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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last social media network you will ever need. You are one of the few selected to test this exciting new platform based on our cutting-edge algorithms. Less than two hundred invitations have gone out, and membership is not currently open to the public. However, we hope you will come to see how useful Retrospec™ is, given time. We have for your use a variety of features such as text, voice, video, and image posts. We encourage you to explore our many options. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. As a reminder, everything besides uploading a profile picture and information was locked until this post. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Oddly, profile pictures still cannot be swapped out at this time, so hopefully you took a good one.

Comments

[hjack69]

this isnt gonna b like chatroulette right bc i dont need dudes jerkin off on my phone
u fuckers interrupted my candy crush

[doublesmall]

if it was like chatroulette you already would've seen like, five

but if the amount of internet clueless people and probable kids are anything to go off i think we're safe. relatively.

[hjack69]

lbr i probably wouldve seen five sitting in the same room jerkin off in batman costumes or some crazy shit
or washing plates
whatever theyre doing now

and im kinda glad but also kinda uncomfortable making dick jokes in front of a bunch of teenagers
i mean im still making dick jokes but its gonna b weird if some kid pops in w a nelson laugh or smth

[doublesmall]

i mean, on the one hand, they're teens on the internet. they've seen worse. shit, they've probably said worse.

on the other hand i know some of those teens and i'd rather pretend they know nothing, so i get you

[parodeity]

what level were you @
how apologetic should we be here

[hjack69]

literally at like level 1800 rn
i expect handwritten apology letters from every single one of you

[parodeity]

i mean i would but that sounds like effort
and also its not my fault my phone was coopted by this janky media app
it might be my fault for participating with a shrug but hey
im bored

[rhapsodeity]

ew :(

i dont think any of us could have interrupted your candy crush playing
this app doesnt have pings!
so it was the creeps running this things!!!
and anyway, i have never played candy crush before so i am not sure i would be apologetic :p lol

[hjack69]

ok one pretend you didnt hear the chatroulette part bc it makes me feel icky and if you go home asking about where babies come from or smth your mom is gonna kick my ass
also probably your dad
two candy crush is awesome
and three this app not having pings is lit the worst thing
how am i supposed to track my favorite threads and watch everybody make gigantic asses of themselves

four go play candy crush so you can send me lives

[rhapsodeity]

i think you should refrain from saying things that people like me will see, mr dawes :\

lol
it is a pretty weird decision to not even have pings, that is such a major part of social media at this point
who even needs texting when youve got twitter dms

i guess i can send you lives on candy crush!
i dont play games like it very often, i like board games more
is it like a board game??? :o

[loudmouths]

who still plays candy crush???

[hjack69]

uh me obviously
and like a zillion other fortysomethings still amazed by this wild new technology we call the iphone
look kid im a teacher my life is stupid crazy boring most of the time

[loudmouths]

next you're gonna say you play where's my water

[notbunaga]

i had a theory this app was targeting people on the younger side of the spectrum
you know because they're more likely to be influenced towards using it and being dragged away from existing social media sites

but if there's someone on here who still plays candy crush i guess that's the end of that

[hjack69]

this is where id normally tell you to eat a dick but i cant bc youre like
twelve
i mean i get the target group thing but a forty year old guy chatting with teenagers is hella creepy
theyre gonna start asking where my van is

no continue ignoring all the html i put it in by habits and im too lazy to delete it

[notbunaga]

Akinobu Taira im 19
Akinobu Taira which doesnt help your case much i guess
Akinobu Taira better hightail it in that van

Akinobu Taira seriously though what bothers me most about you being here is now i dont know what the common ground is between all of us
Akinobu Taira unless we all live in recolle. but that's kind of a stupid idea ive only ever heard of things like this being limited to a whole country or something at most. talk about limiting your userbase.

[tarotcards]

Or did your Candy Crush interrupt us?

[hjack69]

no im PRETTY sure ive been rockin candy crush for like
i cant even remember
when did it even come out?
so yeah youre definitely interrupting it

[tarotcards]

Since the dawn of time, I think.

Maybe change is good. Maybe this is a sign that you should stop playing Candy Crush.

[mercurio]

urge to play cc...rising

[hjack69]

for a second i thought you said coc and got really confused
and kind of uncomfortable

2/2

[hjack69]

wait how old are you
god DAMMIT you babyfaces are cramping my style

[mercurio]

LOL i'm 20
a little uncomfortable myself now

[darthvaper]

You know there are probably kids on here, right? Might want to knock the profanity down to about a three.

[hjack69]

cmon theyre all like 17 theyve heard the word fuck and already know p much the only real use for chatroulette
i was doing coke off strippers at their age theyre actually p sheltered if you think about it

[ Is he being serious? Bullshitting it up? The world will never know. ]