retrospec | [text]

[ It's ass at night and Elda Marker, made more awake by the fact she keeps finding herself waking up later and later especially on weekends when her son doesn't have school is wide awake. As such, she makes her own variation on one of those cerebral posts a friend of hers makes sometimes: ]

So what's something you've wanted to tell someone, but haven't? Or something you absolutely don't want to tell someone? Or have been fretting about? I'm no qualified therapist, but I am older than many of the people on this app, so maybe I can help. Even if I can't, I can hear it out.

I'll make mine public: The woman in my memories survived an attempt to exterminate her race, and I have no idea how to begin to handle that memory. I've tried to ignore it for months.

Mine's related to Retrospec stuff, but it doesn't have to be obviously.

[ On and OOC feel free to have your responses here assumed to be to her inbox for privacy if you want or have them be public for people. Specify if you want I'll roll with whatever ... or respond to her own admission if you want ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That they are. I know I've got a few things I wouldn't mind clarified. But then, my experience has also included plenty of memories out of nowhere. I'm not sure holding back discussion on that front is necessary? Or well, I guess that depends on every individual's line.

And it assumes that parsing through it like that helps you.

Aside from one or two things, I'd really happily pass on learning more about other-me's life. There are things I can't avoid, simply due to being in a related profession to his. Still, it can't hurt to ask.

Exactly. Some people like mulling things over in their head until they make sense and others like talking it out.

I feel as though the mulling does carry a more inherent risk of getting stuck in your own head though. Might be my bias...?

So, have you started to have an inclination to going vigilante in this life?

Oh, I agree with you. I have friends who are mullers, and if I wasn't a talker, they'd probably never tell me anything. Retrospec or otherwise.

No, I can't say that I have. If anything, I'm probably even less inclined.

[ Huh. She drums her fingers on the counter but... ]

Why's that? Not liking the logic?

It is one hell of a slippery slope to start going down. I can understand why a civilian would feel frustrated with the legal system and feel the need to take matters into their own hands (though I still don't really agree with that), because the system isn't perfect. We can do everything by the book and still fail people.

So I get why people feel justified in taking matters into their own hands. Sometimes you can't stand by while it seems like nothing is being done. Sometimes the law has loopholes. Sometimes the law offers no protection at all. But someone who helps enforce the law should know better than anyone else what can happen if you start stepping outside of it. The moment our credibility and integrity comes into question, everything we've done in the past can be called into question.

[ She considers for a long moment, tilting her head before she slowly makes to type out, ]

That's a very thoughtful response. Honestly, I think the perspective's good, and it's actually insightful. I agree with it, I think! It is also true though that many people - especially people who are getting more used to things being rough and tumble - are getting more used to leaping in before there's time to think.

Of course, that's one thing. A big plan outside of the law is another thing entirely.

Precisely. There's intervening because you are at the right place at the right time. There's coordinated efforts like citizen patrols and neighborhood watches. In those instances, people are acting as fellow citizens for fellow citizens. They can be called as witnesses if needed. The moment someone puts on a mask or actively goes looking for trouble, then things can start getting dodgy.

I'm not saying vigilantes can't do good. A friend of mine was saved from a very dangerous situation by one, and I'm extremely relieved he was. I can't help but be concerned about what could happen if that vigilante were to get out of hand.

What's even the line for out of hand though? Assault? Murder? I mean, definitely murder, but does it come up before then?

I think it would come up before. The difficulty is where does stopping a crime end and punishing a crime begin? It is the punishing that concerns me, I think, because that is what circumvents the law the most.

To begin with it assumes rehabilitation isn't practical or maybe even possible.

And that the individual has the authority and knowledge to make that call.

Yeah, that's true too.

Though I suppose some vigilantes might operate on the idea no one else is willing to do "common sense."

Indeed. At the very least, they probably believe that of the local law enforcement.

Yeah.

Anyway if that's how you think, I suppose it's more you're being eaten by the memories than you think the logic's worth following?

Something like that. Some of his memories are kind of intense.

Emotionally, content wise? Both?

Both. Definitely both. He's usually pretty calm and collected, but when something provokes an emotional reaction from him, it's like he jumps to the end of the scale.

[ . . . ]

You had said it doesn't linger with you too much. Or does it?

For me, I do find myself thinking things like "ah, how human of them" when someone is being violent or stupid up until I catch myself.

Mostly, I don't think it does. With a few notable exceptions I have informed close friends to be on the watch for.

And here you said you weren't being honest.

But oh, good on you then!

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