[text] i could say i'm sorry but i'm not (except i am. i really, really am.)

[frostythehitman]

I've finally got this song together, but I'm still stumped on the title. I'm putting the lyrics in here for anyone who's got any ideas. Consider this an open call for song title suggestions.


Lyrics:
You punched a hole in my heart, and now
I'm an empty vessel, waiting for the music to fill the blank spaces.
What am I supposed to do now?
Nothing left but to forget all the sneering faces

I feel like a forgotten bag of chips abandoned on the streets, my soul shattered and scattering to the winds like potato leaves.
I’d break the whole world if I could
Just to make sure no one ever has to grieves
Again, and I'd break the whole world but I don't think that I should

The emptiness inside of me is hardening like cement
And now there's nothing that can fit through the cracks and spaces
Nothing left but to watch the spiraling descent
Nothing left but to remember all the sneering faces

I feel like a forgotten bag of chips abandoned on the streets, my soul shattered and scattering to the winds like potato leaves.
I’d break the whole world if I could
Just to make sure no one ever has to grieves
Again, and I'd break the whole world but I don't think that I should

[fade out]

Comments

[samuraisoul]

The bit about chips and potato leaves feels very out of place. Perhaps enough so that it distracts from the rest of the lyrics, drowning our your message? The rhyming is a little awkward in that part as well... in another song it could work beautifully but here I am not so sure.

[He's a poet who loves metaphors, but goodness, this one is strange! Already Jūbei is trying to think up sentences that would match the syllables and rhyme well while fitting the rest of the song, but he's not rude enough to actually throw them in out of nowhere. Tempting as it is.]

Titles though... a difficult one.

[frostythehitman]

Look, I came here asking for song titles, not lyrical criticism. Besides, if you think it would work better in another song, let's see you come up with it!