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[recollecters]

Welcome back, users. Looks like we were able to bring you back online and tracked again...here's hoping the layers are settled now, but the readings are off the chart. We're doing our best to stabilize the city for December while we track some of the magical sources we're picking up. It may take us some time though, so please bear with us! We may be working through the holidays, too, if this keeps up. But it's okay. You opened the doors and new routes for us to check. Stay positive, users. December is a special time of the year. What's your favorite holiday tradition? You'd be surprised how thoughts shape things here. Please take care. Joanne Wiseman Technician 2nd class Retrspec Incorporated Characters' display names are the same as whatever they chose last month and are permanently locked in! Newbies may pick a new name for their first use on Retrospec, but whatever they pick will also become permanent. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. As a friendly reminder, you may also claim one of this month's freebie by submitting a thread from this mod post. This thread must be 10 comments from you and submitted before AC closes.

Comments

[me_matey]

dude that's


complicated

/privately here on out

[burndownforwhat]

It kind of is.

But things are still good, now. I know about her and, well, she knows about me.
So that's a huge weight off my chest.

[me_matey]

i'm


happy for you, i guess. its just

a lot of stuff that happened is starting to feel like.




it didn't matter.

[burndownforwhat]

Wait what?

What are you talking about?

[me_matey]

satsuki, me, whoever, they always assumed the reason you never got serious about being romantic with them was because of your mom, and all that entails.

[burndownforwhat]

[ oh. of course. she could have pieced that together herself, but she was hoping it wasn't the case. they had moved past that, hadn't they? found some peace with the situation. with each other. it takes her several minutes to compose the reply. ]

I wish she had confided in me sooner. I couldn't have seen this coming. No one could.

I don't know how different things would be if I knew sooner. Like, if I bonded with her strongly over this maybe I would have stayed home in Seattle and never even gotten this close to everyone here in the first place. My life could be completely different. So could yours.

[me_matey]

no i get it i just


look i dont want it to sound like im upset at u. im more upset at like

circumstance i guess

like i said its complicated.

[burndownforwhat]

Sorry. I assumed you were saying it was complicated for me.
Which it still is.
I just didn't think this would be such a big deal now after what we talked about.

[me_matey]

look its






its fine, ok? aint no use wastin time on being upset about shit i didnt even know. that u didnt know. or how it might have changed things for any of us.

at least im gonna keep tellin myself it is till i start believin it.

[burndownforwhat]

I don't know what to say to that.
I'm sorry.

[me_matey]

man u aint gotta be sorry this is completely my hang up

i guess i just wasnt as over things as i thought. i should be the one apologizing

[burndownforwhat]

I'm apologizing because I didn't even consider your feelings when I found this out.
I was just thinking about how happy my mom was. How relieved I was.
I mean I didn't even text you right when it happened, you had to find out like this.
That's on me.

[me_matey]

i mean


i guess im not sure im really worth all that consideration, all my hang ups aside. its ur mom, ur life, not mine.

[burndownforwhat]

You're not wrong on that last part.
But you're still my friend.
And I don't like my friends talking as if they're not special to me.

[me_matey]

crist jen makn me cry cant evn typ goddamm

[burndownforwhat]

In a good way, I hope?

Where are you right now?

[me_matey]

idk?

the tears i mean im at the rcw gym

[burndownforwhat]

Then just hang on a minute.

[ thanks to the Legion Ring, Jen can easily drop what she's doing and drop in on May at the gym in just a couple of minutes. literally, dropping in at the front door from the sky and walking in like it's a perfectly normal way to get around.

so much for using the ring just for emergencies. this did kind of count, though. ]

May? Where are you?

[me_matey]

[ By this point, the staff recognized Jen, at least, and she wasn't given any hassle on entering the building. One of the other wrestlers directed Jen to the locker room, where one could actually... kind of hear May sobbing. ]

"She's a bit of a mess at the moment. Is she gonna be okay?" [ the wrestler asks, a slight British accent in his tone. ]

[burndownforwhat]

[ Jen weaves her way in through everyone else, trading casual but curt greetings along her path. she's got a mission here, after all. ]

Yeah, don't worry. I'll take care of it. [ which is a statement that falls flat of confidence as soon as she can hear the echos through the door. Jen hurriedly pushes her way in and navigates the aisles until she can find her friend. ]

Oh, god. [ at the sight of her, Jen approaches more cautiously. that's her fault, isn't it? should she really be here? ] Hey. [ "hey"?? she helps herself to a seat right by May, her body all tense. ] I'm here, May.

[ for all the good it may do them. ]

[me_matey]

[ The other wrestlers respected May enough to clear the locker room the moment Jen arrived, giving them plenty of privacy, at least.

May sniffled, looking up at Jen with puffy eyes. ]

I don't... even know why I'm crying. I should be happy for you. I'm such a stupid, selfish bitch...

[burndownforwhat]

You can be... all of the above? I mean. You can't help how you feel. [ Jen was at least prepared enough to deliver that statement with certainty. she knows the same applies to her, after all. ] It doesn't make you selfish. Or a bad person.

[ she reached up to put her hand on May's shoulder. ] It makes you honest. Same as you've always been. [ as far as Jen could speak from memory. ]

[me_matey]

Selfish... jealous... confused, lonely, sick and tired...

[ May reached to rest her hand on Jen's, giving it an almost shockingly weak squeeze given what May was capable of. ]

I hate... that I only seem to find the worst parts of myself lately.

[burndownforwhat]

[ Jen turns her hand over and takes May's gently in both of hers. ]

The world's been hard on you for a long, long time. [ that's not to excuse her behavior. or how she turned out. but at the same time, Jen can't blame her for any bitterness or resentment for dashed expectations. ]

[me_matey]

It used... to not be so bad. I had someone to go through it with...

[ Emotional as she was, nothing was filtering her words. She didn't even think about what she was saying. It just... spilled out. ]

I'm trying... so hard to be what she wanted me to be.