approximately three minutes after the alarms start going off

[thesettingsun]

SOME OF US DON'T HAVE POWERS THIS BINGO IS RIGGED

[Glad we got the complaining out of the way.]

Comments

[storytelleroftime]

I KNOW! Someone needs to file a complaint about this! Now I can't get my second vertical row and my first horizontal row!

[thesettingsun]

Mine's on column 3. Did you get a QR code on your middle square, too?

[storytelleroftime]

Yeah. Also a prompt to write a one woman show for someone. Idk who I can rope into doing that though.

[thesettingsun]

Mine was to get something skull-themed and reenact Hamlet's speech in public. Which I would be more willing to do if one of my possible bingos with the center square wasn't impossible because I don't have powers.

[storytelleroftime]

Yeah, glad none of my center stuff got ruined at least. So I was somewhat less screwed but a rigged game.

[thesettingsun]

You know what would be nice? If Retrospec had a complaints department.

Nice for us, I mean, not for the guy who would have to answer all our emails.

[storytelleroftime]

How many death threats do you think would be in there? Now that's an interesting game. Probably would number in the hundreds, what with how pissed everyone is. For good reason, of course.

[thesettingsun]

If one person sends a different death threat every day, does that count as multiple death threats or just one? I don't think we have more than a couple hundred Retrospec users, and some of them are polite.

[storytelleroftime]

Oh. Yeah I think those would count as multiple so we could probably get up to a few hundred.

[thesettingsun]

Depending on how long this goes on, we might even break a thousand.

[storytelleroftime]

Yeah. Maybe we should just make a "Death Threat Highlight Reel."

But in all seriousness, I don't want anyone sending death threats. One, that's illegal, and two, that's just petty.

[thesettingsun]

Unfortunately.

Is it illegal to wish for Jim to step on a hundred legos?

[storytelleroftime]

My, how cruel of you?! But no, it isn't. Perhaps that should be the fate of every Retrospec employee.

[thesettingsun]

That would be a little much, I don't know how bad they all are.

Let's start with twenty legos and then we can add on from there.

[storytelleroftime]

I could settle for that number.

[thesettingsun]

Glad to hear it. I don't want to be unreasonable with my vengeful curses.

[storytelleroftime]

Hey, whoever said anything about being reasonable? I mean, reason holds it's value but that's no reason not to go all out with your vengeful curses!

[thesettingsun]

In that case, I have another good one!

I hope Jim hits every red light when he drives, for the rest of his life.

[storytelleroftime]

Are we wishing inconveniences upon Jim? Why not upon Janet as well?

[thesettingsun]

As far as I know, Janet hasn't taken stalker photos of me yet like Jim has.

Also, Jim's obviously into her and dedicates hideous videos to her, so I kind of feel bad for her. Not enough to offset her working in Retrospec, but enough to make me dislike her less than him.

[storytelleroftime]

Stalker photos? Well, that's the first I've heard of anything like that. Mind elaborating?

[thesettingsun]

When I first got the app in May, Retrospec kept sending all its users photos of themselves taken from behind. Sometimes in public. Sometimes in private where there shouldn't be any cameras and there's no way someone should have been able to take pictures of me in my room without me noticing.

Jim said he was on 'surveillance duty', which sounds a lot like stalker duty to me.

[storytelleroftime]

...So they're monitoring us. Great. Is Jim trying to run some sort of surveillance state here?

[thesettingsun]

I know nothing about what he thinks he's doing except that he's a dickwad.

[storytelleroftime]

Do you know if there are any psychologists on this app? If so I want one do to a psychoanalysis of Jim. I feel like that I would bring about the most interesting results yet.