[text]

[matchbreaker]

[ It's ass at night and Elda Marker, made more awake by the fact she keeps finding herself waking up later and later especially on weekends when her son doesn't have school is wide awake. As such, she makes her own variation on one of those cerebral posts a friend of hers makes sometimes: ]

So what's something you've wanted to tell someone, but haven't? Or something you absolutely don't want to tell someone? Or have been fretting about? I'm no qualified therapist, but I am older than many of the people on this app, so maybe I can help. Even if I can't, I can hear it out.

I'll make mine public: The woman in my memories survived an attempt to exterminate her race, and I have no idea how to begin to handle that memory. I've tried to ignore it for months.

Mine's related to Retrospec stuff, but it doesn't have to be obviously.

[ On and OOC feel free to have your responses here assumed to be to her inbox for privacy if you want or have them be public for people. Specify if you want I'll roll with whatever ... or respond to her own admission if you want ]

Comments

[private]

[blessmefather]

You should be able to easily guess one of mine. Six people know not including Retrospec which I assume tracks our regained abilities, none of them are my best friend Tatsuo.

[private] is hereafter assumed

[matchbreaker]

I can, but if we're going to talk that I'd like one bit of framework off the bat:

What's the reason for the secrecy? To keep your job, keep people from worrying? Habit?

[blessmefather]

[ He had this conversation with Zee before but since she's a friend he figures he can get to the point a little quicker with her. ]

Vigilantism is a crime which could lead to getting disbarred and put my friends and coworkers in law enforcement in a difficult position if I told them. It's also for the safety of those associated with me as these things typically are.

Laws and safety aside, it's because not everyone, not even the people closest to me, would be able to handle the weight that comes with the truth.
Some people I call friends would have difficulty simply wrapping their minds around it.

private, suicide tw

[thesettingsun]

I've remembered three separate suicide attempts and have no way of knowing how many more there are.

private is hereafter assumed

[matchbreaker]

[ Holy shit.

... At least this is typed so she doesn't blurt that out where he can hear it. ]

That has to be incredibly traumatizing.

Private

[thisloveisjustice]

I've been telling a few close friends... But I'm still having trouble processing it.

The man I'm remembering, he killed people. They weren't good people, but it wasn't his place to pass judgement on them. Worse, his actions led to the death of an innocent bystander.

this is Private for the rest of this!!

[matchbreaker]

Vigilante or officer of the law? Soldier?

But that' good, honestly, that you've been telling close friends. That's better.

[Private]

[standalonehuman]

Oh, do I have questions, first of all to ask if you're all right? But to keep things on an even keel first:

The kidnappings in October, it brought back an incredibly bad memory from the other Togusa's life. Multiple friends of mine were victims, and I don't want to let it slip that they made me remember somebody even worse than the guy that hurt them.

This whole thing is [Private] then!

[matchbreaker]

I'm alright. About that, in any case - as much as I can be, with something I don't know how to process. I did get a really difficult to work with physical change earlier in the month, though.

I'm still thanking my stars I wasn't as involved with that as many others. No member of my family taken, and... that whole thing was awful. Honestly, I don't even know all the details to this day.

But alright. Do you want to tell me about it?

perma-privateland

[feistytrader]

Is that something you can really handle?
That sounds like something you just
survive.

[Has Elda really been sitting on something like that for months?]

[matchbreaker]

I don't know, honestly. I have no idea.

[ That or the whole tried to murder someone thing she told Silver already. ]

[vitis]

sounds like a good way to amass secrets

[matchbreaker]

Is it? I wouldn't look as it so cynically, but I guess.

[me_matey]

well i guess thats another thing we have in common

[matchbreaker]

[ She had mentioned something about a strange relationship to Japanese heritage before, hadn't she? Or something like that. But ... wow. ]

Christ, really? That's awful.

[lesinset]

[ this is going to be a video so here is Tarr doing his best impression of sulky grunge child looking at the camera, and then he smiles, showing off his upgraded vampire teeth. ]

Nothing really new in memories, but now I have the teeth. [ he has a very soft voice with the added bonus of there being a slight lisp because of all the sharp edges in his mouth. ] On the plus side, it's easier to bite things, but on the minus side, my business partner is calling me 'kitteh'.

[ well those teeth do look a lot like something seen in a cat's mouth, except the canines, which are poking out from his lips. ]

[matchbreaker]

[ Audio Only at first ]

You know, one of these days we need to run into each other in person. I didn't even recognize the voice. [ She laughs, and there's a little bit of shuffling on her end, by the sound of it her putting on some clothes or shifting blankets or something ] But oh, kitteh, that's cute!

private;

[manufactured]

Hopefully you're holding up well enough, despite some of the things I'm sure you've been told by now.

private;

[matchbreaker]

[ God she loves you, Albert. ]

I'm the one to asked for people's secrets, like Becket so clearly spelled out up there. But no, no, I'm holding out fine.

[insantafe]

Hey, there’s an idea - Retrospec therapists. If there are any on this network, they could make a killing helping some of us deal with whatever crazy memories they throw at us next. Though given all the variety of memories they've given everyone, we've probably all got something we'd rather not talk about.

I can’t say anyone would know how to deal with something like that, though. No matter what happened, that’s seriously messed up. But if she survived, that’s something, right?

[matchbreaker]

She survived, yes. Went on to live the rest of her life in a foreign country and made a family for herself there too, so it's a regular success story! In a way.

The only therapist I know on the network isn't fully licensed yet so I can't really recommend them to anyone in good faith. My own's still off the network, so I do need to dance a little.

[pseudonyms]

are you hoping that by helping other people you can help yourself figure out how to handle that memory?

[matchbreaker]

Honestly, I'm not holding my breath for that

Private

[heritrix]

[...it's been very hard to sleep lately. It's the reason why she sees this. After a few seconds pause to read, Rin's fingers skitter across her phone's keyboard like a minnow on water... only to dance back just as lightly. Tap, tap, tap. Start again, slower.]

Every time a Beyoncé song comes on the radio, I cringe.

Private

[matchbreaker]

What do you got against her?