that really does sound awful.
did someone die? you don't have to answer if you don't want to, though.

[vendettastool]

Maybe for that frame of mind it was just a job. Like how you could have been remembering being a soldier or a spy or something, and it would be wrong to do somethings, you can't help but also look at it as a job, right?

That makes some sense. I just know mine doesn't.

[rhapsodeity]

oh wow!
thats amazing :O
was it the same sword in your hallucinomemory??

its ok!
it happened but now its over and they are ok here
and well yes but no, its kind of complicated

[starfruitfrog]

Yuki Sato You could tell her that it's a dream, right? Just because you're dreaming of stabbing people might not mean that you're actually going to do it.
Yuki Sato I hope so.

[outpunch]

Juzoo Sakakuruff I'm just gonna pretend that I didn't see the first part because I'm that nice
Juzoo Sakakuruff Not sure if it's possible to get rid of memories just like that
Juzoo Sakakuruff What about fighting? What did you remember?I...kind of remembered something too, but it's ducking unbelievable
Juzoo Sakakuruff Ugh duck this autocorrect

[tosa]

( What a weirdo ominous post. Ryusei doesn't respond right away when he sees it, opting to go get a snack do the dailies on some of his mobile games. No offense but this is just how he thinks, okay! )

Mewsei Sakameowto would you fight a bear

( How is this even related. )

[spes_phthisica]

nnno i don't think so
i had a different memory later and i think an older kid broke that sword
like on purpose broke that sword right in front of me

oh!
you mean in the memory you hurt a person you know, but they're fine here?

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki mmm I suppose so
Soujackapoo Catsuki i just don't want her to think I'm having mental problems
I mean other than I guess trauma at having seen myself stab people
not that I could actually prove anything, I mean maybe we're all going mad

[spes_phthisica]

i guess "soldier" would make sense...
part of the memory was training how to stab people too
I'm not sure that makes it any better though.

doesn't have fighting in it or doesn't make sense?

[spes_phthisica]

Soujackapoo Catsuki I remember practicing swordplay and then stabbing a lot of people
which seems pretty unbelievable to me too so do your worst

Soujackapoo Catsuki but seriously I've never actually stabbed anyone in real life :/
the worst I've done is been in a couple of bar fights, that kind of stuff