{3rd Demon; Text}

[dejerate]

Guessing I'm not the only one here who apparently isn't human. Or, who isn't entirely human? I'm not sure at this point. But then, I guess that's to be expected when I remembered about Ashuramaru -- apparently my katana I got is supposed to have a demon in it or something. That's his name. Ashuramaru. Literally 'Perfect Ashura', from what I remember of Japanese.

But. I dunno, when even a demon tells you you're insane. Got to wonder what was going on. What I did that he said that.

I'm not sure how much more I can brush off with trying to ignore this. Trying to focus on school now that's back again and all, when I get memories like this. I dunno. Seems while these memories help fill things in it also leaves me with more questions. It's frustrating. Just like when we get messages from those jerks that run and made this insane app. And there's probably only so much that can be dealt with or brushed aside for homework or training to use the sword to tire myself out.

Not to mention the sudden dome of darkness and all recently too. I get that others said to try focus on things here to live a normal life still but. I'm seriously questioning how the fuck that is possible. All things considered.

Even with what little context I have for this other me or other life or whatever this is supposed to be.

Comments

[matchbreaker]

What sort of life do you want to be living, if what you've done before now is impossible?

[dejerate]

I dunno. Even before getting this app and all, I was debating. Between doing some sort of social work with kids, working with cars or joining the military.

In my memories, I'm wearing this uniform. So I guess that was my choice there.

[matchbreaker]

So it's really just more of an advanced recklessness for your last few years of school? Or first years of school, depending.

[dejerate]

Advanced recklessness? Ah. Maybe?
It's not like that's really new. Pretty sure my foster dad gets sick of the school calling him in the middle of the day about some fight or other that I ended up in.

I guess fighting vampires would be a whole other story to it though.
Probably. But it was a military uniform, so.

[liberal_arts]

So it turned out that sword of yours was something special, even without needing to analyze it.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Swords having spirits within them is something I already knew.

[dejerate]

Demon. Not a spirit. But I guess the concept is kinda close enough. Apparently he was trying to take over my body. Not sure if that might be the case with these other spirits in your swords.

[liberal_arts]

The difference is pedantry, as far as I can tell. A spirit is a spirit, demonic or otherwise.

But no, I don't think any of my fellow swords have attempted to possess our owners, but I can't speak for all of us, either.

[dejerate]

I dunno if it's just mine or if it's a more common thing or something back home. But. Yeah. He was definitely saying about how he was trying and ready to take over if I let my guard down enough.

[floret]

Maru as in 丸 ?

[dejerate]

阿修羅丸 I would guess? I was just talking to him, didn't see his name actually written down but. Why?

[floret]

Oh, I think they just put that at the end of names of things sometimes. Like vessels or weapons.

I guess you could ask him directly what it means, though . . .
Is he in there now? The demon.

[dejerate]

Maybe. I guess I never really paid all that much attention with the names of weapons before.

I don't think so? Or. It's not like I've seen or heard him like in that memory otherwise.

[manufactured]

I don't know what I can be considered yet, but according to my memories, I'm not human either. Or, at least, I'm not human "anymore."

It hasn't thoroughly impeded my ability to live my life; nothing that Retrospec has thrown at me has truly done that, as of yet. But I understand what you're saying, I believe; even if technically there's nothing stopping me from continuing to do as I always have, it's proving more and more difficult as time goes by.

[dejerate]

Yeah. I'm not sure myself. I mean,
I guess I was at least human to start with? It's harder to say with what I remember so far. But I at least looked human as a kid. I think.

Exactly. You get it.

[manufactured]

I was human until some point well into my adult years; I don't know what precisely the catalyst for change was, but I seem convinced that I'm not human anymore in my latter memories, and no one really argues the fact when it's brought up.

It's natural to be preoccupied by it, however. To want to seek answers, even if finding them is going to prove to be unpleasant, and to be frustrated when those answers aren't forthcoming. Perhaps things will make sense for you in time.

[dejerate]

So something happened that made you change later on when you were an adult? How do you know you weren't human anymore? I mean, I know I didn't look it in that memory before, and Ashuramaru told me so.

I don't know if I will like the answers, filling in more of what happens.
But it isn't like we get a choice here.

[erythristic]

what kind of demon, if you don't mind my asking?

[dejerate]

A demon with red eyes, longass hair and horns and fangs. Apparently.

That really doesn't seem to like Angels.

[Or the drugs Yuu takes to suppress it? Probably not that huge a surprise. Angels and demons and all.]

He's trying to take over my body,
from what I remember.

[erythristic]

oh.

is that a current problem, or not something that's entered into your life?

also, does your demon have an irritating tendency to smirk?

[androidheart]

I am not human either.

[dejerate]

You're not?

[androidheart]

I was. The last time you saw me.

Now, less so.

I am slowly becoming more and more mechanical.

[cornets]

I thought maru was circle??

[dejerate]

For all I know, I'm wrong. I haven't exactly seen his name written. I'm just guessing. I know some Japanese with the way it's written or said can be different or seem similar to another word.

[cornets]

True
The ma could be the demon kanji