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[recollecters]

What's up, users! We've mostly fixed the technical problems we were having earlier (unless Danny missed something again) but you might want to wear green. Also, I'm supposed to make a vague and mysterious informational post here but that sounded boring so I made a video presentation instead! Watch on YouTube Cheers! Jim Halloway Research & Development Retrspec Incorporated As of this post all apples, oranges, lemons, and limes have been replaced in-universe as the silly dancing fruits shown above. This means that as with Chocobos all NPCs will insist this is how things have always been and history/movies/etc will back them up. In honor of St. Patrick's Day characters will find a request from Retrospec to upload a picture of themselves to the network in which they are wearing something green. They will find themselves shocked lightly by their device if they try to use it without complying. Rude? A non-triggered memory regain can be earned through participation in this post in honor of Lucy's birthday the holiday with proof of a single thread with at least five comments from your character. If you plan to redeem this, please submit it to our regains page with the explanation of "March freebie". This must be submitted before April to be valid! Regardless of whether or not a character earns the freebie, all characters will find a gold coin with the Retrospec logo on one side and a Chocobo on the other. On the outside edge of the coin they will find "Jim, put a meaningful quote here. - Janet" engraved in a beautiful font. The Chocobo will morph into a horse should your character obtain the memory regain from the event; it will stay a Chocobo if your character does not obtain the memory regain. Please see our OOC information post HERE for some information and reminders - you can direct any questions about this post there! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently.

Comments

[professahhh]

I don't understand what's happening

But there are things in the kitchen, and my parents are insisting that everything's fine.

...Are they dangerous?

[ He can't quite bring himself to type 'dancing fruits'. ]

[standalonehuman]

[Oh no, Luke.]

They're not dangerous. It's scary, but they won't hurt you.

I actually tried to see if an apple would bite back because I thought that would be funny. But it won't. So I think they're safe.

[ripplebeat]

six minutes

over six fucking minutes of this shit and i was screaming the entire time

and i was still laughing until i went to the kitchen and saw one of those damn things myself. i think it winked

[commandertoolbelt]

that means it likes you

[wiselys]

This is too stupid.

[ does anything more than that even need saying. ]

[me_matey]

i feel insulted on a level im not sure i can articulate in a meaningful way

like what the fuck

no forget the fruit WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU DO

TO BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

i swear to god im a memelord and i am calling you out your shitposting skills are offensive

delete this post

[true_noir]

It is quite too late for any of that, I fear. The proverbial cat is out of the bag, yes? And now we must deal with their terrible skills and frightening powers of stupidity.

[tokencanadian]

“I sat in the dark and thought: There’s no big apocalypse. Just an endless procession of little ones.”

little smiling fruit, I guess

[clear_eyes]

... Signal to Noise?

[liberal_arts]

This was all fine and good until the still life in my breakfast nook took on the very same faces. That painting is now in the garbage, along with most of the contents of my fruit drawer.

You owe me a painting, at least.

[curseoclock]

whoa seriously?

sheesh this goes DEEP

[obscultator]

[Karl has just uploaded an photograph of himself holding up one of these new "apples," his expression uncharacteristically solemn in amusing contrast to the exuberant fruit. The picture is poorly lit and has clearly been taken by standing front of a mirror and pointing his phone at it. And because he is a total grandpa who doesn't know how apps work, he has managed to make it his profile picture instead of merely uploading it. Wow, Karl.]

[Incidentally, he's wearing a large green shamrock-shapped lapel pin on his usual black collared shirt, thereby fulfilling the dress code requirement entirely by accident.]

Karl Bergfried I have avoided using this application up until now because of the company's poor taste in so-called "viral marketing" tactics, but this has gone too far.
Karl Bergfried Please explain how and why you have broken into the Saint Anthony's rectory building and replaced all of the apples in our kitchen with these ridiculous objects.

[samuraisoul]

Jūbei Nankōbō I'm not sure they broke in anywhere to do this.
Jūbei Nankōbō If you look at any old paintings or images of the relevant fruit you'll find those have changed as well, which can't be explained by an easy switch in every single case.
Jūbei Nankōbō Same as it was when horses were replaced by chocobos...

[divine_braid]

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THE FRUIT?

[clear_eyes]

I'm pretty sure it's merely superficial, at least. No less strange though...

[truedetective]

I've narrowed it down to either mass hallucination, or... ...to be honest, I don't yet have an alternative.

[true_noir]

I think every explanation always falls short, because there is a piece missing. It leaves us with only confusion for now.

And smiling orange rinds on the counter.

[voideity]

[ attached is a selfie of roxy, all decked out in green-- green shirt, green miniskirt, green leggings, green eyeshadow, green lipstick, green nail polish, green boots. she's also winking and flipping the bird. ]

now will you stop electrocuting me u fruit ruining aholes
tho i would def accept that marriage proposal
@janet get that boy hes clearly a keeper

[parodeity]

hey i borrowed a green scrunchie from you hope you dont mind

[erythristic]

it's a novel way to propose, if nothing else.

we can start a betting pool on janet's response, and possibly her method of reply.

[thank god there's no fruit at work. she's not touching that yet.]

[sharplydressed]

i'm still betting on a solid "no". any method of reply would be fine as long as they don't both start spamming the network with video replies to each other

[okitactless]

Yasusada Yamato shared a photo. 3/17 near Recollé University

this is an old picture but I don't wear very much green

[Yamato has no idea what's going on anymore and he also didn't bother watching the whole video, he's just falling back on what he knows--embarrassing Kashuu in public.]

[sharplydressed]

maybe you could, you know

go to your closet and put on something green and take a selfie like a normal person instead of being a giant asshole

[HECKIN RUDE.]

[daemonized]

How utterly romantic. Though the real question is this: would dear Freddie be proud of his contribution to this presentation? Or mortified instead?

(Also Fynn, if you're seeing this, please toss out any singing fruit from the crisper. There will be no such display of exuberance from any food in my house.)

[doublesmall]

rolling in his grave, in my opinion

though it's kind of an appropriate song choice on our end, I guess. asking the same questions we are.

[caelestialis]

I need an adult who isn't me.

[ because what did she wake up to from her nap. ]

[goen]

You rang?!

[ Technically... ]

[rednerd]

I am now strictly a carnivore.
I don't trust that the vegetables aren't next.

[appraiser]

would you eat them if they were cooked or peeled?
beef and pork also had faces once
just think of it like that?

[rosebleue]

i was peeling an apple while watching this and when i turned back the peels had a face on them?

i don't think i've ever thrown something this hard in my life before

how am i supposed to eat or make anything fruity with a good conscience now?????

[appraiser]

i am
so sorry
faces appearing in mid-peel sounds traumatizing

[megabond]

[In a photo he uploaded, you can see he's wearing a blue shirt with a green ribbon pin on his collar. If it wasn't enough, he also wears a green jacket just for the holiday.

As for the video and the aftermath of the events in his apartment...]

I don't know what to say now...

To be honest, this is just downright impossible...

[notyourutopian]

I think we're going to have to start stretching our definition of impossible.

[arahoushi]

Toshi Inoue So...I have a lot of oranges that it turns out I don't need.
Toshi Inoue Apples, too
Toshi Inoue let's just say juicing has suddenly gotten really weird

[doublesmall]

oh god now you really are gonna blend vegetables in everything aren't you

[digthefuzz]

i
i don't even know where to begin

[wiselys]

I don't curse much, but start with "what" and end with "the fuck".

[redarm]

Noah Robin Campbell shared a photo. 3/17 near Tisse

I hope you arseholes get eaten alive by the creepy fruit. It'd serve you right, fuckers.

[momentaryspring]

Looking sharp.

[yoyoboy]

So... There are smiling fruits dancing in my dining table's fruit bowl. Fruits that now have smiling faces... DANCING in the fruit bowl...

Guess I'm not the only one going crazy right now.

[sparsity]

[ He's not committed to giving up apples. Not today, Satan. ]

so what's the best way to eat one

[counteracts]

no

[vendettastool]

Yoon-sung Lee shared a photo. 03/17 near Tisse

Nothing like a fuzzy sweater while being gently slooshed Also. I am a horrible fruit killer. All the fruit are diced and sliced and blendereded Also. Also. That video looks like my first programming project. wHO STOLEN MY FIRST PROGRAMMING PROJECT I WANT IT BACK

[starfruitfrog]

Yuki Sato You're not just a horrible fruit killer, you're one of those crazy killers that dismembers their victims and everything. Scary.

[starfruitfrog]

Something in my lunchbox is singing
My apple is singing??




Actually, it's pretty good? Hey, does anyone have any more of them? Let's put them together, I want to see what kind of harmony they're going to do.

[constellates]

a fruit choir ?
cute idea

[furtherforward]

Akira Midousuji shared a photo. 3/17 near Apprassage

AS I PREDICTED, THEY LOOK SO HAPPY
TOO HAPPY FOR THEIR EVENTUAL DEMISE!! GROSS

happy now, Retrospec?? is that enough green? I draw the line at being zapped by my PHONE

[starfruitfrog]

Yuki Sato WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POOR LEMON
Yuki Sato Wait, are you trying to eat a lemon? People eat lemons?!