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( ...! catches the slight spring weather in that smile, and not entirely understanding it but feeling satisfied he seems to have said something right, though he disagrees with wataru - there's just something about him that makes it seem as if miai has learned so little about him even if numerically he may have learned some high numerical amount.

he laughs, though. )

He's wonderful, isn't he? ( and he says this with a great amount of warmth. ) He's quite the epicurean— I've never known him to pass up a bowl of fruit when offered ripe.

( well, )

Not to reduce you to a fruit, Monsieur. Simply that he appreciates fine things as he sees them.

( platonically said, )

If it's any consolation, you wouldn't be wrong to reduce me to a fruit. [ with a wink, unabashed about it. ] But thank you. I suppose he must appreciate you most of all, in that case?

[ friendily said, ]

( he's about to laugh, which then gets caught in his throat because wataru just keeps talking and

miai coughs really bad, Really Uncool. )

It's not so fair to tease me like that. ( jeez...! ) But I would hope I'm at least high up on the list. Ah, perhaps I should grow out my hair like you . . . I doubt you worry about how much your partner appreciates you, hm?

( he is. assuming wataru has dated since what happened in high school. )

I've always been poor at maintaining longer relationships, despite my best efforts . . . But I'd really like to learn. Even a thrill-seeker like me would prefer to settle down eventually.

[ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm they're next, so he'll wait for them to have their drinks before he continues any point of this conversation; just a black coffee for him, nothing else in it. he'll let miai order too, and also, since miai is paying, that too.

...they're going to be back outside by the time he pipes up even, sipping his hot coffee and starig straight ahead. ]

I'm flattered that you think anyone would have dated me between then and now, monsieur lionceau. Well, I suppose I've had a great many admirers, but my standards are strict and grow stricter by the year... [ an easy excuse that isn't "i never got over getting fucked literally and figuratively", and one that isn't entirely untrue; he does have pressing standards. it's just, right now, there's someone who's piquing a few of them, a bit. ] I've had to turn them all down, unfortunately.

[ he pauses, mm. ]

I do wish you the best of luck though. [ with the relationship thing. ] Mankind does all sorts of wonderful, miraculous things simply by putting their mind to it, after all.

( as promised, miai orders himself tea with dry fruits - and, judging from his reaction when he takes a sip, he's satisfied with what he's ordered.

he waits until wataru chooses to speak again, sensing he may have, perhaps, said wrongly somewhere in his response, given wataru has always been so quick to respond before. and, ah, yeah - it seems so. )

Thank you. And, mm, that much is true. It's why I think that, despite everything . . . Despite everything, I have yet to leave the realm of humans in pursuit of Heaven. Humans are by far too fascinating to turn my gaze from.

( mm, he lets his drink linger at his mouth, its capped rim pressing softly at his lips. )

I do hope you as well attain whatever it is you put your mind to as well. Perhaps the happiest end for each man is not in itself love, so I don't mean to presume it must be for you . . . But if it is, I hope you obtain it; and if it isn't, I hope as much for you as well.

What separates us from beasts, often, is that we strive to be happy, rather than simply to live . . . Such a shame that the former is much harder than the latter. But we all must pursue it, mustn't we? Even when life makes us reluctant.

( and that is about as much about himself as it is wataru, as he's spent a good amount of time sullen and wallowing; or reaching out, but self-destructive. )

Edited 2018-10-05 09:54 (UTC)

There's happiness to be found in simply living, [ almost chiding, flicking his hair slightly when he glances at miai with a smile, ] mais oui, d'accord.

[ because he does— striving to be happy, going beyond the happiness that simply living can afford, people... humans must do that. wanting to better, wanting to do better, a cycle of continuous improvement. that way of thinking melds better than simple "happiness" to him though, and he gives him a wink, friendly. ]

Love is... [ he starts softly, giving a gesture with the hand holding his lidded cup. ] Mmm, well, it would be silly to love France as much as I do and not enjoy love to an extent, non? I don't mind hearing of others' happinesses, lionceau, and in truth, I'm happy with the love I have.

[ platonic, he means. romance can suck his toes, nonsexily. ]

...But maybe I simply haven't met the right people, [ he continues, much more jovially, teasing at miai's words from their time at the amusement park. never mind miai had hit on him and, ] We'll see in time, won't we?

You tease me. I only said it out of good concern for you.

( he knows what wataru's referring back to!! and he puffs out a breath like he's pouting at being teased, but is clearly joking - which masks that, mm, deep down in the little petty part of him, embarrassed as he is to admit he was hitting on wataru at all, it was sort of advice ("advice") meant for him and wataru, not to bring wataru closer to others.

not that he can really complain, can he? he can't expect charming people to stay single forever, given that's the only other option when miai himself is taken and doesn't intend to change his coupling. )

But, so long as you're happy - and what choice do I have but to trust you when you say it? - then I'm happy for you as well.

It's only that . . . If it is a matter of time, it's a matter of time. This love took years to come into fruition, after much fruitless pursuit - endless dead ends . . . But I think it may have been worth it, after all. Things come not to those who wait, but those who pursue.

( pithy sayings aside, he gradually shifts the topic. he ... would like wataru to be happy, and in a sense he reaffirms to himself that he'd prefer to stick with leo, so - wataru is free to attach himself elsewhere. )

Ah, but perhaps I only like love talk so much because I never had a chance when I was of age. I grew up all around adults - for them, love was an instinctive function; there was very little gossip of it. ( love of god, love of humans as the general concept of man, ) Well, I was expected to some except to be a small adult myself - which I suppose had its advantages as well as disadvantages. I never got much chance to be spoiled . . . but they did offer me independence greater than what most children might have.

( though, at the time, being praised for working hard and being encouraged when he failed, rather than disparaged - that in itself was spoiling enough for him. )

Edited 2018-10-06 19:16 (UTC)

Ah, is that the heart of your desire to be a lion? They get to laze about and be spoiled as well.

[ teasing, still— he'll make fun of miai as much as he wants, slowly warming the mood again. warming to the mood, too. there's no sense in letting a few errant words ruin it; neither of them know much about each other, regardless of what at least one of them says. it's natural to catch themselves on bumps and cracks, hesitating to balance themselves once more, and then continuing on.

that's simply how life is. he brings his cup up again, not to drink but to let the heat hover near his face. he's not bad with the cold, but this does feel nice. speaking of bumps— of cracks— wataru considers the question lingering in his mind and thinks there's no harm, maybe, in asking it. miai's not as affiliated with that type of thing now, as he'd said, so... ]

I'd offer to indulge your love talk, but what relations I had are less than serious and inappropriate for the public's ears. Of course, if only you'd learn French a little quicker... [ a soft laugh, a joke. ] Do you have any outside of your conversions and ta petite chance? Leo, that is.

( he has no choice, he's got to increase his duolingo workload,

more genuinely, he knows all of it is some mixture of wataru teasing him and making conversation. he isn't used to being teased - or rather, having someone capable of teasing him whom he couldn't as often successfully tease back - but he's gradually falling in step with wataru's pace, even as he tries not to lose sense of his own.

mm, he takes a sip. )

No, I don't have anyone beside him at all. God comes second.

( so, no conversions, no flings, no cancelled sunday dates. it's a little bold a statement for someone still hesitant to actually leave rosetis, but ... well, that's where he hesitates - it is the fact that he knows he's placed god behind leo - and at one point leo in His place - but that does he place god second to anything else? can he truly leave this cozy den he so deeply adores? those are separate questions. the question of leo, though, he's had enough time to ponder. )

... I used to, in the past - with someone I loved just as much. ( leo, again, but he doesn't really care to explain their full history by name to wataru. ) I had them, and I had my conversions, and I had the pleasure Rosetis taught me, that told me to live for God through flesh - through personal pleasure.

I lost them in the end, and it's not an experience I care to repeat. I was a little dramatic proclaiming God comes second, but I'd like to think this falls still within His realm. A merciful God would offer His word to guide us and help us . . . So what point is there if following Him only punishes us? It seems terribly unfair.

( ... he says this, but he already knows every argument against it - every rebuke he himself has used against those questioning god's testament, and how to coax would-be runaways back into believing. it's why he struggles so much with himself, because the rhetoric is carved into the bones of his body that hold the whole of him. )

Edited (me: change the icon you picked before you send the tag, me: forgets) 2018-10-07 05:02 (UTC)

[ it sounds complicated and... terrible, something that leaves a bad taste in his mouth; he swallows it back with his coffee, thinking of tori and glad, honestly, the influence of those people is so little here. that the one person who could influence him wouldn't. ]

God isn't fair. No god ever has been, if we want to track into several other religions—mythologies, we call them now—for proof.

[ another sip, a small shrug. ]

Monsieur, if a man does good all his life—he provides for his family and friends, he works to improve himself, he donates to charity, he's altogether a picture perfect altruist—but he does not believe in God, is he still allowed into Heaven? I've heard plenty of people say no. [ which to him, is unfair. someone doing things from the good of their heart because it's right, rather than because they have someone telling them a moral guideline... ]

...Ah, but we've drifted off topic, haven't we.

[ from love lives, from light conversation. ]

Well, I don't mind indulging you in this, either. [ a soft chuckle against his cup. ] You seem very in your element with this. It almost makes me want to attend a service to see if you're the same there.

( wataru is right in a sense that he'd always passively, thoughtlessly accepted, and to have the uncomfortable truth of a matter held up wriggling before him gave him discomfort. there was a place for men like that; it was not heaven, nor was it hell - but, that, too, was another topic less fit for discussion, and more for something to miai to chew on over time. )

I apologize; I only seem to embarrass myself. Rosetis has simply been so much of his life that it comes so easy to my lips.

( about a decade of it, to be exact, and he in some ways is still a child himself. )

I appreciate the thought, regardless - there, I'm about the same as you see me now when I speak of God, except I go on longer.

( which in itself is a feat, given how much he talks already. )

It's not likely very interesting to someone with no interest in God Himself.

Non, not really, but I have an interest in you, and I think that makes it worth the time wasted.

[ ...not in a romantic way, and with how easily he says it it shouldn't be mistaken as such; but he also knows he's been flirted with off and on, but miai has reaffirmed to the both of them he loves leo and just leo... so he isn't too worried about how it's taken. ]

( while wataru's train of thought is entirely logical and fair, reality is slightly more cruel. it's really just fortunate that wataru's charming air is just enough offset by wataru's usual rude remarks that miai isn't worse off, but wataru has also been pretty decent today. tch. )

When you say things like that, I'm not at all surprised you have tales you can only regale in French.

( he answers back as a joke, making light of the matter as if to draw a clear line. in any case, he doesn't think wataru would genuinely hit on him when he knows miai is taken, given wataru's had an issue already flirting with a married man ...

... but then again, wataru would probably never genuinely flirt with him at all, if miai understood him right. he can understand some of tori's frustrations now - it seemed to be a part of wataru's nature to converse through latent teasing. )

Still, you flatter me entirely too much ♪ I can't imagine what's so interesting about me. Well, I suppose I should thank Tori, for garnering me the attention of such a charming man? A little short of a gentleman, but still good company.

[ wataru smiles at the line, though it drops into a mock pout as he huffs, turning his nose up slightly, eyes closing. ]

I'll have you know, monsieur, I am the ideal gentleman. Peak performance, even! I open doors for people, I read bedtime stories to children, I hold hands when crossing the street... [ ...his list makes this obvious he's joking, the pout curving into a grin he can't help as well; he peeks open one eye, winking at miai, and chuckles. ] I'll recount the ways you interest me some other time, lionceau, I wouldn't want to overload you with flattery. You'll start sending me reminder texts that you're in a relationship otherwise.

Oh? It seems like you know me quite well already . . . ♪ But since you're such a gentleman, I've trusted you'd to be a courteous escort for such a maiden in love as myself ♪

( he Sweat for his bf he's allowed to be obnoxious about him!!! regardless, )

That aside, are you in the mood for anything in particular? There's plenty of theatres and arcades nearby, as well as stores . . . Ah, I think there's a toy store near by, too . . . I wonder if I should get something for Tori while we're here? ♪

( tori's, like, six, right, )

[ tori just turned five how dare you, ]

Hmmm, let's see... ♪ Petit oiseau would probably be upset if I didn't! Especially since I'm out with his favorite person... Something that will soothe that inevitable anger of his, for us two meeting so carelessly like this... [ ...♪ ] Let's shop, lionceau! There's nothing as fun as doing so with friends, is there?

I'm glad you understand me so completely ♪ I enjoy buying things for other people, besides. So shopping with friends, for friends, is no less than my ideal ♪

( he loves spending money - despite nowhere near rolling in it - in short. off in the direction of the store...! )

If you see something you like, too, don't hesitate to let me know. I suppose there are stores for accessories and clothing, too, but there's no shame in growing attached to a little ballerina doll, too. Maybe we can get something matching with Tori, in fact.

Vraiment, un vrai gentleman, ce monsieur!

[ ♪ well, he's glad miai's treating this time, toys are expensive, ]

Something matching with him though, hm...? He'd be happy to match with you, mais avec moi...? [ ... ] He doesn't completely hate me, so perhaps ♪

( nowhere near as expensive as toys for alexander, so his perspective may be skewed. he laughs. )

You doubt his affection for you so thoroughly ♪ Is he really so acrid with you?

[ ...mmm. wataru twists his hair in his fingers, mulling it over. ]

Sometimes, but he hasn't left yet despite his continuous statements saying he's going to, so perhaps they're only a bluff as I've been calling them to be... I can't help but worry, though, that he would, one day.

( my, the monsieur is more insecure than he expected. he makes a thoughtful sound. )

Well, let's say this— If he he did away genuinely, what do you think the reason would be?

Edited 2018-10-14 01:55 (UTC)

[ he can't help but worry about tori, who couldn't make it on his own— wataru still has more to teach him, tori still has more to learn... there are many things he doesn't want the boy to experience for himself, that's all. ]

Why, he got tired of me, of course! Not everyone is as big of a fan of how I act as you are, lionceau. [ even then, he isn't sure how much miai actually likes how he acts— ] Ah, he wounds me so, always calling me annoying and such... He complains about me treating him like a child as well, but he's as old as my younger sister, lionceau, and I treat her just the same!

[ ...a helpless little hand gesture, his theatrics ever at odds with the topic, with his feelings. ]

( mmmm ... he thinks about this, genuinely, for a few moments. )

Well ... though my knowledge of him is a little bit dated, outside of our contact through letters and the like . . . I'm sure you have a sense of it by now, but he's heralded as the voice of God . . . and had more authority than a person should, even when he was young. Even myself— it took me time to work up to my position.

( he says that, but he's among the youngest, if not the youngest, to attain the ranks that he has on his path. )

Perhaps he simply doesn't know well what to do with being treated as his age, rather than as an authority . . . nor is he sure how to take being told what to do, when he was often the one to give orders.

I think I'm a little bit guilty of this, myself— myself, I was treated as an adult when I was young with Rosetis, too, and felt the next generation would be better off spared. When I tried to care for him as a child, I think I only spoiled him . . . I think, perhaps, he only grew more convinced his word was absolute.

( idly, he swings his hands behind his back, clasping one at the wrist. )

But, I think, it's because of that— I think it's best that you treat him as you do, because I think there is perhaps . . . an intrinsic part of childhood locked within how others treat you, and I think he gets something valuable from your chastising, something that I didn't get . . . and he seems better already than I was at his age.

So, perhaps he doesn't consciously know it, but I think you've done him good, Monsieur, and it's not a thing he can find from just anyone. Perhaps he knows that, or perhaps he'll know it if he ever really tries . . . and perhaps I'm simply optimistic in thinking he won't stay serious about it for long ♪ But if it really troubles you, I'll scold him for teasing you— the Monsieur is quite soft-hearted if I recall correctly, yes?

He is, but he'd also be embarrassed if you stepped into his affairs. [ would he really be though, ] But, mmm, speaking of le lionceau, does he want a little chastisement to make up for lost time? ♪ You're never too old to grow, and perhaps Monsieur would do well to have a few unkind words whispered into his ear.

[ i'm screaming into my hands i want to die ]

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