[video] forward dated to 9/13

[appraiser]

Ryoji Mochizuki shared a video.
09/13 near Apprassage

[ The video starts up, dark, silent. A bedroom, if an empty desk and neatly made bed and too many cardboard boxes count as a bedroom, and then the view flips over with a soft ] Oh. [ as the user finds the front-facing camera instead of the rear that he always uses on his phone. ]

Hi... It's been a while.

[ The bottom half of the screen blurs as Ryoji draws his knees to his chest where he sits on bare floorboards, phone in his hands. He doesn't introduce himself— doesn't need to, when his name is up there for people who don't know him, his face right here for people who do: the people he's recording this video for, whispers in an empty room. ]

I'm back. I know there are probably questions as to why, or how... and I can't really explain it well myself. But I'll answer the best I can, if you want to ask, texting or in person.

[ Ryoji sits up a little straighter now, looks a little more serious. This is what he meant to say: a confession. ]

But before that, I want to say that I'm glad to be back, however it happened... a second chance like this. I also want to be more upfront about myself, and there are things I want to say to a lot of people.

There was a time in the past where I was a monster: I'd hurt a lot of people, and I ran from all of that, hid myself away, and pretended it hadn't happened. The memories I've been experiencing, I kept the good ones close, the bad even closer, pretending they weren't real and that they have nothing to do with me. I thought... that it would be better to forget about all of that and return to a simpler time. Unconsciously, I think that's what I did. I went back to before everything happened, to start over, and do better this time. But I got it wrong. I made myself forget, but I wasn't forgotten...

[ He's rambling now, a little, so he turns his eyes away from the screen, staring off at something in the distance- it's the moon reflected in his eyes, only half. ]

There's somebody I still need to say goodbye to, but after that... I want to see so many of you. I owe a lot of "thank you"s and "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s, and I want to be with people again. I don't want to leave this world or its people ever again.

So... I'll see you guys soon.




( ooc: forward dated to 9/13 to give myself a buffer. replies can be via text, or an in-person if you want to fast-forward to ryoji showing up at your character's house/class/chance meeting at some cafe/hi roommates/he'll be finding people around town somehow. for his cr, please assume he checked up on them, whether it's handwaved or not! )

Comments

[appraiser]

And do you like me?

[ PUTS LALLI ON THE SPOT; HE NEEDS THIS OK ]

[lalliho]

[mind screeches to a halt

stares

burrito insides plop sadly onto the wrapper]

Um.

[ahem]

You're...okay? I guess? I don't not like you. Just sometimes stuff you do.

[appraiser]

Okay.

[ Ryoji breathes the word and flops back onto Lalli's bed or whatever is in this room that he can lie down on and stare up at the ceiling. ]

...That's okay. Stuff I do is stuff that I can fix.

[lalliho]

[This room in particular is family/living room-kitchen/dining combo, so Ryoji gets to kick back on the sofa. Which...also seems to have been acting as a bed lately, so there's...that. Lalli just keeps watching him, not showing the odd twinge of relief at the fact that Ryoji's not taking this too badly.]

Mhmn. And you said you would try not to be a stepford smiler at me so much anymore. That's why you get to know where I live.

[appraiser]

[ It's a good reward, he supposes, but those words themself makes it hard for Ryoji not to smile, so he turns his head and smiles into the back of the couch instead. ]

It's hard not to smile when you make me want to smile. That's why I do it so much.

[lalliho]

[How does everything out of this dude's mouth sound like flirting...]

Right now this is fine... [Like, this level of joy. Just don't go bonkers.] Other people don't act like this about stuff I say and do.

[appraiser]

[ That's just how he is. Unfortunately. ]

Act like how? Trying not to smile? If you let me smile openly, I would too.

[lalliho]

No. Not like that...

[He sighs and goes back to his burrito so he can figure out...phrasing...]

People think I'm weird. If they smile, it's because I said something that I didn't mean to be funny, but that's how it was because they have weird jokes. I don't...make people happy when I'm not doing anything.

[appraiser]

But weird doesn't have any bearing on whether people like something or someone, right? Weird is synonymous to unique, which everybody is.

[ Like. Have you seen half the people in the city? Ryoji knows he's not the weirdest person out there, and neither is Lalli. ]

And you make me happy, without having to do anything.

[lalliho]

[Ugh, throwing his own unique classification system in his face... He shakes his head and hunkers down.]

Okay. But that's not how it ever worked before. And it doesn't make sense. That's why I don't like it.

[He doesn't like people talking down to him or being assholes, but at least it was predictable. Why does someone do with Ryoji...]

[appraiser]

Isn't that how friends work, though? It takes time to get to know someone, then as you become comfortable around each other, happiness is just... company.

[ Ryoji flips over onto his stomach, feet kicking in the air like he's so pleased with himself for thinking this makes perfect sense. ]

[lalliho]

[GOD...HE'S SO WEIRD... Lalli's gonna throw a wad of takeout napkins at him to see if that helps clear up this FILTHY DISPLAY]

You were like this as soon as we met, it has nothing to do with friendship. I'm pretty sure we're not friends yet.

[appraiser]

[ No??? Ryoji does sit up and start picking up the scattered napkins, though, trying to separate the ones that have touched the ground from the ones that are still clean enough for mouths. ]

Aren't we friends? You invited me over to your home and gave me— [ well no, he didn't even offer the nachos, Ryoji just assumed ] ...we shared a meal.

[lalliho]

[do you really think Lalli is gonna use napkins]

That doesn't mean anything. You do that at a wake.

[sighhh]

It's just...different. I don't know. You feel like you push.

[appraiser]

[ What if he has guests over someday? Ryoji can hope. ]

I do push. Otherwise, how are people going to know I want to be friends?

[lalliho]

[THEY'RE SHITTY TAKEOUT PAPER NAPKINS, that's what paper towel is for.]

Okay. But I don't like pushing. That's makes me not want to be your friend.

[appraiser]

[ That can still be used! Think of the trees and use the shitty napkins, or donate them to Ryoji's poor house where they're scavenging everything they can. ]

But if I just give up, then there's no way we'll become friends. What would the middle ground be?

[lalliho]

[I mean, he's free to take them. He obviously values them far more than Lalli, who houhtlessly threw them at him in the first place.]

...Do you know a guy named Prompto?

[He's going somewhere with this.]

[appraiser]

Yes. But if you're telling me to be friends with him instead, that's not going to work. We're already friends, and I want to be your friend too.

[lalliho]

[He's gotta have more napkins in here to throw -- yep.]

No. I'm saying to look at what he does because he's happy and smiles and stuff, but he doesn't push. He's probably my only friend.

[appraiser]

[ Maybe Lalli would make more friends if he didn't throw napkins at people. At least this time, Ryoji is somewhat prepared and is able to salvage more of the napkins before they fall. These get confiscated and stuck in his pockets as he tries to recall what Prompto does, specifically, that had made Ryoji want to become friends in the first place.

...He's pretty sure Prompto just sort of existed, and that's all it took. Which isn't very helpful, so Ryoji steals a slice of quesadilla this time and settles down for some story telling. ]

How'd you guys become friends?

[lalliho]

[FUNNY HOW JUST EXISTING CAN MAKE YOU LIKE PEOPLE, HUH

ALMOST LIKE

PUSHING IS UNNECESSARY

HMMMMN

but Lalli doesn't know what's going on inside Ryoji's head, so he'll just dig out some sauce packets in case he wants to add those.]

I told him his picture was bad until he said it was from his phone, and I said I remembered him. He started talking to me. Listening.

[that's...it...]

[appraiser]

[ People can't like him if he just sits there doing nothing, that's not how it works!!! He's also having a difficult time following Lalli's story, listening as best he can, but there seems to be some gaps here and there... ]

You "remembered" him? As in, you wanted to become his friend first?

[lalliho]

[Not an uncommon reaction to conversations with Lalli tbh]

No...? Not really. I just said we used to go to the same school and he did something I remembered for some reason. Then he asked if he could text me?

[Weird, but public conversation was weirder.]

[appraiser]

[ "He did something I remembered for some reason" is pretty much why Ryoji acts the way he does: pushy, exuberant, noticeable whether good or bad. Taking mental notes here to ramp up that sunshine around everybody else but Lalli, ok. ]

Then, you could have been friends from long ago. It would have been nice to have a childhood friend.