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[recollecters]

hey. looks like you're all busy right now and joanne is down with a cold, so this probably doesn't have to be fancy. r&d doesn't report anything major for the next month so don't be dumbasses and make a problem of your own. don't fuck with the liaison, we're not replacing him. looks like there's some weird fucking stone at city hall now. enjoy that, i guess. pretty sure zee warned you about the stones, but if you broke it, that sucks and we don't know how to fucking fix it yet so good job, idiot. you might need to be a little proactive. r&d probably has something in mind, but good fucking luck getting a straight answer out of any of them but the kid. maybe they'll at least tell zee what they need, though. or if you're chill with the loss, whatever. that's about it. wait, right. joanne wanted to thank two of you for letting her help with holiday shit last month. thanks for not being assholes. the kid likes having stuff to do, i guess. and that's really it. later. Wendy Guo Security/Archivist Retrspec Incorporated Per the mod plotting post, you may use this post to obtain this month's freebie! This month's freebie can be earned by turning in a thread on this post that has 10 or more consecutive comments from you. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Additionally, the heart stones from February are still in effect! They will be in effect until 3/3 and will be addressed on the event log. Thanks!

Comments

[thebeastwithout]

IT SCARED OFF THE WILD ANIMALS i am a problem SOLVER
not like you losers smelled any better after two weeks!!!!

[darkinferno]

bullshit i brought shampoo, soap, and deodorant with me

problem solver's one thing to call it

until we need to FIND the wild animals at least

[thebeastwithout]

AXE IS DEODORANT
and we didn't have enough water for baths anyway
it's called roughing it not showering every day on a regular basis

i bet the army doesn't shower

[darkinferno]

[There's no response to this on the network. Instead, Dante's calling over to James.]

Hey, James! Does the army shower?

[frostythehitman]

[ He takes a brief break from tapping away on his phone to throw his arm up and give Dante the middle finger. ]

[thebeastwithout]

THAT'S A NO don't say anything else James we're good here.

[frostythehitman]

You would fail out of Basic in half a second flat if you tried pulling this crap in the army.

[fiddlestick]

Showers happen in the army.
And if you need water I can conjure some.
Just please take a bath.

[HE WILL GLADLY DUNK SOME OVER YOU BOY]

[thebeastwithout]

not when they're at war out in the wild!!
and this is totally war
we are warring against
evil darkness creatures or something c'mon

[fiddlestick]

There's still time for a bath in war.
Please Gar.
We're even camped next to a stream!!

[thebeastwithout]

you can only bathe in the blood of your enemies
and evil trees don't have blood
anyway the stream is where we drink from i'm not bathing in that that's gross
don't tell me you guys are rolling around in it while i'm trying to get a sip of water

[darkinferno]

sign me up, he just sprayed that shit all over me

how nose-blind do you have to be to wear this stuff

[fiddlestick]

Oh no I'm sorry Dante.
I'll get the bucket.

I don't think anyone in that company HAS a sense of smell, if you ask me.

[darkinferno]

you're a lifesaver, if i had to go around smelling like this until whenever we finally get out of here...

if they ever had one they sure as hell don't any more

[livingdeadgirl]

gar im sorry but it seems you have been deceived
axe is not deodorant

[thebeastwithout]

why is everyone dunking on me from like three feet away!! i can see you typing right now!
and of course axe is deodorant you spray it and you smell better duh

[livingdeadgirl]

because that is how generation z rolls
but no axe does not make you smell better
it just tries to mask strong odors with an even stronger odor
much like the original purpose of perfume
way back when regular bathing was unheard of
only unlike perfume
axes stronger odor is acrid and noxious
im sorry you had to find out like this
but its the truth

[thebeastwithout]

ok but
acrid and noxious is better than unwashed and dirty
so this is still an improvement right
mostly cause
i don't know what acrid means
or noxious
ok i kinda know what noxious means

[refate]

my dude, axe literally put out a campaign on how much you should spray.
you definitely, definitely spray way more than necessary.
it has surpassed any kind of deodorant, body spray, *anything*.
it has ascended into turning you into a fire hazard.

[thebeastwithout]

if you think about it
that's another superpower
i can control fire with my deodorant

[refate]

thanks, i hated that.
when you catch fire, remember to stop drop roll.
*away* from the source of the fire, ideally, but that's your choice.

[thebeastwithout]

what if i roll towards my enemies and set them on fire
i'm gonna be such a great hero

[commandertoolbelt]

if i accidentally set the whole forest on fire i'm blaming you and your axe

[thebeastwithout]

only you can prevent forest fires man
only you

[commandertoolbelt]

well you know you could help by like
not
using three whole bottles of axe at once