retrospec | (no subject)

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Happy New Years, users.

I'll cut to the chase; the barrier we instilled a few months ago is decaying quickly and we're sorting through the new data as fast as we can. This barrier was originally designed to contain a rogue error. There are several of you who have taken care of this issue and from here we will handle the rest...thank you. The influx of data will help us decode our next steps.

As mentioned, we've spent December tracing several magical sources that are coming up in our readings. We're doing the best we can to trace Clarence--Mr. Vanderweele, and corral the effects he's altering in the city. I believe we're ready to tear down the firewall and begin exploring further. If our information is correct, we're really breaking the boundaries of the layers we've discovered lately! It's exciting, don't you think?

The only information I can offer is that we will need you to be strong no matter what happens. We believe things have changed outside of security measures we've set in place, though we will need more data to understand the best way to stabilize the city from his control. We understand if you cannot and do not wish to help, but please know we're doing everything we can.

Please take care.

Joanne Wiseman
Technician 2nd class
Retr

spec Incorporated

Characters' display names are the same as whatever has been previously chosen and are permanently locked in!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No. I’m just saying you don’t have fault in what happened.

Can I ask you something?

[ It'd be so easy for her to agree, to sweep away all her fault. It's what she instinctively wants to do, but she's remembered enough to know just how like Four that is.

She leaves her fault aside. ]

You may ask.

[ it was my fault. ]

How are you with your family?

[ stop blaming yourself for something that couldn't be stopped, eren.

Clover is dumb, but she's not stupid. She sees his thread with Lina. ]

I imagine Lina's told you enough.

Since October. And Rose. And Jasmine when she was still on the app.
But that’s only their side.

If you know all that, it's not hard to figure out how I'm doing.

I'm not doing well.

With my sisters or with myself.

How much of it has to do with what you’re all remembering?

Of course, part of it has to do with that, but it's not all of it.

We've been broken since before Retrospec appeared in our lives, and they all choose to keep us broken in their own way.

There’s no way to put the pieces together?

If it were possible, don't you think it would have happened already? If it were possible, shouldn't it have happened already? If there was a way, shouldn't I have thought of it already? Shouldn't WE have?

SHOULDN'T WE BE A FAMILY? But WE'RE NOT. WE'RE NOT A FAMILY ANYMORE!

JASMINE IS OFF RETROSPEC AND HAS PROBABLY GONE BACK TO HATING ROSE AND THINKING THAT EVERYTHING IS ROSE'S FAULT AGAIN. I'M TOO SCARED AND TOO GUILTY TO LOOK AT ROSE HALF THE TIME. VIOLET IS HERSELF AND DOESN'T TRY OR TRIES TOO LATE BECAUSE SHE'S OFF IN HER OWN LOONY WORLD AND DOESN'T WANT TO TALK LIKE SHE'S IN THIS WORLD. LINA FUCKING VICTIMIZES HERSELF EVEN AFTER SHE TELLS US SHE'S "NOT DOING THANKSGIVING." A "DINNER WON'T FIX OUR FAMILY." NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK! OF COURSE IT WOULDN'T!

IT DOESN'T TAKE A FUCKING ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE THAT OUT. IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T TAKE A STUPID LITTLE FOOD BLOGGER.

DOES THAT MEAN WE SHOULD STOP TRYING? DOES IT?

FUCK THAT FUCK HER FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK THIS I'M DONE I'M TIRED I HATE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING

I HATE IT ALL

[ She types all that out before she registers it, and when she does, she deletes it.

Worst of all, she'd still do anything for her family to be whole again. She thinks, if destroying the world would mean her family could be whole again, she would. Even if she hates her family more than the entire world sometimes. Even if she hates the entire world more than her family. Even if she hates herself most of all.

Even if she didn't hate anything, she would. ]

I would like to think it's possible.

My family is the most important thing to me in the whole world. I would do anything for my family. I would do anything for my family to be whole again.

[ eren knows a story like this one.

he’d do anything, anything in the world, for his family. even if it meant he’d become the world’s enemy, even if it meant he wouldn’t be a part of that family anymore. to see them whole sufficed eren more than being a part of it. he’d do anything. ]

Like to and what it is are never going to be the same things.

Life isn't fair, but it should be.

If you work hard enough, your efforts should be rewarded, but that's not how it is.

I'm really tired, Eren.

I know the feeling too personally.

Did something new happen?

I remembered enough to change.

Me and Elliot argued a few weeks ago but things haven’t been the same since . . . A while. I don’t know what to do to turn things around before I can’t.

Edited 2019-01-28 02:05 (UTC)

What did you argue about?

What is it that you need to turn around? If you feel that something has turned and should be turned back, pinpointing that may lead somewhere.

That I understood my past self, what I did, and I don’t feel like there’s a big difference between us. In the same situation I’d do it all again.

It was that or let humanity drop dead.

[ ... ]

Eren. You want to be a paramedic now.

Before I say anything more, why do you think you two are that similar?

I haven’t even been thinking about Paramedicine lately.

[ . . . ]

Because I’d do the same thing. I’d make the same choices under the same circumstance. Especially when there was no other choice I agreed with.

Edited 2019-01-30 11:16 (UTC)

[ ... ]

I think you should think about paramedicine more.

Even if you would make the same choices in those same circumstances, that doesn't mean you're in that situation now.

Please remember that.

I don’t know if that’s the safest thing to do.

Not rejecting the idea, I’m just really not sure.

Why do you have to paint yourself in the same shade as your past self? Why do you have to think of it as, "If I were in that position, would I do the same thing?"

Are you so deep into your new memories that's all you can think of?

Is it really moving forward if you're thinking backwards?

I’m not
I’m not
I’m not thinking backwards

[ when you get served by your sister

honestly, it takes a while for him to reply. ]

no

[ because how could he tell her that she’s wrong, there, when she wasn’t? ]

If you'll remember something else, remember you once told me you wanted a choice outside of what the past Eren had. If you were so similar to the other Eren, you would still have a short life expectancy.

You no longer have that. You are beyond that.

You are no longer him.

[ She may be serving him, but she is also projecting. To see Eren thinking he was so like the person in his memories is something she can't accept. She can't stand it for herself, and she won't let Eren think it, no matter how true it is or not.

They are words she has tried to tell herself. They are words she is trying to tell him.

It's selfish. ]

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private that shit was LIT

private https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkIWmsP3c_s

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