01 | the answers agency presents...

[elevelvetor]

Elizabeth Velveteen and Goro Akechi of the newly-formed The Answers Agency would like to announce that, after multiple days of investigation, we have found that a member of Retrospec's userbase is actually an incredibly kind person.

Silver Bells, known on the app as Gintaro Suzukaze, has done wonderful things such as:

* sprayed water on people on a very hot day
* helped newcomers adjust to retrospec
* had his nails painted a bright assortment of colors that was sure to clash with his hair to help out with someone’s bingo square
* promo’d his brother for bingo and because he obviously loves him
* rescues cats from trees on a biweekly basis
* befriends friendless losers
* lends his aid without asking for anything in return

(citation for at least two of these)

We thank you for reading and ask that you spread the good word about Silver, and perhaps share stories of your own of his kindness!

also, i (The Answers Agency president, Elizabeth) will be holding a show everyone is free to come to in Recollé Square on the 15th, at 5pm. you’ll have to bring your own snacks, but other refreshments will be provided.
additionally, those with a serious interest in becoming a detective or making their way in the investigative world should contact either myself or Akechi for more information about The Answers Agency!
we will also take cases, big or small, missing pets or stolen items, so feel free to contact about that as well.

[ ooc: replies will come from both Elizabeth and Goro (twostringsonebow)! ...and Silver, probably, damage control at its finest. ]

Comments

[elevelvetor]

it's hardly giving them the wrong idea, is it?
that list does have merit.

[feistytrader]

* sprayed water on people on a very hot day for bingo
* helped newcomers adjust to retrospec basic decency doesn't count
* had his nails painted a bright assortment of colors that was sure to clash with his hair to help out with someone’s bingo square i wore pink fuzzy crocs to graduation for fun
* promo’d his brother for bingo and because he obviously loves him i embarrassed him in public
* rescues cats from trees on a biweekly basis you made this one up and who the hell doesn't like animals
* befriends friendless losers while goro is a friendless loser, i don't know if i'd call us friends
* lends his aid without asking for anything in return name one time i've done this

[elevelvetor]

1. bingo doesn't discredit kindness
2. basic decency also doesn't discredit it, because there are plenty of people who wouldn't do the same
3. you seem like the type of person to help cats
4. is akechi really a friendless loser? oh my.

[ some of these she's not giving a reply ]

[twostringsonebow]

[HE IS GIVING HER A LOOK ACROSS THE TABLE PLEASE... DON'T PUT THAT IN PUBLIC...]

[elevelvetor]

[ silver said it first not her take the issue with him ]

[twostringsonebow]

[BUT YOU JUST ASKED OF COURSE SILVER'S GOING TO OUT HIM AS A FRIENDLESS LOSER]

[elevelvetor]

[ WHOOPS......... ]

[feistytrader]

1. It doesn't denote kindness, either. I specifically aimed to soak Goro's phone.
2. Being average doesn't mean that I'm nice.
3. Who the hell wouldn't help cats?
4. He is absolutely a friendless loser. Have you talked to him?

[elevelvetor]

1. i meant other people, like that lady with the hat! it was very nice of you
2. i will concede on this point
3. people with cat allergies?
4. yes and i find him rather delightful to speak with. especially when eating fruit.
his face does the most wonderful thing.

[feistytrader]

[...You know what, abandon post, tease Goro.]

He really likes apples, so sometimes he gets sort of jealous if you eat them in front of them.
I'd recommend sharing as many with him as possible.

[elevelvetor]

giving me a recommended activity to share with our mutual acquaintance...
your Silverness knows no bounds.

[ we're not stopping this train ]

[feistytrader]

You know what, I'm alright with this brand of Silverness.
Make sure you eat them nice and slow, okay? It's good to savor good fruit.

[elevelvetor]

worry not, i've already done so.
the first day we were on the app, i talked to someone who seemed to have a mutual acquaintance in our Akechi, and we spoke for a bit about his reactions to the dancing fruit.
he told me not to make him cry though, so i'll refrain from pushing the joke too far.

[feistytrader]

Don't worry, he won't cry unless you punch him.

[twostringsonebow]

I would appreciate it if you turned your kindness elsewhere.

[elevelvetor]

perhaps this is simply his way of letting people know you're free?
thus, you can make as many friends as you'd like.

[twostringsonebow]

I... cannot say I appreciate his methods, but if it's something like that then that's quite acceptable.
I guess.
To be honest, his terrorism feels a lot like shows of affection from a rather grumpy and embarrassed cat.

[feistytrader]

Why not? I thought you were all about my kindness.
Maybe I'll even help you out with your little crush.

[elevelvetor]

crush?

[twostringsonebow]

it's nothing please don't ask

[feistytrader]

As a kind super friend I can't say any more, but he definitely has it pretty bad for some guy.

[twostringsonebow]

i'm rescinding this post there's nothing about you that is kind in least
your roommate status is also up for debate

[twostringsonebow]

Also, I do not have a crush.

[twostringsonebow]

If I did it certainly would be no business of yours.

[feistytrader]

It's kind of my business, you know.
Since you made me your back up date.
(And roomie.)
I'm glad we've come to an understanding about my kindness, though.
Elizabeth's way better at this than you.