loading...

[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[wiselys]

[ all of annabeth's posts and comments appear to come from... bark2-d2. ]

to: humanresources@retrospec.com
from: bananabeth01@gmail.com

I'll genuinely be surprised if this email actually reaches anyone, and shocked if I get a reply. Please respond if possible, and I'll be happy to detail my grievances.

[ once she gets the failure to send notification, then comes back to see her email posted to retrospec itself: ]

Gee. What a disappointment. Didn't see that coming at all.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking am I allowed to say "I told you so" even if you sent it without telling me?

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 No. Because a) you didn't tell me so, and b) I told myself so beforehand.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking so c.) you were just stubborn and had to try it yourself anyway like usual. shoulda know
Steven Squawking at least they didn't go for the obvious "barkabeth" or "catstellan"

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 *known
Bark2-D2 And yes, it was worth a try.
Bark2-D2 I was figuring Annabark Catstellan would have been cleverer.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking hey hey hey I'm allowed to do it to you guys but nobody's allowed to turn this around on me
Steven Squawking maybe they didn't want to mix dogs and cats? come to think of it I'm surprised they didn't pull catstellan on me either
Steven Squawking why birds? also Thalia mentioned something about snails on your app?

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 I guess they didn't want to mix cats and birds either. Or they're just not very clever.
Bark2-D2 The app has a theme, I have yellow snails. Thalia has bright blue cats. Were you not lucky enough for one?

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking I'm gonna go with the latter. this doesn't scream "genius" to me, especially when they spelled my name wrong
Steven Squawking "lucky" enough to get bright green turtles instead. which I'm still not sure what they're trying to say here

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 Maybe they were all done by a tired intern after office hours, and they didn't really care about quality. Or spelling.
Bark2-D2 That you're slow...? Actually, I guess we're both slow animals. Odd.

cindy clawford 5ever

[aegist]

send a test complaint next time, bananabeth.

[wiselys]

Like what? "You suck, fix your lame app"?

[aegist]

i mean that would be less effort and definitely cover all the bases.

are you having to play pac-man?

[wiselys]

That's true.

No. So maybe I am the lucky one, after all. Except for all the notifications, and the dancing fruit every time there's a comment. And the yellow snail theme?

[aegist]

blue cats. neon blue cats, i should clarify. and the name, and pac-man.

i did manage to skip the swearing ban, thank fuck.

are the snails at least cute or.

[wiselys]

Neon is never a good shade.

I don't know if I have the swearing ban. Let's see. Duck. Darn. Poop. Witch. Motherducking son of a witch. I guess I do.

Aside from the searing yellow shade, I guess? Snails are one of those debatably cute creatures where they're gross, but not bad to look at.

[aegist]

i kind of like the neon/electric blue?

motherducking son of a witch sounds mostly silly, lord. i hope luke is also swear-locked. @ luke say fuck.

now i'm curious: what other creatures are on this debatable list?

[wiselys]

Electic blue sounds like your color.

If he isn't, I'm going to be incredibly offended.

Hm. That's a good question. Chihuahuas maybe? Pugs for sure.

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Oh hey another good pun.
Elliecat Though yeah, they're just posting everyone's emails on here.

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 If you like puns.
Bark2-D2 Annabark Catsellan would have made more sense.
Bark2-D2 Yes, I noticed. I suppose it was too much to hope they'd actually listen to us for once.

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Wow they really did leave that one on the table didn't they.
Elliecat Eh. Why break a perfectly good streak of ignoring us this far?

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 They sure did, and I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or thankful.
Bark2-D2 Fair. I wonder if they have bets going on how long they can go ignoring us. For a few months, or maybe forever?

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat You can be two things. I believe in you.
Elliecat It can't be too long, eventually people will get fed up and start taking steps.

[sharplydressed]

it's like they're making awful customer service into an art form or something

i'd almost be impressed if it wasn't
you know
happening to us (´～｀)

[wiselys]

Clearly that's it. The latest high-brow art craze: messing with people and ignoring their complaints. Coming to a gallery near you.

[sharplydressed]

and we don't even have to pay for admission!
wow, they're so generous