retrospec | [text]

[ It's ass at night and Elda Marker, made more awake by the fact she keeps finding herself waking up later and later especially on weekends when her son doesn't have school is wide awake. As such, she makes her own variation on one of those cerebral posts a friend of hers makes sometimes: ]

So what's something you've wanted to tell someone, but haven't? Or something you absolutely don't want to tell someone? Or have been fretting about? I'm no qualified therapist, but I am older than many of the people on this app, so maybe I can help. Even if I can't, I can hear it out.

I'll make mine public: The woman in my memories survived an attempt to exterminate her race, and I have no idea how to begin to handle that memory. I've tried to ignore it for months.

Mine's related to Retrospec stuff, but it doesn't have to be obviously.

[ On and OOC feel free to have your responses here assumed to be to her inbox for privacy if you want or have them be public for people. Specify if you want I'll roll with whatever ... or respond to her own admission if you want ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, do I have questions, first of all to ask if you're all right? But to keep things on an even keel first:

The kidnappings in October, it brought back an incredibly bad memory from the other Togusa's life. Multiple friends of mine were victims, and I don't want to let it slip that they made me remember somebody even worse than the guy that hurt them.

I'm alright. About that, in any case - as much as I can be, with something I don't know how to process. I did get a really difficult to work with physical change earlier in the month, though.

I'm still thanking my stars I wasn't as involved with that as many others. No member of my family taken, and... that whole thing was awful. Honestly, I don't even know all the details to this day.

But alright. Do you want to tell me about it?

Difficult to work with? Is there anything you can think of that would help you out? I've been trying to help some people adjust.

There's only so much I can say, not out of a legal perspective, the fallout of that is actually done. But, that was four close friends of mine, other people I knew. People I'd promised to protect. Not the general 'protect and serve' measure of protect, but people I'd looked in the eye and promised to help.

So. Only so much I can say that they might not want me sharing.

I'm not about to quiz you down about it, honestly. I'm *curious* I won't deny that and I'm wary, in part because... well, that situation mirrors a fear I have about a dear friend of mine. I won't deny there isn't some part of me who feels it should be expounded on more in my guide, to better give people a suggestion for coping methods.

But that's not something to foist on anyone involved unless they're willing.

But no, no. I've done what I can about my new circumstances. I'm surprised they aren't worse.

I don't know if I'd advise the coping methods I've seen so far. Working yourself to death, drinking a lot, and...punching Santa Claus.

You said that the woman you saw had survived an attempt on her race. There is only bad and worse contexts for that. But do you think who you're seeing is something other than human?

I'm well beyond thinking. She was a vampire, and I'm most of the way there too.

But no, none of those sound like good coping methods at all.

[THAT IS TOGUSA COUGHING ON HIS DRINK.]

Like.

Drinking blood, daylight is bad?

Would all those omamori that we all bought at New Year's bother you now?

- Yes
- Yes
- No

They're a species like any other in that world... mostly. I mean, they're strange, what with burning up in the sun and all but they're born, they live, and they die. They're not undead and religious things don't seem to affect them? I've at least been able to step into my church.

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