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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

un: jack dawgs

[hjack69]

ok what the frickle frack is this bullpockey
if youre not going to let me cuss i dont want to be alive

[parodeity]

+10
but i guess we just have to get creative
save the f bombs for nuclear armageddon irl
and do some linguistic tangoing on this stupid app

[hjack69]

i mean
it could be puns?
so i guess theres worse spit out there
spit
s p i t

UGH THIS IS SUCH BULLSPIT

[parodeity]

bullspit just sounds ridiculous yeah it completely negates like any impact of anything
and mostly makes people go
hahaha what a cutie
like youre talking to a two year old kid and you want to pinch their cheeks or something
which always seems rude to me

[rhapsodeity]

bullpockey??????
what is that

[hjack69]

its bullspit
bologna
fudge berries

motherSMUCKER

[ why is this happening to him??? ]

[rhapsodeity]

mothersmucker is pretty good actually!
they have been censoring me to be saying dadgummit since this post went up!
mothersmucker is so cuuuuuute though :D

UN: Rouge Rover

[voicelessresistance]

Picturing you saying that out loud is pretty funny, at least.

[hjack69]

says the gal named red frickin rover apparently
believe me tho ive tested it out irl and i can still say the soap words so its all good in my hood redsie

[constellates]

frickle frack
bullpockey !
funny !!
where are those words from ?
i have never heard them before

[hjack69]

a hick version of ned flanders and/or the rougher part of sesame street probably
i mean lord almighty
cheese and crackers
jumpin jehoshaphat

this crap makes me sound like a ninety year old woman

[constellates]

jumpin jehoshaphat !
i like it

do not worry
i am sure you are still young at heart
even if your words do not make it out the right way

[daemonized]

[And Jack gets an amused text from "Nyardyn Mewzunia".]

However are you going to survive? What if this is a permanent change?

[hjack69]

still wouldnt be as bad as you getting stuck w that name forever



well i mean it WOULD but im making fun of your name is the point here
nyardyn
jesus are you sure your kids didnt screw w the network

[ ardyn is basically their dad at this point, right. ]

[daemonized]

The joke's on you, I don't terribly mind being called Nyardyn for however long this lasts. And I'm sure my nephews feel the same about whatever username they've been given.

[He finds it funny, if nothing else. (He's truly related to Yu and Souji, apparently.)]

At least I can continue to fully express myself without being censored by Retrospec. Go ahead, swear more, Jack. I want to see what else the app comes up with.

un: May Sfurry

[me_matey]

frick frack paddy whack

give the dawg a bone, amirite?

[hjack69]

there are literally so many ways i could run w this phrasing that i cant pick which one i wanna go with
so ill skip that part and ask what the heck your last name was bc " sfurry " is T E R R I B L E

[me_matey]

dawgs who live in glass kennels shouldnt be throwin bones, jack-attack

[glacian]

Swearing is a lazy form of expression but when used well, it can be somewhat...artistic.

[hjack69]

you think?
i mean im not disagreeing or anything but i dunno about the lazy part
sometimes youre in a situation where you could use six words to show people youre upset or just yell truck
duck
buck
the f word

[manolia]

Soothing the pain of our existential angst with words, I see. How wonderfully representative of the human condition.

Really, though, the auto-correct is a little obnoxious. Sometimes a guy just wants to say "duck."

w/e, you get the point :(

this hover menu i stg

[hjack69]

i mean sometimes you just need that IMPACT yknow
somebody bangs a shopping cart into your car youre not gonna be like " excuse me sir but what you have just done is an odious act of ill will towards me and my possessions " when you can just be like
ay smocksucker pay me

ugh
close enough

[arahoushi]

Whoa there friend, you watch your language!

1/2

[hjack69]

yeah you think its so funny
ill come down there and riddle your diddle you wompy nogoodnik

[hjack69]

i hate this so much