[text] i could say i'm sorry but i'm not (except i am. i really, really am.)

[frostythehitman]

I've finally got this song together, but I'm still stumped on the title. I'm putting the lyrics in here for anyone who's got any ideas. Consider this an open call for song title suggestions.


Lyrics:
You punched a hole in my heart, and now
I'm an empty vessel, waiting for the music to fill the blank spaces.
What am I supposed to do now?
Nothing left but to forget all the sneering faces

I feel like a forgotten bag of chips abandoned on the streets, my soul shattered and scattering to the winds like potato leaves.
I’d break the whole world if I could
Just to make sure no one ever has to grieves
Again, and I'd break the whole world but I don't think that I should

The emptiness inside of me is hardening like cement
And now there's nothing that can fit through the cracks and spaces
Nothing left but to watch the spiraling descent
Nothing left but to remember all the sneering faces

I feel like a forgotten bag of chips abandoned on the streets, my soul shattered and scattering to the winds like potato leaves.
I’d break the whole world if I could
Just to make sure no one ever has to grieves
Again, and I'd break the whole world but I don't think that I should

[fade out]

Comments

[frostythehitman]

How is it goofy? The words 'abandoned' and 'forgotten' are both in that same line!

[liberal_arts]

It also has the term 'potato leaves'. I just don't think it matches the other imagery in a way that supports them. You can reference litter in a non-specific way, perhaps, to keep up the street-related metaphors?

[frostythehitman]

Potato chips are already litter, how am I supposed to make it more litter-y than that?

[liberal_arts]

Why not newspaper? That tends to be common street litter, right?

[frostythehitman]

Yeah, like people read physical newspapers now. People still eat potato chips all the time! Newspapers are dead, chips live forever.

[liberal_arts]

You seem to feel pretty attached to this potato chip imagery. Any particular reason?

[frostythehitman]

It's like, the best line I've written all month. I'm not just gonna toss something that great out! It deserves to be heard.

[liberal_arts]

Maybe it will sound better in performance.

Either way, give some consideration if it doesn't go over well with audiences.

[frostythehitman]

Hey, my lyrics are just fine, and so is my music! You'll see once I release this song and people love it.

[liberal_arts]

I'm open to being proven wrong.

[frostythehitman]

Well good, because you will be.

I'll even get you a ticket to my first show where I'll be debuting the song, if you want.

[liberal_arts]

Get me five. I'll bring some friends who are open to being proven wrong, as well.

[frostythehitman]

Five it is. Heck, have ten. Bring everyone you can manage.

[liberal_arts]

I hope that doesn't cut too deeply into your gate earnings.

[frostythehitman]

Don't worry, I'll consider your minds getting blown as adequate payment.

[liberal_arts]

Well you certainly have the right attitude for an uncompromising artist. Let's see if that pays off for you.

[frostythehitman]

Is that a bet?

[liberal_arts]

If you sufficiently impress my friends and I, I'll not only pay you for the tickets, I'll foot the bill on your next studio session.

[frostythehitman]

You're on.