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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

un: elizardbeth woof

[tearable]

to: humanresources@retrospec.com
from: retrobilly1912@gmail.com

Honestly, this is the biggest shot in the dark but — if you're actually receiving e-mails, I'd like to know how you've received our information to sign us up for this service. I know it's common knowledge that some newsletters sell their database of e-mails to telemarketers, but — there's laws against that, isn't there?

If you have not obtained our e-mail addresses such as that, how are you determining those for alpha users, beta users, etc etc. There are people who wish to opt out of this service and you're denying them. There's a ToS for a reason!

And stop sending my daughter fruit! Fruit with faces on it! What the HELL is wrong with you?!

---

[ A moment later, in a separate message: ]

Oh, wonderful.

[hjack69]

ELIZARDBETH
LMAO

[ that's. that's pretty much it. ]

[tearable]

[ why are you the way that you are ]

Laughs the one who a typical dog or cat pun in their name! You should count your blessings!

[hjack69]

sorry liz(ard) its just too perfect
elizardbeth woof
like
someone HAD to be sitting there at the retrospec building and come up w that like and just whispered
" its perfect "

i mean you gotta admit you were gonna be easy pickings no matter what mrs wolf

username: elliecat

[notyourutopian]

Finally someone gets a good pun name.

[tearable]

"Good" is definitely subjective here.

[notyourutopian]

Some of them are terrible.
At least yours made me laugh.

username: Maya Aidoggo

[strongestheart]

Worth a shot, at least? Nothing ventured, and all that...

[tearable]

I do not doubt there would be a bounceback, but my goodness... what a shotshow.

....Hitspow.

...S*H*I*

[ Is it finishing 'shitshow'? ]

P*

I give up.

[strongestheart]

...is the autocorrect on a rampage too?

And just for... curse wordds?

[Maya wouldn't know in this respect, she tries not to curse, she's a good girl, spammit.]

[rhapsodeity]

[ elizabeth can probably heard jade laughing from her bedroom in tune with this one?? ]

heheheh
ok im sorry but elizardbeth is so funny?
hehe

[tearable]

[ Locking her out of the new house. ]

It's unfeminine!

[rhapsodeity]

there are girl lizards mom
there are
they are feminine

[scarlet_devil]

Well, that confirms it. I shouldn't bother sending off my own complaint email, should I?

[tearable]

I wouldn't. Unless I'm undeniably stupid with sending mail and somehow sent the entire userbase of Retrospec my private mail... then no.

[scarlet_devil]

You most certainly do not strike me as stupid, Madame Wolf. I've looked and seen it happen a few times already.

username: foxy strider.

[voideity]

elizardbeth

[ IT'S REALLY FUNNY ]

[tearable]

Of course, you get an adorable one!

[voideity]

i mean tbf im sure it took all of five seconds
elizardbeth is adorable too
in a
lizardy way

[true_noir]

Dare I ask? I am concerned that something bad will have happened finally. Just when it was getting quiet too.

[Username: BlakKat, could be much worse.]

[tearable]

Try sending a letter yourself. I'm assuming it'll get forwarded to all of us instead of doing anything productive.

un: purina friskies

[trueend]

??????????????
were you trying to publish your email mrs w
i like your address though

[tearable]

No. I definitely wasn't. It seems there's some forward attached to the e-mail... one that mass sends to all Retrospec users.

:/

un: nyardyn mewzunia

[daemonized]

Now, that's hardly fair. Your name is clever /and/ pushing boundaries. Reptilian and mammal, the best of both worlds.

[ELIZARDBETH.....]

[tearable]

You sound like a mad scientist if the context is taken away. But.

At least now I know my rename is far from the worst out there.