retrospec | [text]

[ It's ass at night and Elda Marker, made more awake by the fact she keeps finding herself waking up later and later especially on weekends when her son doesn't have school is wide awake. As such, she makes her own variation on one of those cerebral posts a friend of hers makes sometimes: ]

So what's something you've wanted to tell someone, but haven't? Or something you absolutely don't want to tell someone? Or have been fretting about? I'm no qualified therapist, but I am older than many of the people on this app, so maybe I can help. Even if I can't, I can hear it out.

I'll make mine public: The woman in my memories survived an attempt to exterminate her race, and I have no idea how to begin to handle that memory. I've tried to ignore it for months.

Mine's related to Retrospec stuff, but it doesn't have to be obviously.

[ On and OOC feel free to have your responses here assumed to be to her inbox for privacy if you want or have them be public for people. Specify if you want I'll roll with whatever ... or respond to her own admission if you want ]

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I don't think so, but if that changes, I have emergency numbers stuck on my fridge. I'm seeing a Retrospec-aware therapist semi-regularly, if that helps.

... We have one of those? Are they on that emergency contacts list the Arisato girl runs?

Fai's on that list already, and he put up a notice on the network a while ago about individual counseling and group therapy sessions.

Oh, oh good! That gentleman! I confess I think I underestimate his age a lot, I thought he was still finishing his schooling.

I'm glad though, those are smart steps. My therapist's off the app still.

He technically doesn't have his license yet, but I'm not going to be picky.

[ . . . Well. ]

If that's working for you. I hope you aren't paying him then, though.

Edited 2018-03-19 21:40 (UTC)

Not a cent. Don't worry.

Good. That wouldn't be ethical on his part.

But seriously I got off topic there - are these all things you've remembered at once or periodically?

Periodically. The first one I remembered in June. The second one was in October from the fog, so those were unusual circumstances and I was hoping that was it, but then the third was this month as just a regular memory.

[ June was...? What happened in June to make it unusual? She ponders it for a moment but then pushes past that to instead drum her fingers on the laptop. ]

Sounds as if apart from being a jerk this fellow was not the mentally healthiest individual. I assume those are from before he became a ghost?

[It was the first one, that was what was unusual.]

Pre-ghostdom, I'm pretty sure. Past me could really have used therapy for a lot of reasons.

Then is a fear of yours that one of these days you'll get a suicide that followed through to death as a memory?

I think that was the first one. Don't ask me how I can tell the difference.

I wouldn't dream of it.

But do you find that reassuring in a weird way, or not?

No. The failed attempts are still awful to remember.

I'd think so, yeah.

So does that mean a lot of your memories are just this fellow's life before he was an ink spirit ghost thing?

Right. At least they're relatively easy to tell apart.

Locations, people, feeling?

If there are letters in the sky, it's not while I'm a normal living human.

what

That's something that only happens when you're inside a book. Ergo, only when I'm a spirit, after I died.

Oh did the spirit person just live in books full time or something?

No, just headed inside them to fight monsters. I can drop inside books here too, but I haven't found any monsters in Recolle's books. Score one for this world.

You mentioned the going in books thing before but monsters, really?

Wow.

They're called 'Taints' and they're probably the only reason I have a scythe.

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matchbreaker - 2018-03-29 20:50 (UTC) - Expand

thesettingsun - 2018-04-01 19:08 (UTC) - Expand