[Text] From Late Night

[matchbreaker]

[ I mean she's still out in Magatus but there's a thought which has sort of lingered in the back of her mind for a while now and as such more to clear her mind from thoughts of wolves and the thoughts of her own son (including of all things puns, why??? she's going to put out vaguepost in the form of: ]

So does anyone else have children in the memories they've been getting?

To answer my own question the woman I am in my memories has a son and then her son has three children as well.

[ So this tbh pretty young looking 41 year old is a grandmother in her memories but that's beside the point. ]

Comments

[matchbreaker]

I love with all of my heart

[livingimpaired]

I see.

As far as the feelings associated for myself, I feel concern for their happiness. I just would like to know that they are all right. [ A beat. ] I've never thought of myself as a fatherly figure, and so I suppose that is how any guardian must feel about the children under their care.

[matchbreaker]

That's the hope, at least.

[ It doesn't always happen, which is a tragedy but... that's the hope. ]

Honestly, that makes it even stranger for you than me. At least I am a mother.

[livingimpaired]

But it is as you said. You love them with all your heart as you love your own children. Your family has gotten larger and your warm feelings only grow with it rather than diminish.

I hope that you come to see your children living well in your memories. [ And not that for some random reason you're terrorizing the shit out of small children -- and also rescuing them from monsters. Kei would like to know what it up with Kirei Kotomine but also too afraid to ask. ]

[matchbreaker]

That's true of me, but it's also not seemless. It's still something I wrestle with, a great and overflowing love for two different sets of people, and one of them is less remembered than the other. It was hard for me to reconcile for months for various reasons.

It's part of why I asked, honestly, to see if other people had dealt with or were dealing with that.

... And I hope so as well.

[ Even if all of it comes with the inevitable caveat, the iron rule... that they are dead. They're all dead, along with that world. ]

[livingimpaired]

I'm certain it would be difficult. I'm no parent and so I cannot understand, but I can guess. It is feeling love from "you" in memories and knowing the love you presently have for your own children. It's perhaps wondering which is real, and coming to the conclusion that both are real.

No more and no less. It certainly doesn't cheapen the love that you have for your own children. [ Don't say passive-aggressive dick things "under your breath," Kei. ]

Also are your children in this city doing well?

[matchbreaker]

It doesn't.

Love isn't finite, something which is doled out as needed.

[ She responds firmly with that, at once taking and refusing to take the bait. It does sting a little, the same way her old wonders about it all did but...

That drawing Silver made reassures her in the back of her mind. ]

One of them's out here with me. I hope the other's doing well, he's an independent boy and I do have people looking after him too.

[livingimpaired]

I've never felt love, and so I can only guess.

Independent boy that have people you know watching out for him?
That sounds terribly familiar.
That is the situation I am in with my senpai.
He asked me to watch over his daughters while they were in this city.
I suppose that makes me the guardian of two girls here, too.

[matchbreaker]

[ Senpai...? ]

From overseas?

[ Never felt love that's...

... Sad? Sad and she has no idea how to respond to it. ]

[livingimpaired]

That's right.

He's still in Japan now.
I have to say all the radio silence is probably worrying him.
Or not?
I fear I still don't know how wide range the influence is.

[matchbreaker]

I don't either. I grew up in the city, so outside of business calls, I've not needed to contact people outside the city until contact was lost.

[ . . . So. ]

[livingimpaired]

I shall hope for the best.
There is not much else that I can do.

Still, I am relieved that you have the app.
You could be in his shoes.
A state where you neither know or care that it's been ages since the person that is guarding your children has contacted you.

Perhaps, my ward is right.
I should write horror novels.
But sadly, I don't take enjoyment out of that so I must once more nix the idea.

[matchbreaker]

[ If she didn't have the app, she wouldn't be out here. But then Silver would be alone. And Albert. and... ]

I'm grateful too, at this point. The thought of anything else is terrifying, honestly.

[livingimpaired]

That, too, is love?
You speak of it so freely.
Your children must be exceptionally cared for, Elda Marker.

[matchbreaker]

And responsibility, yes.

I do my best! After all, everyone makes mistakes, but I don't think I can fault myself for my intentions.

[livingimpaired]

I don't think you can, either.
I honestly believe that good intentions are amazing.
They are what make humanity and society "good."
Your intentions are filled with love and the desire to watch over your children.
I don't think anyone could call them truly wrong.
Even the mistakes that you made with your children, you made them because you wanted to ensure their safety and happiness. So long as that remains true, it is only the application that fell apart, not the intent.

[matchbreaker]

[ What... a weird guy. How philosophical. That's so weird. But at the same time, she laughs a little and ... yeah, she's pleased at it here, she leans back in the cave and nods. ]

Pretty much!

Applying it to humanity as a whole seems a little intense, but that's the hope.

[livingimpaired]

I can be a bit intense.
I may not have ever felt love, but I have a great interest in humanity.
I realize that sounds like I, myself, am not human but I am.
I merely mean that I always believe in the good intentions of society.
It's the hope that keeps everyone going.

[ And it's the hope that slowly poisons and kills everyone. ]

[matchbreaker]

How humanist

[ . . . ]

Honestly, I don't entirely disagree though.

[ Entirely... the woman in her memories really, really would though and that thought does drift to her at his statement that he was human despite that wording. ]

[livingimpaired]

Thank you.

It's nice to know that others have such fond thoughts about society, too.
I feel like from what I've seen of this app, the users start to wear down.
But so long as we continue to remind that there is "good", we shall be fine.

[ He's hilarious. ]

[matchbreaker]

No, that's true. There's a lot which is hoisted upon people here, and many people suffer because of it. There isn't a panacea for that, and it's something everyone here needs to work through.

But by and large I think the people of the world do try to do right by themselves and others, face to face.

[livingimpaired]

Right?
No matter what -- that goodness is what is most important.
When you think of the children of your memories.
When you think of your children in reality.
It's the good that remains.

And no matter what horror we remember, it is always the good that remains.
Because humanity lives on hope.

[matchbreaker]

[ Were that was entirely true.

She thinks back on some of the darker parts of her memories, the flames, that girl, the crying.

... humanity lives on hope, huh? How... human. ]

Nostalgia and memory does that overtime, focus more on what's good than what isn't. It's a common enough trick.

[livingimpaired]

There are only a few that can live in darkness.
The rest must strive for the light.
I think that says something well for society, for the world.
For you as someone who strives for light for her children.
Both remembered and held dear in this city.

[matchbreaker]

Honestly, you're making me sound saintly, and I'm pretty sure that's laying it on too thick.