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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa If it actually had gotten to someone in the Human Resources department, I can't bring myself to go off on them for problems that universally seem to be the programmers' faults.
Hitori Togusa Even the fact that it didn't get to them? It's a problem with the application. IT department or programming.
Hitori Togusa Some poor salaryman in HR doesn't deserve that vitriol. I'm saving it for the right target.

[godcards]

Oh, you know, some people like to make their fallout public... drag everyone else down to be miserable with them. Although I'm not keen to be involved in a lover's spat either.

You say 'at least' as if I care for cats in the first place, and people aren't calling my name cute.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa I've run into quite a few of us. There's a handful of us within the police department, initially born in other countries. We gravitate together, I think.
Hitori Togusa So what brought you to Recolle in the first place?

[darkinferno]

[Hey there, Retrospec. Have a selfie--and for those who've met him, it's pretty obvious that there's a pretty marked change to his appearance. His eyes have changed from their usual icy blue to a much brighter aqua.]



Nyante Cattailen if this is supposed to be some sort of april fools joke i'm not ducking laughing
Nyante Cattailen *ducking
Nyante Cattailen * L U C K I N G
Nyante Cattailen goshdarnit
Nyante Cattailen i hate this silly piece of shut app

[redarm]

Noah Robin Catbell whoa.

[judicatus]

Noah Barkbranth Did I not advise you to keep your head down

[ wait. wait, what ]

Noah Barkbranth "Barkbranth"?
Noah Barkbranth I don't think they even tried.

[darkinferno]

Nyante Cattailen what is it noah
Nyante Cattailen i don't have the patience for the bull shot today
Nyante Cattailen just say what you want to say

[counteracts]

[...well, duck.]

then I'd expect you'd be a little better at it, then

[He was forced into this and he's grumpy and, as far as he's concerned, it was not very constructive!!!]

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate There was a decision to give ÉcarlateSoft America a bigger role. There's 30 million potential customers here, after all.

[standalonehuman]

[Sorry, boss, Togusa is trying to hold in his laughter at his desk.]

Hitori Togusa Just one tiny user complaint. Come on, I'm not the only one who tried it.
Hitori Togusa But I am getting really good at Pac-Man thanks to this.

[standalonehuman]

[One quick Google search later...]

Hitori Togusa Oh! That's you. Or yours. I guess, I should have known from the last name, hunh?
Hitori Togusa Family business, I take it?

[counteracts]

Morgnyan Isaacs Yeah, you're right.
Morgnyan Isaacs Or, you would be if they even have an HR department.

[And even if they did... that's not usually where you send bug reports?]

Morgnyan Isaacs Sure, it could be that the email misdirect was a mistake with the programming, or maybe it was intentional.

[He's particularly wary of the calendar on this one.]

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Supposedly, the pined-after 'Janet Wizeman' works in HR, if her mail communications are to be believed.
Hitori Togusa But she doesn't have a public listing in the city. The employees are just as mysterious as the rest of the company.

[notbunaga]

it wouldve cost you absolutely nothing to keep that to yourself
but you just had to do it

2/2 i changed my mind

[notbunaga]

anyway
if they didnt screw up so much already i wouldve assumed this was an april fools thing
the fact it isnt makes this even worse

[notbunaga]

between this and the neon pink cat themed layout
it's like they're trying to turn my indifference into loathing
someone's in that building right now thinking "how far can we push her"

[notbunaga]

yeah trust the animal guy to think this is all endearing
frankly im fine with my name the way it is
adding cat puns only devalues it

[notbunaga]

[jesus christ]

"cute" is not my aesthetic so sorry if im not as enthusiastic about this as you

[notbunaga]

[okay so IGNORING ALL OF YUUKO'S USUAL BULLSHIT]

what on earth is up with your name
i expected like
mewko kameow

[notbunaga]

hopefully it gets fixed
i dont want anyone calling me pawki irl or i may have to kill them

[voideity]

WHAM
whatcha think of this
isnt it beautiful
in an eye-searing way

we are ABSODUCKINGLUTELY adding it to our family lexicon!
pen that sucker in

[notbunaga]

...so what? they can't keep font formatting under control either?

[redarm]

Noah Robin Catbell when do you ever have patience.
Noah Robin Catbell but its probably not april fools
Noah Robin Catbell sorry to say.

[voideity]

i mean tbf im sure it took all of five seconds
elizardbeth is adorable too
in a
lizardy way

[catsudon]

Yuri Purrsetsky okay but what's the gpoy supposed to be telling us here