retrospec | (no subject)

You're looking more like him, not yourself.

I didn't have a scar. I didn't have half and half hair.

But my double does. So I get it. I guess.

You were still always clearly recognizable as yourself.

[While Cutter is what? Turning into a vampire-werewolf?]

What kind of weird punk wears his hair like this?

[He tugs on a lock of hair, a mix of red and white.]

A lot? I mean, I've seen people pay for having spiked up grey hair with rainbow tips and they weren't even real punks, they just liked it like that.

[He shrugs his shoulders. Split in two hair was mostly for rebellions teens from what Cutter can tell, but that sort of fits Shouto too, doesn't it?]

Does it really bother you that much? The white should be easy to dye over.

It didn't before.

[But now it's annoying. The hair was fine, the scar is just... unacceptable.]

I... I don't know. I feel like I'm losing myself and turning into my double.

Sorry. Nothing I've had to deal with has been as bad as your stuff.

Tch. Tell me about it!

[Grabbing a pebble he stands up and hurls it into the water. It doesn't skip, but at least there's a small splash as it goes under.]

I have been worried about that right from the get-go. That we'll lose touch between what's true and what's just fabricated from those memories or whatever they are.

[Jamming his hands into his pants pockets Cutter gives Shouto a wry smile.]

But some monster teeth and a scar like that is hard to ignore, isn't it? I want to fight against those things, but I just don't have no clue how! It's frustrating!

[Shouto watches the pebble go down without making a move of his own.

But he's looking down and away when Cutter tries to smile at him.]

It's hard to fight it when it seems to be ourselves.

... Hey, did you ever get any memories of your double's parents? Family life? That kinda stuff...?

My family? [He stops and gives Shouto a quizzical look that turns into suspicion and then a surprised look of understanding.

Oh!

Of course.]

Nah, I haven't. I guess it's because my family isn't anything important for me since, y'know. Orphan and all. It's the people who raised me that count to me. Did you....?

... Hm.

I've remembered my... my double's mother and father. He had a... complicated family life. [Yeah, that's definitely one way to put it.]

Shouto...

[Pushing himself back into Shouto's line of view Cutter pouts at him with a frowny face. Then he places a finger in the middle of his forehead and flicks it.]

For an actor you're sure a shitty liar. If you want to say something then just say it.

[He knows that Shouto never beats around the bush. He doesn't want him to begin with it now.]

[He flinches and brings a hand up to cover his forehead.]

Acting is different from lying.

It's bad enough my shitty old man is shitty. I didn't think he'd be worse in those memories.

[He grins for a moment before it fades with understanding. Those superhero memories had seemed to good to be true for a while now. He'd been almost tempted to question if they really were from the same place, except now... That's not the kind of reassurance Cutter would have wanted.

Pulling back he leans back against his arms and sighs. Long and unhappy.]

World why are you doing this...

[Cutter gazes at the sky as if it holds the answers and just doesn't want to share before he turns his attention back to Shouto.]

You can tell me if you want to vent. I'm losing touch with reality anyway.

[Keeping one more weird secret won't hurt him.]

[His family life is probably cursed or something, he doesn't know. But it would at least explain why his father is constantly awful.

Still, he follows Cutter's line of sight...] You're not going to find answers up there.

... I told Mr. Aizawa a little bit about it. My double's family.

His shitty old man had a flaming beard, and when my double was five, he pushed him into "training" until he threw up. Then his mom tried to stop it, and his father hit her for trying to protect her son.

[It sounds awfully similar to something Shouto went through, but he was never pushed until he threw up.

This wasn't the part he told Mr. Aizawa though.]

Heh! I can try!

[He snorts before letting out an amused laugh, feeling better the moment Shouto's observing bluntness returns.]

You told Aizawa? That's-

[Oh. Ouch! Cutter flinches, his mind refusing to wrap properly around what he just heard just because of how awful that'd be if it were reality. Of how awful it IS, since it's part of Shouto's memories now and thus most likely part of some twisted past or reality.]

Dude, what the hell?! I hope your other you froze his beard off once you were old enough!! What did Aizawa say to that?!

Aizawa's a good teacher. I like him.

[He looks out into the distance for another moment.]

I... don't know what I did. But Aizawa asked if I had a similar family situation here.

It's not the same. My shitty old man's never hit me. Or made me throw up.

Mom's never hurt me either.

That's good at last.

[Cutter goes back to staring at the sky, wondering what the hell he is supposed to say.]

We're quite a pair, huh? You've got all the awesome powers but for that your family life's in ruins and I got an okay patchwork of a family life and the only 'perks' I got out of this mess are turning into a mutant.

Speaking of with, I met a nice old guy. I think we could go to him if we need help.

I'd trade you... I don't think that's possible though. At least you still have friends...? The mutants in M-Men just had each other.

[He perks up a little and focuses his gaze on Cutter.]

What's the guy's name?

Yeah, I think everybody who has Retrospec is at least a little weird in some sense. And trust me, you don't wanna have my past. A shitty family life isn't worth it. Iwai. He runs a paintball and airguns supply shop.

It's hard to tell.

[Everybody has a very different life and a different kind of struggle.

Though... he thinks he'd rather have somebody else's over his own.]

Iwai? ... I don't think I've met him yet. I'll have to go see him.

I'm sure he won't mind. He seems like a pretty chill dude, just-

[Trailing off, Cutter shakes his head.]

Tell him I said hi and than I'm keeping my word. That should be enough.

... If you say so.

If you trust him, so do I.

Good. By the way, are you still training? I might have found another training partner for you if you do.

To fight?

A little, I don't really like it. But it's useful.

Good. You gotta keep it up if you want to keep being able to make a move in the future. Who knows when retrospec quits playing around.

Yeah, to spar but maybe you two can also help each other out with that powers thing. Ever heard of Dave Strider? He's got a speed ability.

... Yeah, we're friends. I thought he had time stuff? Like time travel?