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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ need. You are one of the few ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ We encourage you to explore our many options. Our HR staff ̡̨̨̨̡̧̹͉̹͉̞̪̮͙͉̟͔͉͎͎̤̹͙͉̟̱̠̻͚͎͔͉̤͚͇̳̘̭̩͇͕͔͜ͅị̷̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̛̛̹͈̙̹̼̼̱̱͓͓̱͎͚̝͚̥͕̻͇͎̖̘̪̭̼̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙̾̄̃̒̾̎͆͆̈́̑͊̋͌̀̑̌̆̽͌͑͆̽͛̀̀͋̔͊̃̾̾̃̂͆̀̍̽̏̀̃̚͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅç̶̨̨̨̛̛̼͈͖͔̼̖̙͕͍̟͇̤̩̳͇̳̰̤͓̳̱͍̻̖̼̩͉̜͎̹͖̺̯̣͔̗̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀́̋̽̿͑̽͑̋͗͋͌͗͗̅̒̐͒͆̒̎͒͋̀͋̾͛͌̽̒̉̽̌̈̉̀͋͐̆̽̅̉̐͆͑̓̑͛͋̀̓͋̒͌͒͌͒̈́̔̽͒̚͘͘̚̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝e̷̒͑̄͒͂̑̆̂̈́̕new features. If ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ one new feature for Retrospec™, ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅe winning ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅprize. ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝remember? ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ Users, for your continued patronage! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. Upon opening this entry at all, characters will find themselves spammed with notifications and strange glitched texts until they make some sort of suggestion for a new application feature on the Retrospec app. This can range from a personalized friends list to a watermelon image gallery to a watergun charging station. It doesn't have to make sense or be useful - it just has to be a suggestion, at which point the application will return to normal.

Comments

[alienates]

Wow! Every single time I start thinking, "Hm, maybe I was too harsh about this extremely suspicious, possibly malware riddled plot device to a B movie" I am quickly corrected.
Who wants to take bets on what's next?
Because I am goddamn excited to find out in what other ways Retrospec is going to blow my mind with its sketchiness.
Oh. My bad. Retrospec™.
Seriously though what the fuck.

[true_noir]

I am not truly the betting sort, but I am still willing to play along if you are. It makes this thing feel one small bit less troublesome. It will get access to our TVs next and post our personal information to everyone, our secrets on the nightly news.

[alienates]

Wow this is it.
You've done it.
You just figured out the next step in their plan for world domination.

[true_noir]

This is that famous, sarcastic American wit at work, is it not? You have considered a career in comedy, I should hope. It would be a shame to lose out on the opportunity to tell people how they might have red necks.

[Two could play the sarcastic game.]

[alienates]

There you go again!
You didn't even wait for the TV to go and doxx me. How did you know that it's my life long dream to be a comedian and that I stand in front of my mirror, every night, a hairbrush in hand as a fake mic, practicing my routine?
Just where are you getting all this information anyway?
You better be careful Chloe, or else I'm going to have to start suspecting you're secretly working for Retrospec.

[true_noir]

[Forgive her. She took a minute to look up doxxing, having never heard of such a thing. It made her snicker when she put two and two together, even if doxxing sounded a little scary.]

This is it. The true secret behind all of this strange app is that I am actually a brilliant computer programmer, posing as a mild mannered florist. I have fooled all of you with the flower talk, and now it is too late and you are under my spell. I know all of your secrets, but what ever will I do with them?

Other than informing everyone that you beat box at night, alone.

[This was officially silly, but she needed silly. Retrospec was giving her a headache.]

[parodeity]

cant believe you almost forgot the tm
just opening yourself up to a lawsuit there from the creepstakes runners

[alienates]

What kind of asshole wouldn't give them the proper respect and forget to acknowledge them appropriately?
Not me.

[parodeity]

i mean no matter how glitched out the thing is
it somehow never obscured the tm
apparently its THAT important
im not even going to try to decipher most of that crap though
no prize that comes from company spams a lot can be worth it

[alienates]

It'll probably be like those mobile games that make you watch ads in order to get more points.
And then at the end of the ad it's like, "Hey, if you sign up with your email you'll get a gajillion more points without spending any money!"
And then you, a naive fucker who should not be allowed near any electronics because your own stupidity will probably fry the device, go, "Well, ok!"
And then you have to make a new email address because all you get is spam messages from then on.

[parodeity]

implying they need help getting our info and spamming us
but honestly
probably that sounds about right
the question then becomes how broken but addictive would the game be
i feel like itd be pretty fucking crack cocaine levels of addictive here
being that this entire network is broken as fuck and suspicious as hell
and yet i know not a single person who has gone nah not for me
and stopped using it
say what you will about retrospec tm
but they do at least apparently know how to trap a reluctant userbase
if only by closing the door pulling the lock shut and doing the chain thing
and then like hammering boards over the door for good measure
maybe soldering some iron bars over it

[potentite]

B-movies are known for being especially formulaic and predictable.
So that leads to the question of genre. Probably horror I'd guess?
Possibly supernatural or thriller but they often cross over.
Still it leads to different possible antagonists. The government, ghosts, monsters, aliens...

[alienates]

Which is where the B comes in because literally all of those options are so typical.
A government conspiracy that involves our electronics being hacked somehow?
Plot twist of the year here.

[potentite]

If it is a B-movie plot, though, at least we should be able to predict it?

[alienates]

The problem there is that there are too many "characters" in this situation, e.g. everyone who has the app.
But in movies the cast are a lot smaller and we know who the main people who move the plot forward are.
With this setup there are too many potential wildcards.

[potentite]

There was that show about... what was it... like a few thousand people that were kidnapped by aliens or something?
It only followed some of them I think for obvious reasons.
But then I guess we'd have to figure out who are main characters are and that's a pain.

[belligerentwarrior]

well, can't be setting up for horror. we're too genre-aware for that.

my bet's on reality. congratulations, random contestant.

[alienates]

There has been an increase of horror films where the characters in it are more aware of the tropes and yet, despite that, still get caught in them because of reasons outside of those factors.

Holy fuck. What about a horror-based reality show?

[belligerentwarrior]

so it's a shitty prank series?

or toddlers in tiaras. hard to get more horrifying than that.

[alienates]

I am pretty sure that show has a higher budget than Retrospec does.
So maybe not.
Unless you're wearing a tiara right now.

[belligerentwarrior]

a thought so scary i almost had to check.

kinda implies retrospec has a budget at all, though.

[5kotai]

what's a b movie?

[alienates]

They're usually the cheaper ones? More low budget.
So basically not those huge, Hollywood stuff that you'll see nominated for awards and shit.
They can be campy and bad but that's what makes them good if that makes sense.
Although in our case it's just fucking bad.

[5kotai]

Oh, I never knew! They might be fun for a weekend, going to the theaters for new movies can add up.

[ Curse the $10 bags of popcorn... ]

But this app like a bad one because it's invasive? Yeah... crime thrillers are awful.

[alienates]

Not only is it invasive, it doesn't even fucking work?
It took a whole month just so I could change my damn picture.
What level of incompetence are they trying to reach here?