TEXT ♞ MORE SEXY COSTUMES

[tarotcards]

Great people of Retrospec. I am in dire need of your assistance. Please respond with the most honest opinions, thoughts, and suggestions you have about this topic:

🍇 Sexy grape costumes 🍇

Option one or option two? Or should I go with another option altogether? I am willing to commission a custom costume for my goal. I am seeking a tailor/seamstress to make my dreams come true. I am willing to hire multiple people for multiple costumes. Inquire within.

I need 100% unbiased answers for this very important and very serious inquiry. Thank you.

[ hey. that's weird. it's almost like this is a word-for-word ripoff of his own post and yu's post. only better. and also he's totally willing to pay money for a strawberry and grape costume commission. ]

Comments

[elevelvetor]

then you simply need to show them something more horrifying, don't you?
after all, sexy fruits can't compare to...
i'm not sure.
sexy George Washington costumes?

[tarotcards]

I don't know.

This looks pretty good.

[elevelvetor]

my, i hadn't excited it to be that stunning...
then, hmmmm...
perhaps some sort of... sexy slug creature?

[ like jabba the hutt. someone's attempt at sexualizing jabba the hutt. i hate this mental image ]

[tarotcards]

How's this?

[elevelvetor]

she looks like asparagus.

[tarotcards]

Maybe slugs actually look like asparaguses?

[elevelvetor]

[ ... ]

they don't.
unless...
that's simply their true self? yet slug society is not yet ready for asparaslugs... how daring

[tarotcards]

... what if some of the asparaguses we've been eating were actually slugs in their true forms? What if we've eaten them when they were just trying to be their real selves?

[twostringsonebow]

I demand you stop this instant.

[tarotcards]

Does the truth scare you?

[twostringsonebow]

I am paralyzed. There is nothing in this world that terrifies me more.

[than him and liz getting along this way, that is.]

[tarotcards]

Get a hold of yourself, soldier! Do not give into the fear!

[twostringsonebow]

No, I think I very much will. Fear is a healthy thing to have, and it's something we should respect. Recognizing valid reasons for certain fears -- such as the ever-blossoming friendship between yourself and Miss Velveteen -- often leads to further survival of a species.

[tarotcards]

I'm sending a bundle of asparagus to your front door until you become invincible

[elevelvetor]

Akechi, please.
be more respectful of their plight.

[twostringsonebow]

I will not.

[elevelvetor]

they're simply attempting to be themselves in a judgmental world.
don't you understand how they feel?

[twostringsonebow]

[........]

They are not slugs.

[elevelvetor]

of course not.
they're asparagus, as they wish to be.
thank you for recognizing their struggle. i'm certain they must be thankful.

[elevelvetor]

... do you know what this means, Souji?
we'll have to apologize.

[tarotcards]

Should we make a shrine in their honour?

[elevelvetor]

it'd only be right to.
what shall we construct it out of?
i'd offer asparagus, however that wouldn't last very long...

[tarotcards]

Maybe something that they enjoy? Like what do slugs eat? Leafs? Other slugs??

[elevelvetor]

they do eat both of those, in addition to fungus and carrion...
but those aren't very sound structurally, are they? perhaps bone would be better.

[tarotcards]

We'd have to get some rather sturdy and big bones then. I don't think chicken bone will be strong enough to be a proper shrine.