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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last social media network you will ever need. You are one of the few selected to test this exciting new platform based on our cutting-edge algorithms. Less than two hundred invitations have gone out, and membership is not currently open to the public. However, we hope you will come to see how useful Retrospec™ is, given time. We have for your use a variety of features such as text, voice, video, and image posts. We encourage you to explore our many options. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. As a reminder, everything besides uploading a profile picture and information was locked until this post. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Oddly, profile pictures still cannot be swapped out at this time, so hopefully you took a good one.

Comments

[parodeity]

well if were gonna get fancy we may as well add a few paradoxes up in there

[threnodeity]

All mysteries require the illusion of a paradox. It's the necessity of any headscratcher. I'm afraid I am fresh out of stock. What I possess are boring, sensible questions. What were the perimeters of the algorithm they utilized? Through what means did they install mass-download this app?

And, of course, where is the cheerful AI sidekick to entertain the children in the movie theater?

[parodeity]

what would the perimeters of the algorithim matter
or do you mean how we were picked for this
because i think it had to include factors like
does this person like cute animal pics
will this person shitpost to a new app within seconds of being granted the ability to do so
will this person use the app even as they complain about it a ton
if you said yes to any 2 of the above CONGRATS youre in
not sure about the mass-download but theres some shady stuff going on there
in that
it can undownload itself?
so
thats cool and lowkey creepy
you should blog about it

we could ask dirk and rox to program us one

[threnodeity]

If those were the criteria, I'd say we are the perfect candidates.

I shall mark the date of the download to measure whether any of us will meet a gruesome death. This program could be the start of a memetic virus from the paranormal, a modern Ring designed to usher us to the hasty end, leaving only the tantalizing promise of sequels to come.

I'm confident that Dirk and Roxy are already preparing to dismantle this. I'd be surprised if they were sitting on it.

[parodeity]

ok but if someone crawls out of our tv im telling them to take you first
just like for the record
you were born first you get to get dragged off to wherever first
that seems fair

yeah true
which means we can sit on our laurels and wait for them to solve it
i didnt get the computer genes i cant be expected to do more than look pretty and jam when this kind of thing happens
that would just be cruel and unnatural

[threnodeity]

My! Whatever happened to chivalry? I daresay I heard its death rattle the moment your text arrived.

I'm happy that you embraced your role as the token fanservice, Dave.

[parodeity]

technically gautier never covered being killed before your twin sis as part of chivalry
shall we review?
1) believe the church and do what the church says
2) defend the church (you arent a church)
3) respect all weaknesses and defend them doesnt apply in this cast
4) love your country
5) dont run away from the enemy
6) war against infidels honestly the chivalry commandments were v crusadey
7) feudal duties
8) dont lie and keep promises
9) be generous
10) champion of good against evil blah blah
tho i guess like literature chivalry might cover you because youre a lady
but that seems unfair like
why the fuck should i take the fall just because youre a girl
we both know youre more likely to be able to kill the ring girl than me rose
clearly that means its your job

wait i might protest the token fanservice depending on the genre
im pretty sure if were in a horror flick that means i die a gruesome death

[threnodeity]

( continued here! )