> Post kittens.

[alienates]

Karkat Vantas shared a photo. 3/24 near Apprassage

You are goddamn welcome, everyone.
At least now, no matter what kind of a shitstained day you've been having, you can say you saw newborn kittens.

[ timeline-wise this is a little later in the afternoon, so like for high schoolers it'd be after school ends for the day, etc. ]

Comments

[alienates]

Jim, you somehow exceeded our very low expectations and accomplished more than we thought you could.
I'm golf clapping.

God I think this has been the longest I have ever talked about cats.

[sharplydressed]

it just goes to show you!
you can do anything if you put your mind to it ( ´艸｀)

cats are a great topic though!
and you're pretty fun to talk to, too
so if you ever want to chat cats again, you know where to find me! （´▽`)ノ

[STUCK HERE IN RETROSPEC APP HELL.]

[alienates]

[ karkat learned a valuable lesson here today and it's that in order to get people to like you, you gotta talk about your cats ]

I'll set up one of those booths, like the one that girl had in that comic? Peanuts?
But instead of being a psychiatrist it'll just be a booth for talking about cats.

[sharplydressed]

[This is 100% true, Kiyomitsu can vouch for it.]

that'd be pretty popular tbh!
everyone likes talking about cats

except for the weirdos who think they're bad luck or whatever

[alienates]

I had an aunt who fucking DESPISED them.
If they were on her lawn she'd try to grab her hose and scare them off.
She didn't actually spray them with it but seeing water getting aimed towards you would freak anyone out I guess.

[sharplydressed]

????
omg
i didn't think people like that actually existed in the world but i guess you learn something new every day

at least she didn't actually spray them...
and being cats i'd guess they weren't scared off for long anyway

[alienates]

No they kept coming back all the time and just scattered when they saw her.
But it was still a pretty dick move???
She wasn't my favorite aunt. She also gave really fucking shitty Christmas presents.

[sharplydressed]

smart kitties
i hope they had a good time sitting on her lawn (`A´)9

i hope you don't have to deal with bad gifts anymore too because you might just end up with dancing fruit now tbh

[alienates]

Jesus
Can you imagine those fruit bouquets now?
Although I don't think people put a lot of limes in those so maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

[sharplydressed]

oh my god
true
but you know, that reminds me that i should be getting rid of the leftover citrus in my kitchen before my roommate gets an idea like that

but thanks again for the cats!
10/10 way better than fruit

[alienates]

Every time I go to a restaurant and they give you a lemon with your drink I am going to want to die.

Ok but let's be real here
It's really not that difficult to be better than the fruit.

[sharplydressed]

better avoid the fancy places with lemon water then (´ー｀;)

also true
but look it's a compliment, just take it!

[alienates]

Ok but that's like Oliver Garden level fancy we are removing a lot of options from the table here.

[sharplydressed]

i guess you'll just have to tell everyone you have a citrus allergy then
maybe we can make it sound like a city-wide pandemic (￣∇￣)9

[alienates]

If we say that and they give us citrus does that mean we can sue them for almost killing us?

[sharplydressed]

i mean
if we pretend it's the kind of allergy where you need an epipen i don't see why not
might as well make it super realistic!

[alienates]

See? There is no way this can go wrong.
I mean
Except for the fact that I don't have an epipen.

[sharplydressed]

good point
that's when you take advantage of the chaos to book it out the front door (｀・ω・´)b
just make sure to pay so you can still come back later!

[AS IF ANY SANE PERSON WOULD.]

[alienates]

Oh good point
Landing on one of those boards filled with pictures of people who are banned is really embarrassing right??
Especially if people you know go there.

[ they're dumb ]

[sharplydressed]

then they'd spread stories about you!
like
oh it's that guy who pretended to be deathly allergic to lemons just to skip out on the bill
kids do the darndest things
(do old people even say that anymore)

[Competing in the moron olympics: these two.]

[alienates]

Maybe I was miraculously cured??
Hallelujah, it's an act from god, I have been rid of this tragic lemon allergy through the grace of prayer.

[sharplydressed]

well now that you have your cover story and miraculous recovery all set and ready to go, nothing's stopping you! (´∀`)

[alienates]

Just so you know
If I get arrested I will take you down with me.

[sharplydressed]

i'll be seeing you in jail, then! ☆*ヾ(-∀・*)*+☆

[alienates]

Most people end up shanking the ones who send them to jail you know.
I am pretty sure that's how it works?