> Post kittens.

[alienates]

Karkat Vantas shared a photo. 3/24 near Apprassage

You are goddamn welcome, everyone.
At least now, no matter what kind of a shitstained day you've been having, you can say you saw newborn kittens.

[ timeline-wise this is a little later in the afternoon, so like for high schoolers it'd be after school ends for the day, etc. ]

Comments

[alienates]

And why exactly are you asking me this?

[ in this thread: karkat avoiding saying yes. ]

[true_noir]

It might explain why you don't know quite so much about the topic. But it isn't that important, if you'd rather I not pry. I will, though, promise not to tease and try to set you up on a date.

[alienates]

I never said I didn't know much about the topic!
I just didn't get why you personally were spending so much money.

[ he knows nothing on the topic? he has been on two dates and neither of them were actually real dates it's hilarious. ]

[true_noir]

Because I wished to impress her, and then later so we could have fun, and because I want her to have nice things? My, you really haven't done much dating.

[...]

I am tempted to suggest that I take you on a 'proper' friend's "date" and show you the bill afterwards. It might be educational. One of these days, you are going to find that right person after all.

[Seriously... she was starting to think of Karkat as a personal project. The boy needed help.]

[alienates]

We are most definitely not doing that.
This is turning into a sitcom plotline and I REFUSE to live this way.

---------

That is the line. I just drew it.

[true_noir]

[Chloe inserted a laugh track image into the file she replied with and smiled as she did so.]

This feels like the moment to include that. Ah, but I have an idea that is not quite so stereotypical, and does not involve us awkwardly staring at each other across a table of food while the audience makes whooping sounds. I could plan out a date that will never happen, and tell you what it would cost. Sort of a "budget" of a date, if you will.

You would not even have to put your shoes on.

[alienates]

I am highly suspicious and everything you are saying is not alleviating that.

1/2

[true_noir]

Give me just a moment. I will do it now. Then you won't have to be suspicious anymore!

Well, about this anyway. I think you are always a little suspicious, Karkat.

2/2 - Poor Karkat

[true_noir]

[So, it did take her a minute or two to track down some information so that she could do this properly. She'd been free of the dating scene for a few years now because somebody was across the ocean from her, so the costs were 'roaming charges,' and apple ipads were handy for controlling that, but she found it easily enough.]

Right, so your average date is Dinner + Something. You eat and you go out to do something fun, or you do something fun, and you eat. Let's pretend it isn't a first date. Those always cost more, if you want a second date anyway.

Dinner: Say you're going to Applebees or Chili's, a regular restaurant, but not an expensive one. They have those 2 for 20 or 2 for 25 meals, right? Add drinks for 2-3 dollars each and tip, and it's usually going to be about $30-40 dollars for dinner at a restaurant. If you choose fast food, it's going to be $10-18. If you go to a nice restaurant, it's closer to $70-120 depending on how nice. There's a difference between a Habachi Grill where they cook you ahi tuna and going to Red Lobster after all.

Other things:
Movies: I checked the prices and they're higher than I remember. 10-15 dollars a ticket unless it's the matinee, then it's 6-8. Popcorn and snacks are 10-15 dollars extra.
Zoo: Fifteen a head to get in. If you eat there instead of the restaurant, it's Chili's prices. I went once. If you eat elsewhere it's like before. About 20 bucks if you buy a souvenir, and at the very least, you're spending five dollars to stay hydrated while you're there.
Art Museum: Free, but there's usually an exhibit that's special and runs you 5-10 each. Can be cheap, but you only get to do it once in a while unless they're really into the art museum.

Lots of other options, some cheaper than others. Gas is probably about $5, really. Bus is close to that, but most people don't take the bus. Most people that are dating go out once a week.

Let's just say you do a cheap meal of $20 for fast food and $20 for the movies, and the two of you trade off who's paying, you might get away with 80-100 a month. But then you're always doing the exact same thing, and you're just going out to Taco Bell like you would with a friend. It probably just becomes friends, more than dating, because that's really what you're doing. If you're trying to be romantic, you're probably going to spend closer to 50 and sometimes 80-100 on dates, and these days it's normal to trade off who pays so you can both afford to go out more. You're still paying 150-200 a month on the low end.

Dating is for people with jobs, or a lot of creativity, Karkat. I haven't even told you how much Cologne, Perfume, Makeup, New Clothes, Valentine's day and Birthday gifts amount to...

[alienates]

Hmmmmm.
Ok I decided.
Whenever I start dating someone I am going to keep tabs on the expenses, and when they end up being lower than the number you gave me, I am going to shove it in your face.

[true_noir]

Only if you are actually able to keep the relationship for longer than a month and a half. It's only fair that we're talking about ongoing relationships here, not short attempts.

[alienates]

Deal.
Challenge accepted, etc etc
If I prove I can do this and both of us are happy then I want a handwritten letter from you stating that you were wrong.

[true_noir]

And what are the conditions for failure, I should wonder? We keep doing these little challenges. It is becoming quite the 'thing' for us, is it not?

[alienates]

We don't have a thing.
You get to pick what happens if I lose though.
Which won't happen.

[true_noir]

You say that now, but I have my doubts on both counts. Perhaps I will make you admit that there is definitely a thing. That seems fair, considering that we are trading admissions and letters of being wrong.

I think three failed attempts might work. Setting a date hardly seems fair, or appropriate. Can't rush such a thing.

[alienates]

Oh no, I had no plans to set dates for this.
That would be a clear recipe for fucking disaster.
But let's virtually shake hands on this agreement.
Also it's still not a thing.

[true_noir]

Consider this a handshake, virtually. And it will definitely be a thing when you fail. Much as I believe in exceptions, it is hard to keep them going regularly as a rule. I've beaten others of your challenges before, and this will be no exception.

[alienates]

You beat exactly one of them.
Don't pretend like we had more than just that one.

[true_noir]

One is more than enough to entitle me to be a little bit smug, Karkat. When I have accomplished two, you will be forced to say "Best three out of Five," and continue to move the goal line. You will see I am right about this, just like the last, soon enough.

[alienates]

Oh man, I cannot wait until you eat those words.
I hope you know how to season your meal with shit other than salt because believe me, your tears that will drip onto them it will be salty enough.

[true_noir]

[Ok, between this doofus and May, Chloe was finally beginning to understand the fun of trolling. It was just shit-talking back and forth and not caring if you sounded foolish to an extent. And Karkat jumped to just about any bait she tossed out there, which was the best part. He was like a punching bag to practice on.]

I am French, so of course I know how to season properly. You will see this soon enough, when you are eating a slice of what they call the humble pie. I am told it is delicious, in small doses.

[alienates]

I wouldn't know, but hey, you should tell me about it!
Maybe once you master that recipe you'll even be able to spend less money on dates because you'll be able to make your own dessert. How great.

[true_noir]

Silly boy. There is mostly tragedy to it, but one small advantage of a long distance relationship is that it is much less expensive. My money goes into savings usually instead. I will not resume the expenses of a love life until I have her here again near me.

[alienates]

That still does not make what I said any less true.

[true_noir]

I will have to keep it in consideration. You know, if you ever do manage to forcefeed me some of the stuff and get me the recipe. We may both be waiting for quite a while. I suspect your cooking skills are not quite up to snuff teaching me this lesson yet.