001. text // i'm wide awake the more i sleep

[manufactured]

I'll preface this now with the notion that I don't expect anyone to respond with the content of their memories, should this be relevant to them. It's more a question being shouted into the void, because I don't care to keep it in my head any longer. Make of it what you will; treat it as a pure hypothetical if it suits you, it isn't as though I'll know the difference.

But has anyone had the suspicion that they may have been on the wrong side of whatever conflict may have been occurring in these memories of theirs? Or if not something so drastic, perhaps it's just that the person you seem to have been back then was deserving of, at the very least, a solid shake and a slap across the face.

Either way, people like to assert here that whomever you are now isn't the same as the person you're remembering, and I wholeheartedly agree with that notion. However, the question likewise comes up from time to time of whether or not the patterns we recall are what we're destined to fall into again.

That possibility becomes decidedly more difficult to disregard when the memories you receive are of someone that you have neither the interest nor the desire to become.

Comments

[manufactured]

I can't imagine what you possibly could have done - and besides, in my experience, people who make sweeping remarks like that don't usually do it for the protection of others, let's put it that way.

[wantshappiness]

[She doesn't have much of an imagination for these things, but there's a sentence from another memory that kept going around in her head: do you want to be my doll?]

I don't know. I want to figure out what happened but I'm also scared what I'll find out...

[manufactured]

...I understand.

If it's any consolation to you, despite the feelings and thoughts we're privy to in the process, some people subscribe to the notion that whomever is experiencing this can't be considered us at all. So it isn't as though it reflects poorly on you.

[wantshappiness]

but what if I have the capacity to become the same kind of person?

[What if all these years the reason she kept getting bounced from family to family was because she had the capacity for something terrible?]

[manufactured]

Everyone does.

Don't misunderstand me, it's a concern of mine as well. This post to begin with wouldn't have happened otherwise. At the same time, I want to believe that at a certain point it becomes a matter of personal choice.

Back from hiatus! Sorry for the late reply.

[wantshappiness]

[A matter of personal choice, huh?]

I want to believe that too...