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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last social media network you will ever need. You are one of the few selected to test this exciting new platform based on our cutting-edge algorithms. Less than two hundred invitations have gone out, and membership is not currently open to the public. However, we hope you will come to see how useful Retrospec™ is, given time. We have for your use a variety of features such as text, voice, video, and image posts. We encourage you to explore our many options. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. As a reminder, everything besides uploading a profile picture and information was locked until this post. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Oddly, profile pictures still cannot be swapped out at this time, so hopefully you took a good one.

Comments

[hjack69]

well it dicked up my game of candy crush
which i was totally KILLIN btw
so eh its a way to spend an evening i guess

and look youre a law guy theres just some universal constants between you guys
like bein sassy
and wearing weird scarves

[daemonized]

I have the upmost faith you can complete whatever level you were on once more. Besides, isn't this far more compelling? A mysterious social media app already pinging notifications to you on your phone?

And sorry, weird scarves?

[They're gr8 scarves, okay. They're not weird at all.]

[hjack69]

considering its mostly complaining so far not really

and look just sayin this as a friend but theres scarves and then theres SCARVES and you wear the latter

[daemonized]

Of course people are complaining. It's social media. Even I'm complaining, but at least I do it in the most patronizing way possible.

And now you just sound like Iris. If there's a difference between scarves and SCARVES, it's that the latter brings out my eyes.

[hjack69]

see if you do it funny its ok otherwise its just some punk ass noise
which is basically the tenet i live my entire life by but w/e

ardyn the first step is admitting you have a problem
one day were going to find you strangled by accident bc you tried sleeping in your scarf and itll be traaaaaaagic

[daemonized]

Weren't you just complaining about losing your progress in Candy Crush?

And btw, if you find my corpse, and it turns out that the cause of death is strangulation, just assume I've been terribly murdered. I don't sleep in my day clothes. [Apparently scarves count as day clothes now.] What do you take me for, a heathen?

[hjack69]

thats different im at like level ten zillion

and btw, if i find your corpse, im taking your scarf off to see if its been holding your head on the entire time.

[daemonized]

If my head rolls under the bed and the authorities can't find it, I'll haunt you to the end of your days, Jack.

[hjack69]

one what makes you think i wouldnt tie it back on like the super awesome pal that i am
and two your ghost would see some shit so i wouldnt recommend it

[daemonized]

Aren’t you thoughtful. If that’s the case, it’d only be natural for me to repay such selflessness, even in death. Feel free to take a souvenir from my home if you do ever find yourself in this situation; something to fondly remember me by.

I’d be dead and, according to you, decapitated. Do you really think “seeing some shit” would faze me at that point?

[hjack69]

i am a sweet and magnanimous soul i dont know where you got this idea that im too much of an asshole to stick my buddys head back on
and lbr i would probably kind of loot the place bc you wont be using any of it anymore

nah youre right youd prob still be unruffled and kinda patronizing even if nobody could hear your running commentary
im just sayin when the dude in tijuana finally gets around to coming after me its not gonna be pretty
the last time we talked he said " me comeré la lengua " which roughly means " i will eat your tongue "

[daemonized]

Just promise not to crash the car when you drive off in a blaze of fury with all my things in tow. Well, don't crash the red one, at least.

And may I ask why someone from Tijuana might appear and threaten to eat your tongue? I need context for when I'm literally hovering around nearby.

[hjack69]

ehhh its just some stuff from back in the day
you cant tell now bc im all respectable and crap but i was pretty freakin crazy in my 20s
spent a loooooot of time partying in good ol mexico
made some not so great decisions
all im sayin is if some dudes come looking for me and they look like those murder guys from breaking bad you should probably keep your distance

[daemonized]

You must have been quite the wayward soul, Jack, for people to still be looking for you.

[lord. Is he exaggerating? Is this something he should honestly be wary of? Eh.]

Not to make light of the matter, but it seems all very dramatic. My 20s were a bore in comparison. Still, if anyone comes looking for you, I'll try to come to your aid. Until they actually start cutting into you, then you're on your own.

[hjack69]

[ it is a mysteryyyyyyy ]

had a lot of fun
saw a lot of sights
pissed a whole lot of people off
lets just say 20 y/o you and 20 y/o me probably wouldnt get on like we do because 20 y/o me spent the entire 80s dressed like keifer sutherland in lost boys

aw ardyn im blushin over here i didnt know you cared
if you ever have gangsters come after you and try to eat your tongue i got your back buddy

[daemonized]

You might be surprised. I think 20 year old me might have liked 20 year old you. I was going crosseyed from all my studies back then. A little bit of excitement might have been beneficial for my sanity at the time. And that was before law school.

Honestly, I hope they go for my fingers first. I can’t lecture without my tongue.

[hjack69]

the great and wise ardyn izunia wasnt ALWAYS this cool?
and here i was thinking you came straight out of the womb with a slightly condescending smirk on
well if i ever totally friggin snap and decide to start touring america again youre more than welcome to come
with the kids i got this semester its not entirely out of the realm of possibility

[daemonized]

You think I'm cool? I'm flattered. But no, I was more sleep-addled in those years, never mind what my siblings thought.

[And Ardyn saying he was sleep-addled then is impressive, given his sorry sleep schedule now.]

As long as I get to drive, and only then. Are your students that bad?

[hjack69]

nah ive just had classes before that were way more talented
its not this classes fault but thats just how it is
i look at what my past students accomplished and then i look at the kids i have now fucking around and turning in total crap
idk its probably just a teacher thing everybody goes through
got a couple kids that are real stars though

[daemonized]

Careful. That sounds dreadfully close to jaded ennui, Jack. (John? Your name says John on here.)

[hjack69]

ughhhhhhhhh
legally its john
but only my grandma and the crazy rattlesnake handlers at my old church call me john

[daemonized]

And apparently now Retrospec wants to call you John, too. Isn't that reassuring? Should I start calling you that as well?

[now he's just teasing]

[hjack69]

but ardyn theres so much to live for

[daemonized]

I don't see a "no" in there.

[hjack69]

ill push you down a flight of stairs